That seemed to soften Carmen’s posture, and her lips actually curved into a faint smile that was directed at Wyatt.
“Don’t worry.” She waved it off. “I know there was no real heat behind it.”
“Hmm.” Wyatt’s eyes narrowed in speculation. “Maybe you’re not so bad.”
Carmen sighed, and her shoulders fell from the defensive stance. “Who are you dropping off first?” she asked Asa.
“Wyatt,” he replied. “His house would come up before yours.”
“I bet.” Wyatt smirked at Asa, a knowing glint in his eyes.
Asa flushed and discreetly flipped him off when Carmen wasn’t looking.
“All right then,” she muttered, “You can ride shotgun. I’ll just move over once we’ve dropped you off.”
“She’s very sensible, this one,” Wyatt remarked, looking more amused by the second. “I approve.”
“Wyatt, please, please shut your mouth, okay? For me?” Asa requested.
The wicked grin didn’t vanish from Wyatt’s face but he nodded anyway. “Cute, San Román. I’ll bug you about this later, and you know me. I’m a man of my word.”
Great, Asa thought.
Carmen waited for Wyatt to get into the truck and close the door before turning to Asa, “He was teasing you about me, wasn’t he?”
Asa’s cheeks burned, and he never wanted to punch Wyatt more than he did right then. “He was right. You are a smartass. Now get in.”
She turned around to get into the back seat, but not before Asa saw her trying to fight off the smile on her face.
And that made a smile of his own appear.
•••
“He’s actually pretty friendly, you know,” Asa told Carmen once he’d dropped Wyatt off, and she was back to being seated next to him, right where she fitted perfectly. “He’s pretty chill and really hard to anger, but once someone does manage to piss him off, then it’s even harder to get him to calm down. Really unfortunate timing that you had to meet him when he was pissed.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll take your word for it,” she answered, and even with his eyes on the road, Asa could hear the smile in her voice.
This was nice. Really nice. God, he missed this.
“Hey, Carmen?” His tone was light, airy. But his heart was doing all sorts of cartwheels inside his ribcage.
“Mmmm?”
“Don’t ever push me away again, okay? Or go on avoiding me for days because now that we’re doing this again” —he gestured around the truck, referring to them going back from school together after a long while— “it feels insane to think that I missed a couple of days spending this kind of one-on-one time with you.”
“I won’t,” she promised, her voice quiet even though it was just the two of them in the vehicle. “And please don’t let me push you away either. Don’t let me walk away, because knowing me, I’m very liable to do so.”
“I promise,” he said softly, and then used his free hand to grab one of hers. “I’ll hold on,” —he kissed the back of her hand,— “even when you’re pulling away.”
“Good,” she murmured, and Asa could hear the faint smile in her voice again.
The remaining duration of the ride passed by in a comfortable silence, with Carmen’s hand in his and nothing but the sound of her breathing filling Asa’s ears.
I love you.
He wanted to say it again; the words were skipping along the tip of his tongue, playing too close to the edge, ready to fall over and come tumbling out of his mouth.
I love you. I love you. I am so goddamn in love with you.
But Asa swallowed back the words, forced it down his throat, and crammed them into a box that he then sealed and didn’t dare touch until it was okay for him to say them to her. If that time ever came.
The truck came to a slow stop right outside her house but as usual, Carmen didn’t make a move to leave the vehicle right away.
It was another one of the little things Asa had grown to love about her: the way she wasn’t afraid to show she preferred spending time with him. Even the stolen moments such as this, where she needed to get home and he needed to go home too but instead made time for each other.
I love you.
Carmen’s grip on his hand suddenly tightened, and Asa’s heart jumped to his throat in fear that he actually said the words out loud. He relaxed once he realised he hadn’t.
“Asa.” Her voice sounded choked, and it made him turn towards her in mild alarm.
“Sí?”
A ghost of a smile graced her lips at his response, but her expression turned serious within a heartbeat. “I need to say something, okay?”
His stomach jolted uneasily. “Okay.” He forced a smile.
“All right, so.” Carmen cleared her throat and twisted her body around so that she was completely facing Asa, her left side pressing into the back of the seat. “When I—Those things I said back in the art room. When I accused you of dumping the fact you’re—that you—” There was a sound of pure frustration from the back of Carmen’s throat, and it startled Asa. “When you admitted what the extent of your feelings for me were, I questioned it not because I doubt you, Asa, but because I doubt myself.”
“What do you mean?” he asked gently.
“I mean that if you’d told me you were in love with someone, I’d have known that you meant it. Really meant it.” There was a pause, and Asa noticed Carmen’s breathing was a little louder and rushed. “But when you said you felt that way about
