Everyone was talking, even Felix. I felt awkward as I stood alone to the side. But a girl in a black dress hurried up to me.
"Hi." She put out her hand. "My name is Tina." She scanned me with her black eyes.
"I'm LeAnna."
Her nose wrinkled. "LeAnna," she mumbled. "Everyone's talking about you."
I didn't know what to say or how to act.
"How old are you?" She asked.
"Fourteen. I'll be fifteen in February."
"I turn fifteen in January," she said staring at my hair now.
I tugged at my dress and looked around.
"Want to be friends?" She asked.
"Okay."
"Great. I'll see you around then." She turned and zipped off.
We soon went home and had lunch. After eating, a horn blew, and everyone rushed to the door.
I sat alone, watching the window. Watching Roger get out of his truck and embracing his family. Everyone was smiling. I remembered how it felt when my father came home. I remember how he grabbed my mother's waist and how he lifted me up in the air. And I remember the day he didn't. The day he didn't come home.
They came back inside, and Roger smiled at me. "Hello, LeAnna."
I smiled at him. He looked a lot like Felix. They had the same Carlson eyes and brown hair. The same smile. The same nose. Felix was a replica of his father the same way I was a replica of Aleena.
That evening, Felix and I walked to the tree and sat beneath it in the breeze. He closed his eyes with a peaceful expression on his face. I watched him. I watched him until fierce orange from the setting sun sprinkled across his strong face.
I smiled. I watched him. And I felt comfortable beside him.
Then, without thinking and without willing it, his name escaped my lips. And like always, he was listening. He became alert and gazed at me. His eyes were intense. The smile he was trying to hold back was handsome.
I felt embarrassed. I went quiet.
He searched my face. "LeAnna?"
I finally smiled. I smiled because I loved the way he said my name.
"What is it?" He asked.
I searched my mind for an answer, something to say, anything. But instead, I just blushed. Bright red.
"It's okay. You can talk to me."
"Oh – oh." It sounded awkward. "I wanted to ask you to read to me."
Without hesitating, Felix walked back to the house and retrieved his bible. He read to me. He read to me and I grabbed his arm, listening. My thoughts drifted to the past. I remembered the last moments. The things my stepfather had done. The pain, as if happening all over again, exploded over me. And I cried. I could see his eyes, his unnerving cruel eyes. And how they flared wide when he snapped.
Felix stopped reading. He saw my tears and the fear capturing my face.
"What’s the matter?" He asked quickly.
"Nothing – nothing." My voice cracked.
"There's something bothering you. What is it?"
It happened quickly. I laid my head against his shoulder and cried. The kind of crying that never wanted to stop, like a river that never runs dry. Felix put his arm around me and stroked my hair. He was warm and comforting.
"I'm sorry," I apologized. Feeling foolish, reckless, and a burden.
"Don't be." He said it like it truly didn't bother him. I didn't need to be sorry. He understood more than me. He knew who I was under who I thought I was. Felix didn't think I was a burden. "What’s on your mind?"
"I – I was thinking about my stepfather." I swallowed hard, preparing myself for what I was going to do. And I did it. From beginning to end. I told Felix about my life. And I didn't think crying any harder was possible, but it was. The endless river became a bursting dam. Every tear was my fears, my past, the darkness. And he just hugged me, wrapping his arms around my arms and rocking gently.
"Sometimes I believe what my stepfather said about me," I admitted as the tears were drying, crying ceased.
"No, nothing he said is true. He is a liar."
"I feel worthless at times."
"Not to me."
Felix helped me up. And we walked home together.
Chapter 7
Will You Be Mine?
In the morning, after a bath and combing my hair, I realized I was stronger. Significantly. Now, I just needed to work on the mental part. The part that told me I was worthless, not good for anything, and undeserving of life. But physically, I was stronger.
I walked outside and saw Felix sitting next to the post. He turned and smiled.
"You look well today."
I walked over, then stopped. The shaggy dog had returned and was sitting only a couple of feet away from Felix.
I turned, ran inside, and collapsed on the couch with a ponding heart. I knew I didn't have a reason to be afraid – well, not a valid reason. But all dogs scared me. And that was all the reason I needed.
Felix came in shortly after and stood over the couch. "Don't be afraid, LeAnna," he said. "Come back outside. I took Sid home."
I didn't answer. I didn't move. A part of me felt upset that he didn't warn me when I came outside.
"I want to show you something," he said.
I looked into his eyes. "Okay." But I was still upset. Just a little.
I followed him out. Curiosity filled me as we walked down the stairs together and across the field.
"What is it?" I asked.
"You'll see. It's the prettiest in the morning and evening."
There was a wooded area ahead. A fortress. Tree soldiers guarding a sun-gazed entrance. We walked through the pine trees and it happened instantly. My heart melted. It was awe. It was the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. The pond was purple, or at least it had
