“Ry, you know if we do this, it wouldn't mean anything right?” His tone was empathetic, and the sound of it only furthered the hurt of his hesitation.
I pulled back. “I get it, Ty. I know we’re just friends. I just didn't want to lose my virginity to some random guy, but forget it. If you can't get into it, you know, because it's me. I understand.”
He cut me off from saying anything else by leaning in and gently brushing his lips across my own in a soft kiss. The familiar warmth of his mouth tracing mine made me whimper and I slowly parted my lips to his.
I heard him groan as his lips finally crushed mine in a kiss, the sound causing my entire body to heat. Suddenly, the kiss wasn't enough. I needed more, to cure all the tension the years had plagued me with in his absence.
I reach out to him, grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer. He responded to me immediately, one of his hands finding its way to my waist.
I felt his fingers slowly inch up my side, under my shirt, brushing lightly over my bare skin. The simple touch caused another moan to slip past my lips, and the sound had him pulling away from me.
“Ry…” He stated in a heavy breath.
My own heart was racing now. I was so scared that he was backing out. I knew I couldn't handle him rejecting me, not now.
I moved off my bed, shifting to stand in front of him. He watched me in silence as I slowly started to unbutton and unzip my jeans. I kept eye contact with him the entire time as I pushed them down my legs and abandoned them on the floor.
I grabbed the bottom of my shirt next, pulling it up over my head, causing me to lose sight of him for a moment.
Once I was free of my shirt, I went to lock eyes with his again, but his gaze had left mine. His eyes were traveling along my body now instead, and I was left standing in front of him in only my bra and underwear.
I’d never felt so exposed, and nervous, in my life.
“I know I’m not your type, but if you’d just try to do this for me, it would mean a lot. I don’t want my first time to be with somebody who doesn’t care about me.”
He stood up from the bed and moved to stand in front of me. His fingertips brushing over my bare shoulders and then down the sides of my arms.
“Stop talking like that, I don’t like it. You’re beautiful, Ry. If I had a type, you’d be it. The way you look has never been a problem for me. It’s just… you’re Ry. You mean a lot to me and I don't ever want to risk what we have.”
It was something I could never change. He would always just see me as his childhood best friend. No matter what happened between us, it would never change. He always made that very clear.
I glanced down at the floor. “I understand. We don’t have to do this.”
He pushed my chin up so I’d look at him.
“I didn't say I wouldn't be your first, Ry.” He reassured me as my eyes found his. “I’m just saying I want us to be sure about this first. I mean, in my eyes, no one is good enough to be your first. Myself, included. That being said, I'd be lying if I didn’t admit that I'd rather it be me over any of those idiots you’ve been seeing.”
He smiled and, as if I had no control, so did I.
“I just need you to be sure this won’t hurt you, or our friendship, in the long run.” He finished.
I paused, my stomach turning with nerves and my heart still racing so fast I thought I might cry. “I just want my first time to mean something and you mean something to me. You’re my best friend, Ty.”
I caught another brief smile from him before he leaned down and nudged his lips softly against mine again. The second I felt them, I parted my mouth against his and we quickly picked up where our last kiss had left off.
His arms moved around me, and he planted his hands at my lower back, pulling me closer again. After a few seconds passed I could feel the kiss increasing in urgency and I felt his fingers traveling up my back, stopping at my bra. Within seconds, I felt it drop from my body, and I gasped into our kiss.
He pressed his forehead against mine as he pulled away from me. Letting his lips linger near mine. “Do you want me to stop, Ry?”
If I hadn’t known better, I might’ve thought that husky tone in his voice was mimicking the way my own nerves were making me feel. Excited, scared, and even emotional.
“No, I’m just nervous.” I whispered back against the warmth of his mouth.
He pulled back enough that I caught sight of his light blue eyes, and the way he looked at me was unfamiliar.
I looked down at the ground as he stepped away from me and when I looked up again, he was pulling his own shirt off and tossing it to the ground.
My eyes became glued to the body they so often avoided on a regular basis. He was tan from summers spent by the pool, and he had gained an incredible build from all the sports
