Suddenly, I could remember the way she tasted when I kissed her, and it bothered me. I didn’t want to think about her like that. That's what got us here in the first place.
“His name is Kirk.” She corrected, before crossing her arms over her chest.
I didn’t want to fight with her, but I wasn’t ready to let her walk away yet. Every time she left; I wasn't sure if I'd see her again.
“Oh, sorry. Kirk, I mean.” I rolled my eyes.
“Why do you have to be such a jerk, Ty?”
Hearing her call me Ty was like a mini victory, every single time.
“Why did you have to leave in the middle of the night without even telling me goodbye?” I spat back at her.
The words flew out of me as if I’d been waiting to ask her that question all night or maybe even for the last five years. The truth was, I had been.
Suddenly I was angry again, like it’d just happened. I felt my adrenaline coursing through me, and I wanted answers.
She stood about ten feet away from me in silence, her eyes moving to her feet and she was twisting her sneakers against the pavement.
She always did that when she got nervous.
I pushed off my car and started walking towards her, causing her to look up at me finally.
“Ty, you know why.” She said as she took a step back when I stopped a foot or two away from her.
"Really? You threw away our friendship all because I was late to the treehouse because Crystal came by?” I asked defensively.
I knew she was pissed that Crystal was there when she showed up looking for me that night. I explained several times in voicemails and text messages, that I hadn’t invited her over. I even left her there and went looking for Ryder that night, only an hour after she left. I just needed time to think first, but apparently I took too long.
I watched her facial expressions switch from hesitant to angry.
“Fuck you.” She stated angrily, without explanation.
I found it ironic that growing up she was always telling me to watch my mouth. Yet, tonight she was the one with the mouth.
“Wow, do you really hate me that much?” I asked. “I mean damn, Ry. I'm just trying to understand.”
“You really want to know why I cut you out of my life?” She asked, and I could tell that whatever she was about to unleash on me she had been holding in for a long time.
"Yes! That's all I've ever wanted to know.” I reminded her.
“Fine! I cut you out because I thought you cared about me, but you didn't! I thought I could trust you… but I can't.” She finished in a whisper, seeming pained by the words themselves.
“What?! Are you kidding me? You know that's bullshit! No one cares about you like I do! You’re my best friend, Ry!” I yelled.
“Your best friend? Really, Ty? I don’t think a best friend would have slept with me and then less than an hour later turned around and slept with his ex-girlfriend. I mean couldn't you have waited?”
“What the hell are you talking about? I never hooked up with Crystal that night, I told you that!”
“Oh? So, she just showed up topless?” She asked, sarcastically.
She had a permanent glare on her face, and I sighed in frustration.
“Ry, she came on to me yes, but I didn’t sleep with her. I told her it was a bad idea because I was leaving for college. She showed up when I was getting ready to go see you, but nothing happened.”
She stood there now, tears pooling in her eyes. I reached out to her, but she pulled away from me.
“So, you only told her no because you were leaving?”
I rolled my eyes. “No, Ry. I told her no because I wasn’t into it, okay?”
“Why weren’t you into it?” Her eyes were still on the verge of tears, like she needed a better answer from me.
I glanced away from her and over to my parents house, looking for a distraction. My dad still wasn’t home.
"Ty?” She called out to me, bringing my attention back to her question.
I had worked so hard to avoid that memory for the last five years. Now here she was in my shirt from that night, asking me all these damn questions, and looking sexy as hell.
No, Tyler. It's Ryder.
“Ry, what do you want me to say?”
She crossed her arms again. “Ty, look at me.”
I glanced up into those familiar emerald green eyes. They were still flooded with pending tears and the sight weighed heavily on my chest.
“I want you to acknowledge it. I want you to stop pretending like nothing happened between us.” She finished.
I hated seeing her cry, all it did was make me feel like a failure. My sole purpose in life was to protect her and each time she hurt, I’d failed her.
“Why do we have to talk about this? You promised me nothing would change.” I reminded her.
“I was eighteen, Ty. I lied.”
I looked away from her again and growled out in annoyance. “What the hell am I supposed to say? None of it matters now, does it? Not why you left, or how I felt. You walked out of my life, and you're happier now. The end.”
I looked down at her and this time she was the one avoiding my gaze.
“It does matter.” She muttered under her breath.
“Does it, though? You live hours away, with your new friends, your new job, and your boyfriend. Is there really anything I can say that can get me my best friend back?”
