“Hi, sweetheart. Have a good night?”
“It was fun,” I breathed, noncommittally, sliding into the chair across from her. Visions of Kyler’s nightmare hung at the edges of my vision. “Mom, you got a second?”
“For you? Always.” She slid a chair closer to her, patting the leather-cushioned seat with her hand. “I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve chatted.”
I slid into the chair and smiled at her. “When I was young, I remember you used to have nightmares.” I didn’t know how I should approach any of it, so I just blurted out my question. “What happened?”
My mother’s eyes nailed mine, her hands gripping her coffee mug tighter. “What made you think of that?” she asked, casting her eyes directly at me.
I shrugged. “I didn’t sleep well last night, the memory crossed my mind,” I lied, watching as my mother played with the rim of the mug, a pink one with bright red glitter letters declaring she was the best mom in the world.
My mom always fidgeted when she was nervous, and right now she was on high alert. Her feet tapping, adjusting herself, swaying slightly back and forth in her chair. I knew she wanted to avoid the question, but I also knew she wouldn’t. One thing about my mother, she never avoided a direct question. It was almost as if she wasn’t capable of it.
“Well,” she sighed, standing and moving to the sink where she filled a teapot and turned on the burner. “I’m not sure this is a conversation I’ll ever be ready for, but you’re old enough now to hear it. It’s long, Maddy, and complicated.”
I nodded softly, her eyes searching my face as if wondering if I was truly ready to hear what she was about to say.
“In college there were five of us. Your dad, Monica and Edward, Edward’s best friend Pierce Black, and me. We were like the musketeers, always together. Monica and Edward weren’t married yet, but she was pregnant with Kyler and so miserable. That’s why we went to the party that night--normally I wouldn’t go, those frat scenes were never my thing. A bunch of moronic boys trying to act like big men. I was with your dad then. We were more than seriously dating. We were so in love. Your father normally came to these things with me, but he was at an away game. He needed to play football to maintain his scholarship. Things were never easy for those of us that didn’t have money like Monica and Edward.”
She paused, wiping at wetness in her eyes as she stood at the teapot.
“I should have stayed in, but Monica was desperate to get out and feel like a college kid. She’d been so miserable most of the pregnancy, between morning sickness that lasted all day and night and the pressure from Edward’s parents to get married. They just wouldn’t allow a Sinclair baby to be born out of wedlock. That family has such antiquated notions about family legacy and inheritance. I think she resented it, and just wanted an excuse to forget all of it for a night. So we went to the frat party. The three of us had had a few drinks and Monica agreed to be the designated driver, but then she and Edward got in a fight, so she took off for a walk and he went after her. I stayed for a while.”
The teapot whistled and she poured two steaming teacups for us both before delivering them to the table with honey.
“I should have stayed, but the longer I waited the more it looked like they weren’t coming back any time soon, so when Pierce offered me a drive home I said yes.”
“Pierce Black? Didn’t his family create this town?”
“Yes.” She nodded her head. “They are very powerful and very wealthy. I’d known him for so long, I didn’t think anything of it, but…” She shook her head, stirring honey into her tea, mesmerized. “He didn’t take me home.”
“W-where did he take you?”
The longer she failed to reply, the louder the heartbeats hammering my chest.
“Mom?” The word was barely a gasp. “Where did he take you?”
A runaway train of emotion blurred my vision. I couldn’t see anything, could only hear the blaring nuisance pounding of my heart as she cleared her voice and said, “He took me to an industrial area that his family owned, completely secluded other than a few abandoned buildings.” She swallowed. “He raped me.”
The world slammed to a halt. I couldn't think, could only add up the timelines in my head. “Is that why you and dad moved away?”
She nodded. “I couldn’t bring myself to confront any of it, even the familiar faces in the hallways, wondering if they knew...it was too much. I was so much happier when it was just your dad and me. We had love. That’s all we ever needed. It was a while after that we got married. I went to therapy and found a way to let go of the pain of what’d happened to me, and we lived happily-ever-after.” Tears shone in her eyes as she sipped from her tea. “Being sexually assaulted leaves a scar that’s not easily healed; it took me years to feel right again. And not all victims survive. Volunteering at women’s shelters and being an activist for those that struggle to find their voice has helped me heal, but sometimes the scar runs too deep.”
I swallowed the pain in my throat, thankful for the warm cup of tea in my hands to soothe away the decades of pain I wanted to cry for the suffering my mom had endured. One night, and her life changed in the blink of an eye. I’d always been so proud of the strong woman she was, but knowing she’d been forged in fire made me love her more fiercely than I knew was possible.
“Mom,” I stood, barely controlling the tears, “I’m so sorry that happened to you. So
