“Sassy,” I said, feeling sick to my stomach. “Zorro was supposed to be with you.”
“Wait. I thought he was with you,” Sassy replied, getting slightly hysterical.
“Why would he be with us?” I asked, snatching the note out of Mae Blockinschlokinberg’s hand. “You were supposed to find him and bring him to your house for the night so Zelda and Mac could bang in peace.”
Sassy pulled on her hair and flew right into the wall, sending a pyramid of applesauce crashing to the ground. “Shit,” she cried out as she slid to the floor and landed in the mess. The packets exploded, and we were all covered in mushy apple. “He wasn’t at the community center when I went looking for him. I figured he went back to Zelda’s. She said you guys were staying with Fabio. I didn’t think to clarify what you guys meant. I thought it was all three of you.”
Sassy began to cry. My stomach dropped to my toes.
“Bad things happen to those who destroy greatness,” Mae Blockinschlokinberg hissed, enjoying the unfolding drama. “Bad voodoo.”
“Shut your trap,” I snapped at her and scanned the note. “It’s Zorro’s handwriting. He wrote this.”
“What does it say?” Zach asked, looking over my shoulder.
“Says we never should have murdered the Queen,” I read aloud, confused.
“Oh my Goddess,” Sassy gasped out, covered from head to toe in applesauce. “You guys offed Freddie Mercury?”
“No, we didn’t off the greatest singer in the world other than Steve Perry,” I said with an eye roll.
“Read the rest,” Zach said.
I nodded. My hands trembled. “Willow and Zach, I am leaving Assjacket. I can no longer live with the guilt of killing our Queen. We never should have murdered her. We will pay. I’d suggest you repent as well. Zorro.”
“Who is the Queen?” Roger asked, perplexed.
“I don’t know a Queen,” I said, shaking my head. It was Zorro’s handwriting, but not his voice. He rarely got through a sentence without the word guurrlfriend in it. “Do you know a Queen?” I turned to Zach.
Zach’s eyes had dilated and his fury made everyone in the room take a step back except me. He was a deadly magical volcano about to erupt. Sadly, I’d seen him like this many times and it broke my heart to see it again. His fingers sparked ominously and the bellow of agony that left his mouth came from deep in his chest. The entire Assjacket Community Center shook on its foundation and more applesauce, along with a dozen boxes of chocolate chip cookies, exploded.
“Talk to me,” I begged.
Zach’s entire body was filled with rage. His eyes blazed. They were feral and unseeing. I didn’t need to ask who the Queen was anymore. I remembered now. The piece of shit who’d bought him and tried to destroy him had occasionally referred to herself as the Queen. I supposed that I’d tried to block the past out. However, it all came roaring back.
Fabio stepped into the room and put his hand on his son’s shoulder. “Who is the Queen, Zach?”
Zach’s eyes closed and he growled like an animal. “The Queen is Henrietta Smith. The unholy bitch who bought me and cursed me to a living hell.”
“Fuck,” Fabio snarled and pivoted around. “They’re gone.”
“Who’s gone?” I asked, my eyes still on Zach.
“Mae Blockinschlokinberg and her nasty little mini-mes,” Bob shouted. “I didn’t even see them leave.”
“They’re slugs,” Sassy said, digging through the applesauce frantically just in case they had shifted and hidden. “They probably shifted and slithered out. Too bad applesauce isn’t salted. That would have shown them.”
“That’s why she knew our names,” I whispered, putting the horrifying puzzle pieces together. “Mae Blockinschlokinberg came here for revenge.”
“I’m sorry, what?” Roger asked, gently putting his hand on Zach to calm him.
“When did that woman and her people decide to come here? Did you seek her out?” I asked.
“We did not,” Bob said, shifting back to his human form. “She sent word through a homing pigeon that she was going to grace us with her presence.”
“Before or after Zorro was set to do the show?” I demanded.
“After,” Bob said, wringing his little hands. “You think they kidnapped Zorro?”
My eyes filled with tears and I nodded. “Or worse.” Zorro was the easiest of us to capture, because he was the most trusting. Plus, he fainted when in peril. He was clearly forced to write the note. How he was forced, I could barely bring myself to think about. He’d already been through hell in his life due to the horrifying beatings he’d taken from his pack for being gay and he was right back there now.
“Mac said they were staying in the woods on the outskirts of town,” Zach ground out, still on the edge of detonating. “Who knows the woods around Assjacket?”
“I do,” Fabio said. “Mac does as well. We can split into groups and find Zorro.”
“The trees can help as well. I can speak with them.” My level of fear and frustration almost strangled me. I would beat drums and dance naked in front of a whole stadium of man-titties if it meant getting my best friend back from Mae Blockinschlockinberg's evil clutches.
“My chipmunks know the woods too,” Sassy volunteered. “They’re not killers since they’re vegetarians, but my boys can kick some serious ass. I’ll call Jeeves and have him take our kids into the forest to search.”
“If they find them, tell them to secure Zorro’s safety,” Zach instructed tightly. “Mae Blockinschlokinberg is mine.”
“And mine,” I added.
Zach snapped back into reality and his eyes bored into mine. “Willow, this one is on me. It’s for all the people who aren’t here anymore. If Henrietta Smith has followers as it seems she does, it’s my responsibility to end them. I’ll like myself a whole hell of a lot if I put an end to this sadistic bullshit.”
I nodded. I understood. “Mae Blockinschlokinberg is all yours.”
“Thank you,” he whispered as he pulled me into his strong arms and kissed me like there would
