Her eyes stayed closed; she was still floating as she snuggled against him. Heedless of what he might think or say, all her former misgivings, worries, and intuition seemed to vanish in the throes of multiple orgasms; and now, she was totally comfortable with Jim.
“Kayla?”
“Hmm?” She still didn’t open her eyes. Not quite ready to stop floating on Cloud Nine. It felt like sunshine and a warm breeze caressing her limbs. He leaned over her and she turned flat on her back. She felt for his head and pulled him closer. His lips touched hers. She could taste where he’d been; it was still on his lips. Surprised and feeling a little strange because it was Jim, she hungrily kissed him.
She finally opened her eyes. “What?”
“We can’t ever do this again.”
She smiled and patted his face. After that, there was no way this wouldn’t be happening a lot. “Okay, Jim.”
She rolled over and maneuvered one of his hands under her and the other one over her to cradle her naked body. The way she wanted. He was rigid behind her, and she kicked his shin. “You’re not going to do that to me and just get up and leave.”
He was stiff before he finally moved and his face rested on the side of hers as she felt him smiling. “I guess that’s fair.”
“Duh. I figured you don’t know anything about women, but know this: you don’t just leave. And one more thing, be nice to me.”
He stayed there as she continued floating on clouds of ecstasy with her eyes shut. She was happy. Relaxing into her languid feelings, she soon fell into a soft, light sleep.
When she opened her eyes, she was blinking at the light in her room, which had changed. The sun was setting and the bright bedroom was bathed in soft shadows. The afterglow finally dissipated so her brain could function again.
Jim still held her. She shifted and realized she was naked from the waist down but she didn’t care. Until now. She shivered and grew chilled. “One of these times, we’ve got to try that in a bed.”
He awoke with a start and loosened his grip. “There can’t be a—”
She set a finger on his lips. “Next time? Yes, there will definitely be many more times. There is no way this can’t continue. You can deny your internal conflict with sex, but quit pretending I’m not with you now or that you don’t want me.”
“But I can’t. You don’t understand…”
“No. Do you want to explain it to me?”
“I just… can’t. I become very different. Not in a good way. What I did was wrong. The rug burns on you and…”
“Oh, my God. I haven’t moved in an hour. It was too good. It was… oh, toe-curling. So yeah, it turns you into something I find hot and sizzling and yummy. I don’t know why it happens or where it comes from, but if you don’t want it to be with me or whatever, you’d better catch up and figure it out.”
For a long time, he was quiet. Finally, he nodded and buried his face into her hair. “It’s you.” He was so quiet, she wondered what he meant. Why the oddness now? Why couldn’t he just share his thoughts with her? What was the big deal about the carpet compared to the heat and fun of this? A simple conversation would solve it, but Jim was not simple. Complicated. Strange. Odd. And really smokin’ hot.
And he was here. Kayla was ready to take whatever she could get now. Never mind all the whys and wherefores, at least for now. Of course. Jim had trust issues and maybe this wasn’t what he wanted, but she knew he did want it, hence his being here. So with more time, would there be more trust? What about more sex? She could only wonder.
But oh. She got a thrill at Jim’s soft, deep words, It’s you.
She was in big trouble.
“When I asked you not to come to church, it wasn’t because I didn’t want to see you anymore. I just don’t know how to do this. How to be one way with you and another way as pastor. If I see you sitting there for my sermon, speaking will be pretty much impossible for me.”
“I won’t show up then. We’ll keep it super hush-hush. Just between us.”
“Can we just not discuss it all the time?”
She smiled. Ah. A booty call without strings. If any other man said that to her, she’d scoff and call him an ass. If a girlfriend experienced it, she’d tell her to get her head out of her ass and realize the guy wasn’t into her, he just wanted sex. That’s it. But with Jim?
Oh, damn no. She knew he was not doing that. He was struggling with his spirituality and mortality. Fighting for his soul or something. She didn’t get it at all. But whatever happened to Jim, he definitely had lots of sex at some point. He stopped for a while and now that he started doing it again, she doubted he could stop. His body, brain, emotions and heart rediscovered how good sex feels and that’s what horrified him. It seemed to scare him. But he didn’t want to hurt her. Kayla believed that. He would never use her.
“We can do it like this for awhile. I’ll tell you when it’s not enough for me.”
“This? How this happened…”
Flipping over, she rose above him and stared down at his face. Her gaze scoured his features. Jim had an interesting, complex face. Even wearing glasses. She took them from him and smiled, saying, “These must have steamed up pretty foggy at some point.”
Jim smiled and his weariness and confusion retreated for a moment. “I remove them when…” His gaze darted around as if he were searching
