She raised me better than that.
How many times am I going to be the reason for her heartache?
I wipe the tears on the back of my arm and swallow over the growing lump, making it nearly impossible to breathe. “I’m sorry,” I cry, feeling the weight of the world drop down over me. “I should have—”
“Yeah,” she says, ever so slightly nodding her head. “You should have.”
And just like that, her already falling tears shoot from her eyes like a waterfall, completely devastated and crushed. Unable to even face me, she walks away without another word, taking every little piece of hope along with her.
I listen for the soft click of her bedroom door and hear as she collapses into her bed and cries into her pillow, knowing all too well that her tears are filled with guilt for not having paid enough attention and the self-doubt for being too busy with work.
The need to go in there and comfort her rocks through me but I just can’t. I can’t face her knowing that I betrayed her trust. She counted on me to always be honest with her and I held back something so big, something that changed my world and turned me into this dark person that I've become. She could have saved me from that, she could have made it all better and I robbed her of that chance.
My eyes begin to sting with the constant tears but I can’t make them stop.
I need to go to her and I don’t doubt that she’s feeling that same need with me, but neither of us is making the move, neither of us strong enough to face what we’ve neglected.
My phone chimes on my bedside table and I reach for it while wiping my tears on the back of my sleeve, feeling the ache of my raw skin as I drag the material across it.
I unlock my phone and read over the words, feeling my soul somehow shatter even more.
Nic - I guess your boy isn’t as clean-cut as he’s been making himself out to be. Marco DeCarlo was just found dead in his kitchen. One bullet through the chin, just like your friend. Maybe that bastard has a pair of balls after all.
No.
Chapter 29
I don’t remember the walk from the pool house to the Carrington mansion but one second I’m sitting in my bed, reading over Nic’s text for the fifth time, hoping that my sore eyes are deceiving me and the next thing I know, I’m searching through Colton’s mansion, desperately seeking him out.
I know he didn’t just kill a man. He couldn’t have. That’s not who we are. Sure, we did some fucked up things and the whole Jude situation was fifty shades of messed up, but Colton was there when I was about to slaughter Jude and he stopped me. Colton saved me from myself, saved me from endless amounts of guilt because that's not who we are.
We’re better than that.
We’re not cold-blooded murderers but the evidence pointing toward Colton is just too much to deny. He was coming after each of the DeCarlo brothers, he vowed that much and then promised to go after Vincent.
He said that he was putting them in prison. He said nothing about putting them in the ground.
Colton couldn’t have done this. Please, someone, tell me that this is some kind of horrible coincidence. Colton isn’t a killer. He's an amazing guy with a big heart. He’s the guy that I've maybe fallen in love with. I couldn’t have fallen for another killer. I just can’t. That can’t be my life.
I only just escaped guys like Nic who think the world revolves around them and the bullets in their guns. Colton isn’t like that. I know him. I refuse to believe it. He's cold and calculating, but he’s no murderer.
Although, I never imagined that he’d be the kind of guy to lock a rapist in a cramped little dungeon and use him as his personal punching bag, just waiting for him to slowly rot and die. Then again, I never thought I had it in me to slit a man’s throat but standing in that dungeon with Jude on his knees, I would have done it without hesitation.
Maybe Colton is a monster. Maybe this is all some sort of act and he’s just like Nic. Just like the Widows and everything I was trying to escape.
What’s he going to do when he realizes that I know his little secret? Will he lock me up? Will all the tables turn on me and I’ll suddenly become the victim?
I should have listened to Nic in the first place. He's never liked Colton. Maybe someone like Nic can sense that darkness in another. Maybe he knew I've been walking into a trap this whole time.
I always knew Colton was going to break me. I just never expected it to be like this. I thought he was good. I thought he was the light that I’ve always been missing.
My feet take me flying through the mansion. I peer into every room, desperate to find him, desperate for answers, knowing this must be some sick misunderstanding. He couldn’t have done it. Sure, finding Marco dead isn’t surprising, but Colton being the one to shoot him?
I just … fuck. He’d totally do it if it meant avenging Maryne.
I throw open his office door and scan the room before quickly moving on. Where the fuck is he? I fly past the internal garage door and look
