It was late afternoon, with the sun starting to lower in the side, before Hetta and Jackie popped up again like the whack-a-moles I couldn’t get rid of.
“Yes, ladies?” I asked, trying to contain my sarcasm. “Can I help you?”
“You really are bothered by something, aren’t you?” Hetta was watching me with those far-too-seeing eyes of hers, and Jackie had a shrewd intelligence about her that was easy to underestimate.
“He wants to mate claim me,” I muttered, torn between fighting to keep my private life private and wanting desperately to have someone help me sort through what was in my head. “After one night, he wants me as his stupid breeding mare. I thought…” My voice trailed off, struggling to put into words what I felt. “I thought I was more than that. Not some baby-making toy he picked up off the shelf.”
“Oh, Dana.” Hetta stopped and pulled me into a hug, wrapping her arms tightly around me. “You are so much more than that.”
I hated how insecure I felt, how I had gone from so confident and self-assured to a shadow of me. I didn’t get insecure over guys, I just didn’t. None of them were worth that much. But N’Ashtar was different, and that scared me on its own. I let out a long sigh and fought the urge to crouch low and hide from my problems.
I was an adult, I promise.
“Mate claiming has a spiritual meaning to them,” Hetta said softly, sitting cross-legged on the ground next to me and patting the sand. She didn’t even look at N’Ashtar and O’Rrin, who were paused maybe fifty or sixty feet away and watching us blatantly. At least they were out of earshot. “It’s his way of declaring how much he wants you, and how much you want him. It’s not marking you like a brood mare.”
“You didn’t see how he freaked the fuck out when you were kidnapped,” Jackie added, sitting on my other side. “He went nuts. Scales went gray, and he’d interrogate the scouts every day to see if anyone had any news of you.”
“And any time one of the women went up to him to try and comfort him, he pushed them away.”
I tried not to feel a sense of satisfaction at Hetta’s words, but I did. That’s right, I tried not to think savagely. He’s mine.
“I…” English was such a dumb language sometimes. So many words, yet sometimes they still weren’t enough.
“If he wanted a baby maker for a mate, there were several available,” Jackie pointed out.
A smile ghosted across my lips at the memory. He’d made that abundantly clear when we had first met, how surprised he had been that I hadn’t fallen at his feet, declaring him the best thing since sliced bread.
Not that they knew what sliced bread was here.
Hetta cleared her throat, suddenly looking nervous. Both Jackie and I were staring at her, and concern was rising. I didn’t like that look on her face. Was she in trouble? Was O’Rrin causing problems?
“Nothing like that,” Hetta said in a rush.
I blinked at her, then realized I must have said that out loud. Oops.
She cleared her throat again, her smile sheepish. “You might want to talk to him about birth control. I don’t think it’s a thing for the N’Akron, but…”
I stared at her, then stared some more. “You’re…”
“Yes.” Hetta glanced at Jackie, and I followed. Jackie didn’t look surprised, which meant she probably knew. Then again, they had just rescued me. But why had she not told me immediately?
I wilted a tiny bit at the thought. We weren’t true friends, not really. We were thrown together by fate, friends of circumstance. It would be a while longer before we became friends who shared more than just a set of tragic circumstances. “Congrats?”
Hetta’s smile was shyly proud. “Thank you.”
My attention turned to Jackie, the curiosity not just for Hetta’s sake. “Do we know anything about a N’Akron pregnancy?”
Jackie arched a far-too-knowing eyebrow at me, a half-smile on her lips. “We have an educated guess.”
I chuckled, hoping that would hide the flush on my cheeks. My Mom’s voice echoed in my ears, in my soul.
If you get pregnant, you’ve wasted all those years, Dana. All that time you spent in school, working yourself to the bone, just to throw it all away for a man. Don’t let them take you away from what you really want.
Too bad for my mother I didn’t really know what that was. This far away from home had been the closest I’d come to being able to figure it out, really. How sad was it, being [AGE] and only finally thinking about such things.
I ran a hand through my hair, offering Hetta and Jackie a faint smile that I hoped told them I was worn out from conversation. I needed time to process what we had talked about, to figure out how it would play into my life. Tucking my hands in my pockets, I stopped and turned around, trying to figure out where the water pouches had gotten stashed. Either way, getting a drink would help my parched throat and give me something to think about that wasn’t my eternal debate.
To my surprise, when I crouched down in front of the supply sled, Squire was next to me. His wrists were still bound, his creepily dark eyes calm, and he looked like he was simply out for a nice midday walk. “Are you okay?” I asked, stopping with a hand on a water pouch. It looked like we had maybe a quarter of our water left, which meant we’d need to stop soon, but if he needed some, I would give it to him.
“I am here to ask you that question,” Squire said easily. “You do not
