She needed to get back some control of where her life was heading. But it wasn’t just going to come to her, was it? She needed to fight for herself, for that hopeful future.
It stung to know that Asa wouldn’t be a part of that future, but Carmen tried not to dwell on it too much. Because if she did, all she’d feel was guilt and a tugging at her heartstrings that she wasn’t able to understand.
A loud bang from the kitchen snapped Carmen out of her reverie, and she sighed from where she was lying sprawled out lazily on the sofa.
“Try not to break everything in there!” Carmen called out, shaking her head and reaching forward to grab the TV remote. Her father had to get a new one because she’d chucked and broken the older remote at the wall next to Hunter’s head after Thanksgiving.
“The things in the kitchen just never cooperate with me!” Hunter yelled back, sounding aggravated.
“That’s probably because you’ve never let yourself be acquainted with the kitchen!” Carmen flicked through the channels, all of them playing some sort of New Year’s special movie.
The smell of popcorn wafted over to where Carmen was, and she looked up just as Hunter kicked her legs off the couch to make room for himself, holding a large glass bowl in his hands.
“It’s not my fault my father has a whole army of helpers to take care of everything in the house,” Hunter said, seating himself next to Carmen as she herself got into a sitting position and crossed her legs on the couch. “They look at me like I’m a nuisance every time I try stepping into the kitchen.”
“Yes, it must be terrible to have someone do everything for you.” Carmen laughed lightly, digging into the popcorn and grabbing a handful.
Hunter was quiet for a while before he responded, “When you have enough people who you’ve never seen before come and go…well, home just stops feeling like home, you know? It’s as if—as if I’m the outsider there, if that makes sense.”
Carmen offered him a soft smile. “It makes perfect sense.”
Hunter was about to smile back, but then he just rolled his eyes and leant back into the cushions. “Yeah, yeah, that’s more than my dose of deep conversation for one night.” He snatched the remote from her grasp and began looking for something good to watch.
She sighed and reached for another handful of popcorn, wondering if her father was having a pleasant enough time at his colleague’s New Year’s Eve dinner party. They’d both planned to go together, but Carmen had had a change of mind at the last minute, suddenly craving to just stay back home and take a break from the outside world.
Her dad had offered to stay back too, but it wouldn’t have been the best thing for the two of them to cancel at the last minute, and besides, this was the first time Carmen could remember her father actually feeling ready to mingle with a group of people so she had wanted him to go. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t with her right then. It meant more than she could ever say that he was actually willing to stay back and spend the night with her. It was more effort than she’d ever seen from his side in a really long while.
“There’s nothing good going on,” Hunter muttered, tossing the remote onto the coffee table in front of the couch. “We should just binge-watch Daredevil like I suggested.”
“I’m not into TV shows.” Carmen frowned, speaking through a mouthful of popcorn and earning a disgusted look from Hunter which she just ignored.
“You’ll like this one, trust me,” he told her and then suddenly knitted his eyebrows together as if something occurred to him just then. “You know, whenever I watch it, the dude sort of reminds me of San Román.”
“Asa,” Carmen corrected, feeling that tug at her heartstrings again. “He hates being called by his surname.”
Hunter grinned. “I know.”
Carmen averted her gaze, focusing on filling her palms with another helping of popcorn. “Why, uh, why does watching it remind you of him?”
“Don’t know.” He shrugged. “Must be the whole saviour thing. Dude can’t turn a blind eye to injustice, can he?” And then Hunter’s expression darkened. “Perfect little Asa.”
Silence fell over them and Carmen’s hand froze, before she inhaled deeply and let the popcorn fall back into the bowl.
“Don’t do that,” she muttered, looking Hunter directly in the eyes.
“What?” His blank stare was fixed on the television screen, but Carmen could tell he wasn’t paying attention to what was playing.
“Belittle him that way,” she said, her voice firm. “Mock him. Don’t do that. He’s got his flaws too. He’s aggressive and he can be a hothead sometimes. He tends to let hate get to him a lot, likes to speak with his fists whenever he can, but at the end of the day, his heart is always in the right place. And that doesn’t make him perfect. It just makes him a better person than either one of us.”
At the last part, Hunter’s gaze fell on her and something in them softened. “Don’t lower yourself to the same level as me,” he said quietly. “You made a bad choice in telling him you were in love with him when you weren’t and letting him believe that you were ready for a relationship, but that doesn’t make you anything like me, Carmen. Don’t let yourself think like that.”
Carmen just stared back at him before dropping her eyes and grabbing some popcorn. “Yeah, well, he hates you, and now he hates me too. We’re on the same level in his eyes.”
“I’m sorry,” Hunter said
