All the air was knocked out of Asa’s lungs as her words hit him in the chest like a ton of bricks, and Willa’s spoon fell from her hand, landing on the table with a clatter, and her eyes widened with shock and discomfort.
“That wasn’t a very nice thing to say,” Joyce mumbled under her breath, but since silence had fallen among their table, her words were audible enough for everyone to hear.
“The truth stings. Deal with it.” Lottie shrugged again.
“Lottie!” Carmen hissed, and Asa felt her tense beside him.
“What?” she asked innocently. “I mean, come on. The only reason he notices you is because you’re not one of the girls who swoon over him! But the minute you start paying him attention and he’s won you over, he’ll drop you like a used tissue paper.”
He could shake this off like he would have done once not long ago. Asa could let this roll off his back and sweep it under the rug. But he’d had enough. This time, he wanted to fight back.
Folding his arms across his chest, and leaning back in his chair, he narrowed his eyes and stared down at Lottie. “And how do you know that?”
Lottie blinked once. Then again. It was obvious she wasn’t used to her judgements being questioned.
“What?” She frowned, darting a look at Joyce and Willa before landing her eyes back on him.
“All that you just said,” he said, chin raised, voice hard. “You seem to know me like the back of your hand. How is that?”
Lottie’s brows pulled together, the skin on her forehead creasing as she squinted at Asa. “Because… well, it’s obvious” —she threw her hands in the air— “all you jocks are the same.”
Asa nodded seriously, as if he was genuinely taking her words into consideration. “All right, all right.” He unfolded his arms and placed them on the tabletop, intertwining his fingers together and leaning towards Lottie. “See, I may be good with words but numbers are never my strong point. So I can’t tell you exactly how many jocks there are in this state alone. But I’m guessing you’re smart enough to know that there are probably a couple thousand. So tell me, Lottie, are you saying you’ve crossed paths with every single one of those jocks? Is that what you’re telling me? I mean, if you can be so sure of labelling and stereotyping every single school athlete, then you must know what you’re talking about, right?”
He felt a warm hand touch his knee under the table, and he found himself appreciating Carmen’s silent support more than he thought he would.
Willa laughed weakly in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere. “Oh come on, Asa. Take a joke. Lottie’s just messing with you, I’m sure.”
Asa’s stare shifted to Willa, his eyes hardening at the edges. “A joke is supposed to be funny. Provoke laughter. Cause amusement. For both parties. I suggest looking up the dictionary sometimes. Because Carmen doesn’t find it funny, Joyce doesn’t find it funny, and I certainly don’t think it’s amusing that she took it upon herself to judge my intentions with Carmen.”
“I didn’t—”
“And you’re the last person who gets to justify what she said,” he cut her off. “Not after the way you treated me. And Isla. I get that you’ve had a difficult past, but use that pain to empathise, not attack.”
“That was a low blow, bringing up my past like that.” Willa glared at him, her face twisted into a grimace.
Asa smiled at her coldly, completely unapologetic. “Come on, Willa,” he mimicked her own words. “Take a joke. I was just messing with you.” This time, Carmen’s hand squeezed his knee gently and he didn’t know if she was reassuring him or if she was asking him to put an end to this right now. He figured it was most probably the latter.
So he took in a deep breath, reminded himself that these were still Carmen’s friends—friends of the girl he was in love with—and let it go.
“I’m going to get my stuff for next period from my locker,” he told Carmen, turning his face towards her. His eyes softened when they landed on the familiar pair of grey eyes.
“There’s still twenty minutes of lunch left,” she pointed out, but her voice sounded small even to his ears.
“I’ll find something to do, don’t worry.” He waved it off, not wanting her to take what had just transpired to heart. Asa knew she had enough on her plate already as it was. This unnecessary drama was definitely something she didn’t need.
“But you haven’t even eaten properly.” Carmen gestured towards his tray, the dismay still evident in her voice.
“Lost my appetite.” He shrugged, pushing his chair back and rising out of his seat.
As he walked past her, he let his fingers graze the back of her neck and shoulders in an attempt to say that it was okay. That they were okay.
Just as he reached the doors of the cafeteria, he stopped in his tracks and turned around to spare her a glance, only to find her eyes already on him. The gentle nod of her head and soft smile on her face told him that she’d understood what he’d tried to say without words. And that yes, they were indeed okay.
I love you.
Even standing a good distance away from her, those three words were still aching to be released in a scream for the world to hear. But Asa just closed his eyes for a brief second. He inhaled deeply, shook the words off and then walked away.
•••
It was just after the final bell had rung and when the students were flooding into the hallways from every single classroom that Asa saw Hunter again. Normally, he’d have turned away. Asa would have thanked his lucky stars that Hunter hadn’t
