"Great." She hurried off to join her family and I did the same.
After the sermon, Sarah raced to meet up with me. Before she caught me, I was hoping to sneak out of the building unnoticed. I only got as far as looking at the door.
"Come on, let's go see if it's okay with Ella for you to spend the night." She pulled me with her. But I strained against her urging.
"Wait," I said.
She turned. "What?"
"How about you come to my house instead?"
"Oh. Well that's okay too. I'll go check with my parents first." She disappeared into the leaving crowd and I stood still, waiting for her to return and scanning for Ella who was probably socializing with her friends.
But when someone spotted me, I knew it was time to move. And I took off.
"LeAnna," he called.
I sprang into the crowd hoping he would lose track of me.
But he caught up quickly, touching my arm.
I continued, but he stopped me with his hand around my wrist.
"Stop running from me," he said.
"Stop chasing me."
"I wouldn't have to if you would stay in one place."
"Well I would stay in one place if you would just leave me alone," I snapped, showing him through my tone that I didn't want to be bothered.
He sighed. "I only came to apologize about the other night. I'm sorry. I lost myself."
"I could tell." I tried to jerk away but his clutch became iron.
"What do you have against me?" There was a look in his eyes that told me he was somehow hurt. And he felt wronged by my dislike for him. He wanted to know why. But, save what happened Sunday night, I really didn't have a reason to dislike him. I just did.
"I just don't like you," I said honestly but harshly. My anger had gotten the better of me. And I needed to work on being tactful. That was the hard part about emotions. They seemed to guide me.
He frowned. "Why?"
I tried again to free myself, but he kept me in place.
"Tom, I don't wish to speak to you."
"Well I do wish to speak to you."
"Well then, here's a reason why I don't like you. You're way to forceful and demanding. Now please let me go."
"You seem to be pretty demanding yourself. And the real reason why you don't like me is Felix."
My eyes watered. I had reached the word enough. And Tom let me go. I ran. I ran to Ella.
"Can we go?" I asked.
"Yes, darling. Is everything okay?"
I shrugged it off, hoping not to gain any suspicion. But fire roared inside my head and I wanted to break something.
On the way home, Ella got my attention. "What's been going on? Why are you so upset after church?"
"I'm sorry. I've just been feeling sick recently."
"How so?"
I didn't want to tell her about Tom. Not now. I would think about it later, and even then, I probably wouldn't. It was one of those things that made me nervous. What would happen if she knew? What would she say or think?
"I'm not sure. I think I just need a good night's sleep."
She still looked worried, a worry she couldn't hide. Not even when she smiled. But I reassured her I would be fine.
Chapter 14
Stolen Kiss
In the morning, I woke refreshed. But I made my bed with angry motions. I tried to convince myself it was gone, but when I thought about him the irritation rose again.
So, after breakfast, I visited my favorite tree, collecting my thoughts and trying to make a rational decision about everything.
I dreamed of Felix sitting next to me. He wouldn't let Tom torment me, harass me, chase me. He would put a stop to it. Felix would protect me from anything and anyone. But he had been gone. I smiled thinking about him returning home soon. I closed my eyes and tried to count the exact days since he had left but the cool breeze on my face lulled me to sleep. And I didn't wake up until I heard something snap ahead of me. Someone's foot broke a branch.
"I'm sorry I really am. I never meant to hurt you and I didn't mean to upset you yesterday." Tom stood in front of me. Daring to do this. I felt my teeth clench but seeing his watery eyes softened my heart a little. Tears glazed his eyes.
"I – I don't want to do anything to ever upset you so I will leave you alone if it pleases you. I just wanted you to know."
I couldn't find any words. And I didn't feel mad anymore. I just didn't know what I felt. My silence made him turn to leave.
But at that moment, I identified the feeling. I felt sorry for him. And sorry that I had pushed him to a limit of crying. And despite my mind telling me not to, I wanted to believe him. That he wouldn't upset me anymore. I would never love him the way I loved Felix, but why couldn't he be a friend? The only thing I would ask, is that he keep his word and act only as a friend. Then, everything would be all right and Sarah and Tom and Felix and me could all be friends. And be happy. Well, for the most part.
"Wait!" I called.
He turned, the sunlight casting against his eyes.
"It's okay," I said softly. "You don't have to go. Honestly, I don't love you the way you love me, but being friends doesn't hurt anything. You have to promise, Tom, promise that you will act like a friend. Then we can start new."
He walked over and sat beside me. I held my breath, trying to believe that this was going to work.
"LeAnna," he said. "On my word, I promise to treat you only like a friend and promise to never look at you any other way then only a friend if…"
"If what?"
He searched my face. "If you allow me to kiss you."
"No.
