“No,” he replied. “They’re all different. They serve different functions. There’s one room that’s nothing more than a big bedroom.”
“Is that the one Ezra’s staying in?”
He’d almost managed to forget his brother was hanging around somewhere. “Maybe. I hope Tag hid the butt plugs or the good father is going to be shocked.”
She sent him a look that let him know he was on thin ice. “He’s not a prude.”
Unfortunately, she was just going to have to get used to how he and his brother communicated. “I thought that was part of his job now.”
“And I thought you were getting along.”
He had to grin at that. “You forget how we were before he died. We’re brothers. We give each other shit. We are better. I promise. But I hope he’s not right next door to us. It would be weird to walk out in my leathers and see my brother trying to get ice or something.”
He got his first smile out of her. “It’s not a motel.”
“No, it’s way kinkier than any motel. But there is an ice machine on this floor. There’s a tiny pantry because a couple of members are into food play. Also, as we’ve seen with Ezra, Tag often stashes people he wants to hide here.”
“It seems to be a theme,” Kim replied. “Does Big Tag have a thing about multiuse spaces? He seems to think all BDSM clubs should also be safe houses. Maybe he thinks the bad guys will be scared off by all the leather.”
He loved joking with her, but tonight it was a way to distance herself. He could see it in the blandness of her expression. “Or he knows how to use lube as a weapon, and there’s plenty of that here.” He had everything he needed. He couldn’t put it off anymore, but he could give her one last chance. “Do you want to change rooms? We can sit and talk in one of the bedrooms.”
A stubborn look crossed her face. “I’m fine with this one. It looks like fun.”
She was going to fight him until the end. “Excellent. Then take off your clothes.”
“I don’t know that I would call them clothes,” she snarked.
He wasn’t having that tonight. It all started here and now. He picked up the paddle he’d bought for her. “Turn around and lean over. We’ll start with five.”
Her eyes widened. “Why?”
“Now it’s ten.”
She huffed but turned around and reached for her ankles. It gave him the most gorgeous view of her ass. “I’m going to take it this is about sarcasm.”
“It’s mostly about wanting to spank your pretty ass and make it red.” He put a hand on the small of her back and gave her ten rapid smacks. He wasn’t playing around. He wanted her to feel it.
Physical pain to release the emotional pain. And he would be the bad guy.
But then wasn’t he always the bad guy with her?
“Watch your mouth while we’re playing. I’m due respect in this place.” He knew he sounded like an asshole, but that was the point.
She stood up straight. “Respect. Got it.”
Oh, she was on the edge, and he prayed they got through this. He knew exactly what had pushed her to this point. He’d reverted to form earlier in the day, and she suspected that was the truth about him—that the asshole who’d torn her up was still there just waiting to be set free by a single misstep.
He saw the moment she decided to play a part with him. Her expression softened as she turned around and offered him her back. She looked over her shoulder, her hair tumbling down. “Is it all right to ask you to help me? Or should I do it all on my own?”
She wanted the sex and she meant to get it without any of the scary emotions he wanted between them. He moved in and put his hands on her shoulders, easing her hair to one side so he could kiss the nape of her neck. It wasn’t fair. What he was going to do to her wasn’t fair. It wasn’t what they’d agreed on, but if he didn’t try, he would lose her. Maybe he deserved to lose her, but he worried that he was the last stop on the road her heart had been on since she was a child. If he failed to get to her, she might never open herself up again, and he couldn’t live knowing Kim was alone.
“You deserve the whole world, you know,” he whispered.
He felt her muscles go tight. “Sure, Beck.”
He took a deep breath and hardened himself. He quickly got her out of the corset, setting it aside. “Take off the panties. If you have a comment about them, keep it to yourself. And take off the shoes.”
They were one more bit of armor, and he wasn’t leaving her with any tonight.
“But I…” She stopped as though realizing saying anything more would put off getting to the place she wanted to be. She stepped out of the shoes and handed them to him.
With the four-inch heels, they were almost eye to eye. Without them, he could loom over her.
When she handed him the underwear he’d selected for her, she stood in front of him naked, and her eyes had gone soft again. She was like a caged cat, testing every inch of the fence she found herself in for weaknesses.
“Back up to the St. Andrew’s Cross. We’ll start there,” he said, paying no attention at all to the sex she was exuding.
He wanted her more than he could say, but her soul was more important than her body.
He started to tie her to the cross and prayed they came out of this night whole.
Chapter Seventeen
Frustration was starting to get to her. She gently pulled against the ties that bound her to the X-like cross. She’d thought she would be facing the cross like Chelsea had during her scene with her husband, but Beck had turned her
