With red cheeks and a smile, she looked over at me. “Thank you. I didn’t realize how badly I needed to relive it. To know he might not ever race again, it doesn’t change us. Just because racing brought us together, doesn’t mean it’s all we have.” Her eyes moved to him. “I’d do anything for him, and for our daughter.”
I knew exactly what she meant.
Her eyes moved back to Caden. “I never planned this life. I met Caden, and you can’t ignore him.” She paused, a smile on her face. “He was unlike anyone else I’d ever met, and I remember thinking, you’re a race car driver? How do you make a living doing that? And then he showed me what his life was like and I fell hard.”
I thought about the first time I saw Rager. Or rather, knew I would never be the same. Thirteen years old at Summer Nationals. He’d sparked something inside me I couldn’t ignore, as most adrenaline-addicted men do to girls. There was something about the way they pushed themselves to the edge of sanity that stuck with you and made you say, that one, he’s something special. And they were.
Bobble – A miscue by a driver.
“Is he awake?”
I nodded, breathing in slow and deep. “Yes. Kinsley is in there with him now, along with the doctor.”
“Does he know?”
I raised an eyebrow at Casten, who just flew into town to check on the guys. He could have easily called, but that wouldn’t have been my brother if he did that. “He does. He tried to move his legs and couldn’t. He cried.”
“Fuck.” Casten ran his hand through his hair. “This sucks.”
“It’s so sad seeing this side of it,” I cried, wiping tears from my eyes again. I didn’t think I’d cried this much in my entire life, but in the week that we’d been here, I did every day to the point I ended each day with a massive headache and tequila. “We’ve seen death, and retirement, but never a career ending because of something like this. I mean, Jesus Christ, he was leading the points, on his way to a World of Outlaws championship at eighteen, and now it’s over for him.”
“Okay, stop it.” Casten cleared his throat, his jaw clenching. “You’re gonna make me cry.”
I laughed, rubbing my eyes with a tissue. “Welcome to my world.”
“How’s Rager?”
“Upset. And I still haven’t told him about Caden.”
“Did he ask?”
“Yes. He wrote a note asking.”
“And you said?”
“Told him he was injured but we didn’t know the extent yet.”
“Lying to the bad boy.” Casten blew out a whistled breath, as if to say I was in trouble. “Are they taking his tube out today?”
I nodded. “Yeah, in about an hour I think.”
Casten bumped my shoulder with his. “You okay?”
“After Ryder died, you said you’d never race again. So why’d you come back to racing?”
“When I walked away, I thought I was doing the right thing. I was scared. And fear and racing do not go hand and hand. But as I got older, the pull to race was stronger. My life wouldn’t be complete without this. It’s in my blood. When I’m behind the wheel, that’s the only time in my life I truly feel alive.”
I searched his eyes for an answer. “Are you scared?”
His lashes fluttered. “I don’t go out there thinking I’m immortal, if that’s what you’re asking. There’s no place for fear out there. That’s when it’s dangerous. That’s when you walk away.”
Would Rager walk away after this? Would he want to race? I hadn’t considered that, until now. I automatically assumed he’d want to continue, but fear would definitely play a factor in all this.
I ended up leaving Casten with Kinsley after that and checked on Rager. By the time I got up to his room, they had already removed the tube. He was in bed, staring at the wall as they did some breathing treatments with him. His lung had recovered really well, and the only lasting dilemma was his broken ribs that made moving around hard.
I waited until the doctors were finished before I went over to him. He breathed in, short and quick and then turned his head to mine. “Where are the kids?”
“They’re with my mom at the hotel. I was going to bring them by tonight to see you.”
He lifted his head in a tight nod and then grunted and shifted in the bed.
“Does your head hurt?”
He swallowed, and I was sure it was painful having the tube in his throat for so long. “My neck is just sore.”
“Probably to be expected.”
“What happened?”
My face paled. I didn’t want to tell him like this, but I also feared him finding out from someone else and being angry that I hadn’t told him. “Caden flipped, somehow. We still don’t know why or what happened, but from what Axel saw, he thought he tagged the wall and cut a tire.” I watched Rager’s face closely, fearing at any minute it’d be too much for him to hear this. He kept his expression vague. “You didn’t see him or didn’t have enough time to react and hit him on the top of his roll cage.”
Another quick breath in and he finally asked, “Is he okay?”
“He’s alive….” My voice trailed off, anticipating his next question.
His stare remained intent on mine. “You know what I mean.”
I licked my lips, my eyes intent on his. “He had a skull fracture, broke his neck at C7, but his back… he’s broke pretty badly in his chest and damaged his spinal cord. As of now, until the swelling goes down and they can see the extent of the damage… he’s paralyzed from the waist down.”
I
