‘Just passing through, Chad. Thought I’d come and see if I could find my favourite pillar of the community.’
He booms with laughter and slaps me on the back. That’ll be a fractured spine and two broken ribs.
‘And I also came to see Joe. Is he here?’
He pauses. Am I being paranoid or does he look uncomfortable? What is it, is Joe’s wife in there or something?
‘Sure, baby. He’s inside. I’ll get someone to take you to him.’
He calls another bouncer, who is so tall he must have spent his childhood in a growbag. Leon, as he introduces himself, takes me through the crowd to a back staircase. As I climb up it, my legs are doing a good impersonation of strawberry jelly. Leon gestures to a blue door.
As I knock, my mind rewinds to the last time I knocked on Joe’s door, straight out of Scotland and so naive. Joe listened and took a chance on me. I just hope he’s as welcoming this time.
‘Come in,’ a voice calls out, but it’s not Joe’s.
I tentatively open the door and gasp. In front of me is a Nordic god: long blond hair, eyes like sapphires, cheekbones that could fell a tree. My libido flares and I mentally rein it in. Right reaction, wrong guy.
‘Can I help you?’ he asks in a thick Dutch accent.
I’m trying to think of a witty answer when I sense someone to my left. I turn to see Joe Cain, hands behind his head, feet up on the desk. He looks different – his head is completely shaven and he’s wearing a black net T-shirt and skintight suede jeans. He’s a cross between a Buddhist monk and a Tetley teabag. But he’s still seriously, seriously attractive. In a Yul Brynner kind of way.
I can see he’s stunned, but he recovers quickly. ‘Well, well, well, if it isn’t the prodigal girlfriend,’ he laughs.
This is good – humour, no anger, no outrage, just a tiny touch of bitterness. I can deal with bitter. After all, I didn’t expect a ‘Welcome Home’ banner and a marching band.
‘Looking for another job?’ he asks, a cheeky glint in his eyes now.
I’m desperately trying to come up with a witty reply when there’s the sound of someone clearing his throat – I’d forgotten all about Hagar, the Norse god.
‘Cooper, this is Claus, my partner. Claus, meet Carly Cooper, disappearing act extraordinaire.’
‘Ah, Miss Cooper,’ he says, as though everything is suddenly making sense. ‘I’ve heard a lot about you.’ I have the feeling that it wasn’t glowing testimonies to my virtues as a human being.
‘So what brings you here then?’ Joe asks.
I’m still trying to play cool and collected. ‘I was in the city and wanted to look you up. Can we go somewhere and talk?’
‘I’m not sure. Every time you go to the toilet, I’ll expect you not to return.’
‘You can tie a piece of string to my ankle.’
He smiles. He seems to be defrosting. Maybe this isn’t going to be so bad after all. I just need to make sure I keep him away from sharp objects.
I turn to say goodbye to Claus and he grunts a response. Is it my imagination or does he look like he wants to scratch my eyes out with a pickaxe?
We go to an Italian restaurant across the road from the club, where Joe orders two glasses of wine and some garlic bread. Obviously there’ll be no snogging tonight then. There’s an awkward silence as he stares at me. He’s not going to make this easy.
I take a deep breath, hold my nose and jump in. ‘I don’t suppose “Sorry” will make a huge difference now?’ I mumble hopefully.
He’s quiet for a moment, then, ‘No, but maybe an explanation will help.’
I was kidnapped and sold into white slavery? I bumped my head and suffered complete amnesia? There’s a hint of sadness in his voice and it ramps my guilt up even further.
I go with the truth – I was confused and got cold feet, then bottled out like a heartless coward. That just about covered it.
‘I came looking for you, you know,’ he says.
Now I’m even more confused. ‘What? When?’
‘About six months later. I remembered the name of the area you came from, so I went there, asked around and discovered you were working in a nightclub.’
‘Why didn’t you contact me?’ If a feather hits me, I’ll be on the floor.
‘I came to the club and I saw you there, but you were rushing around like crazy. At the end of the night, I came to talk to you, but you were in a tongue lock with a huge blond guy. I decided it would be a better idea to leave quietly.’
He looks so dejected. Oh, give me a bolt of lightning! I am the most horrible person to walk this earth. I’ve no right to be here. No right to be dragging all this up again. Haven’t I done enough damage?
‘Joe, I am so sorry. I’ll get out of your way.’ I get up to leave, to look for a sewer to crawl into. He grabs my arm and pulls me back down.
‘You’re not getting off that easily, Cooper. I want to know what you’ve been doing since then. I want to know everything that happened to stop you coming back to me.’
I see Carol in my head saying, ‘In for a penny, in for two pounds fifty.’
‘How long have you got?’
He looks at his watch. ‘About, oh, a week. I’ve got a feeling I should make myself comfortable.’
I admit that for a split second I consider being economical with the truth. But what’s the point? The look on his face says that he’s not exactly over the moon, but I don’t think he’s ready to have me tortured and mutilated either. No, he deserves the truth, so I tell him everything that happened up until I quit my life in
