"And what if I am?"
Tom drew a breath. "I'm only her friend."
"Hm, last time I checked, friends don't force friends to kiss them."
"Felix, stop!" I yelled.
"You don't deserve her!" Tom yelled.
And the resulted in him getting pushed. Hard. By Felix.
But Tom showed no weakness. He stood, brave, tall, and fearless.
"Is tat all you got, buddy?"
Apparently not. Felix reared his fist back.
But I wouldn't allow it. I was now taking control. And I knew it was the only thing that would work.
"It's over, Felix!" I yelled. "I can't do this anymore." And once the words escaped my lips, I knew there was no taking it back.
And it worked.
Felix stopped everything.
But before anything else could be said or done, we were being sent to the principal's office.
Chapter 30
Perfect Family
We explained what happened – well, we tried to. It ended up sounded so jumbled that the principal grew irritated at us and demanded for everyone to be quiet. The furrowed look on his face revealed how disappointed he was in us.
"This is a Christian school," he said. "You kids are old enough to know better. Your parents will come to pick you up since the bus has already left."
So, we waited. But the waiting area was small. Too small for all the feelings that were racing inside me. It was more than just a war between friends. It was a war inside of me. Wondering, despite how I felt, what I should really do. Meaning, I was beginning to feel as though I didn't belong here anymore. I was tired of fighting.
"LeAnna, I'm sorry," Felix apologized and reached for my hand but I pulled away. Hard. Showing him how much I didn't want to hold his hand.
I just wanted to cry. I wanted to let the tears that were lacing my eyes streak my cheeks.
"No," I said. "I'm sorry. I'm the reason this had happened. I've ruined your friendship, I've ruined your reputation at school, I've ruined everything. I can't stand this anymore. I'm tired of your fights. I can't stand seeing Tom reject food. Not eating. Starving to death. And you caring nothing about him. Even Sarah and I have started to fight over it. I'm tired. And I'm not doing this anymore. It's over between us and I'm going somewhere where I can't ruin your life. I love my new family but there is nothing I can do about it. Maybe Ella can find me new foster parents." The tears had escaped now. In that hard, stale chair, my spirits were hopelessly crushed.
"Don't say that," Felix said gently. "You're not going anywhere."
I stood. "Watch me."
Tom hurried to my side. "This isn't your fault. This is our fault, Felix's and mine."
"I don't care who's fault it is." I pushed from him both and found a different spot. A different spot where the dread filled me. The dread of having to see Roger's face when he would arrive. The disappointment. Ella would be at work. But when she would return home, Roger would tell her. And she too, would be disappointed.
"Felix, LeAnna." A deep voice called.
The time had come. And I walked through the cold, bitter room with my head down.
The drive home was silent. I didn't know which was worse. I would have rather he reprimand us than say nothing at all. It made me wonder what was coming. And dread it even more.
When we got home, I went straight to my room and pulled the covers over my head. I didn't come out. Not for a second. The only time I stirred was when I heard the door gently open and soft footsteps sang through the stillness.
The smell of cinnamon met my nose. Ella was home from work.
"LeAnna, talk to me sweetie."
I slowly poked out from the covers and saw her sitting at the end of my bed.
I had to get it out. Clean and fast.
"I need to find a different place to live." I wanted to say more. I wanted to say I loved her and that I wanted it to work but that it just couldn't. But I didn't get that far. The tears began to fall so hard that blinded my eyes.
"LeAnna! Why do you say this?"
I explained. From top to bottom. Everything. No matter how embarrassing. No matter how much I thought she would be disappointed. I wanted her to know it all. The truth.
And she listened. And when she finished listening, she said, "This is not your fault, dear. You may be the reason for some of the conflict but when did conflict ever hurt anyone? Learning to get along is healthy. Why, before you ever came, Felix had gotten into many fights and arguments at school. He's disappointed people and so have I. Nobody's perfect. And leaving right now won't do any good. It will only cause heart break. You are a daughter to me, the only girl I've ever had, and I love you very much. Felix loves you, Jason adores you, and Roger thinks you're smart and that you add a nice touch to our home. Sarah's never had a friend like you before. And honestly darling, the fights that have been going on here lately is not because you're hated but because you are loved."
I threw myself in Ella's arms and she hugged me.
"Thank you so much," I cried. "I will never even think about leaving, not ever again."
I loved all the Carlsons. As if they had always been mine. I wiped the tears from my cheeks. Ella had a tear on her cheek too.
I sniffled. "I guess this is all just a big mess that needs to be cleaned up once and for all."
She smiled. "That's right. Don't worry, we will all get together soon. Things will change and I won't have my girl's feelings getting al torn up anymore."
I smiled, leaning in to hug her once more. "Thank you for being good to me, Ella. You treat me like
