“I understand that life has dealt you a terrible hand,” I say, closing my hands into fists to keep from touching her. As much as I want to draw her into my arms, to rub her back, that would be for me and not her. I need to learn what she needs, and right now, I have no real clue, but I do understand what she doesn’t need.
“Yes, ain’t that the fucking truth.”
“And it’s all right for you to cry,” I continue.
“Cry? Why the fuck would I cry?” Ava asks, and she looks genuinely surprised by the idea.
“You haven’t ever had anyone in your corner, have you? No one to fight for you, no one to help you. You’ve done everything all alone—”
“Well, there was one girl who helped me. She left the window open so I could hear the lessons from her teacher for a few years. And there was a restaurant owner who would ask me to fix this or that around his place, to redecorate it, to do little odds and ends in exchange for food. It wasn’t the best of places. I mean, I saw a few rats—”
“For the most part, you were alone. You had to fight for everything. Not all battles are fought alone, but you survived, and you became so very smart. It’s insane to think about what you’ve accomplished despite the world being against you. You kept on fighting, and you never gave up, and honestly, Ava, you inspire me. You…”
She tilts her head to the side. “Are you getting choked up?”
“Is that not manly?” I grumble, purposely deepening my voice. “I can be manly.”
A tear does trickle down my cheek.
Ava sucks in a breath and exhales it slowly. “You have too much of your mom in you,” she grumbles. “You talk too much.”
“You prefer to be a doer, more like my dad. I can respect that. I just wish you didn’t feel like you have to do everything alone. How can I help?”
“I don’t—”
“I’m not insinuating that you need help. Just that I want to help. There’s a difference, Ava.”
She grimaces. “Your mom taught you to mean what you say and say what you mean, didn’t she?”
"Yes, actually! That's a common saying? I didn't realize. All this time, I thought she was really wise and came up with it herself. Wow." I chuckle to myself. "You think you know someone."
Ava bites her lower lip. “I can’t believe you cried.”
“One tear isn’t crying,” I protest.
“A big, strong, muscular alien crying because a girl had a hard life. Wow. What is the universe coming too?”
“You’re mocking me. That’s so nice,” I say sarcastically.
“I just can’t believe that you were crying.”
“Again, one tear—”
“You don’t even know me,” she continues.
“How much more do you need to share with me before you can stop sharing that?” I ask gently.
She bites her lower lip. “I… I don’t know.”
“Do you want me to track down that asshole who did you wrong?”
“And just what do you plan on doing to him?” she asks dryly.
“I’ll put him in his place.”
“And just what is his place?”
"Wrapped up like a pretzel. Balls chopped off. Maybe then rammed down his throat. Something like that."
“You’re violent, you know that? Or is that just you trying to seem macho after that crying jag?”
I open my mouth, but she’s grinning. She’s teasing me. Finally, she’s softening up around me.
“I really meant every word I said,” I murmur. “You inspire and amaze me. You mean a lot to me. That you could overcome all of that crap… You deserve everything in life, and I want to help make that a reality.”
“I don’t need—”
“I know you don’t need me. I get that. I still want to help you. Is that so wrong?”
“I… No. It’s not wrong.”
“Then let me help you,” I plead. “You want your device sold?”
“I don’t want to talk about the device right now.”
“Then what do you want to talk about?”
She hesitates. “You think that the world is a place where there’s wonder. You want to explore and see the good in it.”
“Are you trying to make me sound naïve?” I grumble.
"No. I'm envious. I wish… I became jaded because I needed to. Rix, that guy, when he did all that… I was fifteen. He was nineteen. I thought he cared about me, but he just wanted whatever he could get from me. He was a punk, a goon, and I have a feeling he's probably taken advantage of others both before and after me. Maybe hunting him down would be cathartic, but I don’t want to ever see him again.”
"Then, you know what?" I glance around and dash over to claim a stick. I rip off the bottom of my shorts and tie it around the stick. "Come on."
After handing her the stick, I bring her back over to the fire.
“Burn it, and pretend you’re burning him. It’ll help you to move past him.”
“This sounds like something your mom would’ve thought of,” she asks suspiciously.
“Nope. This is all me. Do you think it’ll help?”
“There’s only one way to find out.” She tosses the stick into the flames. The fire licks at it, the cloth almost looking like hair more than the clothes I intended it to serve as. “Fuck you, Paul. Fuck you and the horse you rode on.”
“Better?” I ask.
“Not quite.”
14
Ava
I can’t believe what Rix is doing for me. I do feel a little better burning the fake Paul, but more than anything, I’m so very confused. My feelings for Rix… I can’t deny it. Talking to him like this has made me feel closer to him, and that frightens me. Given my past, I just don’t let people in.
He’s human. An alien, yes, but he’s not all that different from me… or from Paul. Maybe he is, though. He seems genuine, and that speech, that tear… There
