Are they oblivious to me? Do they think that someone like me can't possibly be with someone like him? Or do they all think he's just a massive horndog and will want threesomes or orgies? I am not for that at all. I mean, the most I've done is kissing a few times, and once, I had a hand up my shirt. That's it.
But that doesn't mean that I haven't tried to orgasm. That's the keyword. Tried. I've fingered myself, but I've never been able to make myself come. I think not having a house makes it harder for me to get in the mood for one thing. I'm worried someone will see even though most normal people who aren't Rix don't bother to head toward my place, so it's not like anyone would be watching. Still, just the thought of that made me too anxious. Plus, I don't know what to do. I'm clueless.
And Rix isn't a virgin, so he knows what he's doing. My inexperience will—
What the hell. Why am I thinking about us having sex? I need to slow down, not just with the drinks but with my thoughts. I need to cool it, and maybe I need a cold shower too.
Maybe I can take him over to the pond. We can swim, have fun, maybe use some soap, wash each other…
Fuck. I’m doing it again. I mean, yeah, we talked a little, and we might have connected some, but still. I don’t really know him.
Do I want to get to know him?
I think I might.
I mean, why else am I so uncomfortable with all of the attention he's getting from the women in this place? I mean, shit. There are at least ten women in here for every guy, if not fifteen. It's disgusting.
“Do you want dessert?” the bartender asks as he collects our plates.
Rix shrugs. “What do you have?”
“Oh, I can recommend something for dessert,” a redhead says, draping an arm around Rix’s back.
He jerks his shoulders so that her arm falls off. “I’m talking to the bartender.”
“Beat it, Candace,” the bartender says.
The redhead flips him the bird and stalks off.
“Sorry. She’s like a damn vulture,” the bartender says.
“They all are,” I grumble.
The bartender chuckles. “Yeah, well, they like the novelty. I don’t see why they think they can get between the two of you, the way you two keep undressing each other with your eyes, so I completely understand if you just want to jet out of here.”
“What?” I blurt out. “I wasn’t. You weren’t—”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Rix protests, but his face is turning a little purple, and I burst out laughing.
His face is purple.
He’s blushing.
Red and blue make purple.
He’s embarrassed, and he’s lying, and he really doesn’t have a poker face.
Which means that speech earlier really did come from the heart.
That gets me to stop laughing, and I blink a few times. “Um, maybe no dessert.”
“I can pay,” Rix says. He pulls out his wallet and hands the bartender a bill. A fifty.
“It’s a little more,” the bartender says a little sheepishly.
“This enough?” Rix asks. He adds a twenty.
“Yep. Give me a minute or two, and I’ll come back with your change.”
“You can keep it.”
“Are you sure? That’s a nice tip. I mean, I’m not complaining, but I don’t want to take advantage—”
“You were great. Don’t you tip based on service?” Rix asks.
“Yes.”
“Well, then, keep the nice tip.” Rix grins and helps me down from the high bar stool even though I don’t need his help. I don’t mind, though, and I appreciate the hand on my lower back as we leave the place. It’s that crowded, and I feel a bit claustrophobic. I’ve never felt this way before, but my chest is tight, and I’m breathing fast, and my hands are clammy.
Oh. Maybe this is all from him touching me. I don’t know. Crazy to think about.
As we head back to my place, we talk about things, not super deep but not terribly light either.
By the time my place is almost into view, Rix stops. “I hope you didn’t mind all of that.”
“All of what?”
“I sure minded. It gets old fast. When the guys are around, some of the women will pay them attention, so it’s more manageable, but honestly, I hate it.”
“Hate what?”
Rix just gives me a look.
“You mean the attention from the women? Oh, I barely noticed that.”
“Ava, I could tell that made you uncomfortable. Ovian, it made me uncomfortable. I don’t appreciate it, and I just want you to know that. Okay?”
He’s so very sweet, worrying about me and my feeling. He wants to settle my nerves, and honestly, he’s having the opposite effect on me. Rix is making me feel all kinds of things, and I decide to give in, to go for it.
I lift onto my tiptoes.
And I kiss him.
15
Rix
The kiss comes out of nowhere, and I don't know where to put my hands. I mean, I want to wrap my arms around Ava and pull her to me, but I don't know if I should, if she wants that. Then, she touches my arms, and I think it's okay. I wrap one arm around her, and she relaxes against me.
My lips move against hers, and I want her to open her mouth. There’s so much more that I want. In fact, I want her so very badly that even though she’s not pressed up right against me, she still might be able to feel my erection. My cock is throbbing, and I want her so much right now. It feels like my balls are going to explode.
But I control myself. As badly as I want Ava, I don't want to push her too hard, too fast.
I pull back enough to say, “You’re in control,” but then she’s kissing me again, claiming my words.
My tongue sweeps across her lower lip, and she opens her mouth. Cautiously, I put my tongue in her
