"Really – really?"
"Yes, really." His eyes, blue, turned a darker blue beneath the outside lights. His jaw tightened. There was emotion there. "We love you. I love you."
"I – I do too. Your family. And you."
He came up quickly, right in front of me. He didn't want me to leave. He wanted me to stay. And that's not all he wanted.
"Will you allow me to kiss you?"
Instantly, I was nervous. But I wanted that too.
"Yes," I said softly.
Under the stars, under the immense, unending universe, Felix placed his hand on my face and pulled me by my shoulder as he leaned in. Our lips touched. My stomach did a thousand flips. And Felix pulled away, smiling.
"LeAnna."
"Yes?"
"Will you be mine?"
"What do you mean?"
"Will you be my girlfriend?"
It was then, that I smiled. A true real smile. "Yes."
Now we were both smiling. He wrapped his warm hand around mine and led me inside, quietly.
"Goodnight," he said before leaving me at my door. "And don't jump to conclusions so quickly next time."
I laid my head down that night with a smile on my face. A peaceful smile. I was Serene. I was Calm. I was Wanted.
Chapter 8
Felix's Departure
Two months passed by quickly and I had hit an emotional growth spirt during this time. It was already September and Felix and I were raking massive leaf piles at the bottom of the high bank.
We were closer. And even though he didn't ask to kiss me since that night, we had built an outstanding friendship in a way that made me question if I had ever been closer to anyone than I was him.
I was stronger, as an individual, as a girl. And a lot healthier. Those things combined, made me more comfortable in my new life.
And, during this time, the Carlsons had extended my stay. They wanted to adopt me. Keep me as theirs forever. This meant that I belonged.
Finishing the pile, I ran up the sloppy part of the bank and jumped in first. Felix was right behind, landing beside me. We laid on our backs laughing for what seemed like hours.
"LeAnna, you're the prettiest thing I've ever seen. Even with all those leaves in your hair."
He reached to pull a leaf from my hair, but his eyes caught mine. He swallowed and his jaw tightened. I knew then, something was on his mind. He looked down and back up.
"I'm going with dad out of town for a few weeks. We're leaving in the morning."
I grabbed his arm. "I don't want you to leave." If he had said a few days, I wouldn't have felt the anxiety that I felt. But he said weeks. Which, in my fearful mind, meant forever. And that sent my anxiety sky high.
"I don't want to leave you either. But this is an opportunity to spend time with my dad and I really need to. Plus, he wouldn't be very happy if I made an excuse why I can't go.
"I don't want to be without you." The anxiety felt like wet clothing, sticking to my skin. It made me shiver. It felt like being left out in the cold.
"It won't be that long. What's a couple of weeks?"
"Forever." I groaned.
"No, it's not."
"Only if you say so, Felix."
"Well, I do." He finished pulling the leaf from my hair. "I'm glad I'm wanted though."
He suddenly leaned in, but I dodged him.
"You didn't ask," I teased, standing.
"I shouldn't have to," he argued.
I ran. Took off. Quickly. Speedily. Up the ditch and straight for home. But Felix caught my arm an pulled me to a stop and turned me to face him.
"Listen, I'm going to miss you really bad too. You could at least give me something to go on."
"It might help you, but it will only make me miss you more." With that, I ran home, and Felix didn't stop me.
I entered our homely cabin and spotted Ella in the kitchen handwashing dishes.
"Playing hard?" She asked.
"You could say that."
That evening, Felix packed his things for the morning.
"Read to me, Anna," he said, as he walked by my door.
I followed him to the porch and read Easter chapter two. I stuttered on a couple of words, but Felix helped me pronounce them.
"You're doing great. I'm very proud." He smiled.
When I finished, I put the bible aside and gazed at the vanishing pink sun.
"Want to go to your favorite tree?"
"Yes," I replied. And we walked to it, sat, and talked underneath its thin empty branches.
I leaned against him. "I will miss you."
"And I you."
"Tell me, who will help me with my reading while you're away?"
"Jason."
"And who will protect me from the dogs?"
"Sid."
"But Sid is a dog!"
"Yes, a friendly guard dog. You are afraid of sweet animals."
"I have a good reason why." I didn't.
"And I have a good reason why you should stop being afraid of them." He wiped his hands on his jeans and played with a strand of my hair.
"What's your reason?"
"Because they are friendly and will keep you occupied while I am away. You can read to Sid and he'll protect you when you sit by your favorite tree."
I laughed. "I wouldn't like it."
"You never know until you try." He dropped the stand of hair he had braided.
I turned toward him. "I mean it, Felix. I’m going to miss you really bad. I feel secure when I'm with you, like nothing can ever harm me when you touch me with your gentle hands."
"I know. But I have to leave and it's not going to be forever. Just two weeks or more."
I frowned.
"LeAnna, I was thinking."
I looked at him.
He said, "I'm leaving tomorrow but I would like to tell you and early goodbye. I mean, I would like to kiss you while no one is around. I – I asked this time."
There were twinkling stars in his
