He put his hand on my back and we walked to the porch. There was a big swing. We sat down and I breathed in the fresh air.
"How are you?" Felix asked.
I stared at the tall trees around us. "I think I'm okay."
"If you ever need to talk, I'm here."
A bee swarmed around a patch of wildflowers. "Thanks." I wished I could tell him my story, but I was afraid.
He pushed us with his feet. "How do you like it here?"
"I love it." I swatted a bug near my face. "But I don't know what's gonna happen to me." I would have to be adopted. I just didn't want to leave.
"I know. But it'll be okay."
"Why?"
He smiled. "Because God's in charge."
I tried to smile. I just wished there was something I could hold on to.
◆◆◆
Two weeks later I was pushing myself on the swing while Felix carried tools to the shed before the rain. I was relaxed, looking at the field when a dog started running down the hill.
I jumped up and ran to the door, feeling shacky.
"What's wrong?" Felix called, carrying a shovel.
I pointed. "There's a dog!"
"You don't like them?"
"No." I grabbed the handle as the dog made it to Felix and sniffed his shoes.
He petted his head. "You don't have to be afraid of Sid, he's a good boy."
I opened the door and went inside with chills down my back. The last time I petted a dog, I got bit in the shoulder and my stepdad made me sleep in the kennel with him.
I went to the kitchen and poured a cup of water and drank it at the table. The back door opened, and Felix came in.
"It's okay now," he said. "Sid is gone."
I picked up the saltshaker and looked at it. "I think I'm gonna stay in for a bit."
"Okay." He sat beside me and tucked my hair behind my ear. "Do you need anything?"
"I'm gonna take a nap."
He went to the fridge. "Okay. Want something to eat first?"
"No, maybe when I get up." I got up and went to my room where I fell asleep.
Chapter 5
Meeting the Blanks
When I woke up, it was dark. I turned on the lamp and cuddled a pillow. I had a dream that the Carlsons adopted me. But they were probably looking for me somewhere else to stay.
He didn't know it, but Felix was my best friend. Would we ever talk again if I left?
I stayed awake for a while thinking about what would happen to me and it made me sad. And after I fell asleep, Ella and Felix came in to check on me.
"She's so shy still," Felix whispered.
Ella pulled the covers over my chest. "Yeah but she's warming up. We'll keep loving her while we can."
◆◆◆
The next day I walked in the wet grass. Felix's hand was on my back.
"Where are you going?" He asked.
I gazed at the sunny field. "Somewhere over there."
We walked to a big red oak in the middle of the field.
Felix leaned against the trunk and I leaned against him, closing my eyes as birds chirped overhead.
I realized Felix was always there for me and looked at him, smiling.
"What are you thinking?" he asked.
The leaves rustled above us, and I picked up a rock.
"It's cool that you're shy. But you can always talk to me."
"I know."
He squeezed my hand. "Good."
After we walked home, Ella was standing by the door with her purse.
"LeAnna, would you like to go shopping?"
"For what?"
She dialed a number on the phone. "New clothes and anything else you want – Yes. She already left? Okay, thank you." She hung up.
"Is someone coming with us?"
"Our friends Jane and her daughter Sarah. She's your age."
A van started up our driveway, I rolled my shorts up and sat on the swing while glancing to see them.
The girl that got out first was Sarah, I guessed. She caught me looking and waved. While Ella and Jane talked, she walked to me.
"It's nice to meet you," she said. "I'm Sarah and that's my brother Tom." She pointed at a tall boy in a tank top. Him and Felix had just started talking.
"It's nice to meet you," I said. "The Carlson's have taken me in for a bit. I really like it here."
"I know. We've been praying for you at church." Her eyes were brown and looked happy.
"Wow, thanks."
"It's nothing." She linked her arm around mine and led me towards the van.
"Are you girls ready?" Ella asked and followed us to the door. Jane sat in the driver's seat and waved to the boys. "We'll be back," she said.
We drove to a few cool stores and I bought everything I thought would look good on me. Which wasn't a lot.
Ella took a dress off a rack and held it up. "This will be nice for tomorrow."
"What's tomorrow."
"Church," Sarah chimed, smiling.
My teeth clenched. Church meant lots of people and opinions. They'd hate me.
The boys were eating on the porch when we returned home. I hurried up the stairs between them, noticing that Tom was looking at me. I felt ugly. I quickly went inside and hid in my room.
Chapter 6
Going to Church
It was the kind of morning that smothers out the night with its big sky and sun. With its singing birds and dew. I could sit and watch it for hours.
But there was no time for that. Everyone was getting ready for church.
Once dressed, I gazed in the mirror at my body. I was skinny especially my legs and arms. The sleeveless dress amplified it.
I hurried out. Felix was waiting in the living room, his hair combed.
He smiled, not seeing the same thing I saw when I looked at me. As we rode, I imagined the people, the pastor, and the sanctuary.
"I've never been to church before," I whispered to Felix.
"It's awesome," he said.
"Really? Mom wanted to take me, but after dad died, we couldn't afford gas."
"I'm sorry, LeAnna," he whispered.
The church was a white building. We walked
