That couldn’t be further from the truth.
Which makes me think that it had been love after all.
Can love survive betrayal?
Had it even been betrayal when we never talked about what we were? I wasn’t exclusive. I couldn’t be. Or maybe I could’ve. It was only after Adir and everything that I found it in me to tell breeders now, that I didn’t want to have sex with any of them until we were in love.
Which means the last time I had sex had been with Adir.
I can’t figure out right from w3rong. I don’t have all of the pieces to the puzzle.
And maybe I don't need them. Maybe the past isn't where the answers are. It's possible I need to start looking to the future. While I can't ignore the past, I can move forward at least.
For now, I just need to be me, to learn who I am and who I want to be. The breeders, the new and the old, they’re going to be leaving. Today is their last day, and then… then a new day will start with the women working.
Me. Working. I’m excited, but I’m also worried. Just what job can I do well? Because I don’t want to just do a job for the sake of keeping busy.
The morning arrives when the women can pick our future and have more freedom of Kuria than ever before. The women all jostle and brush up against each other during the mad rush to the stairs. They all want to be the first to claim a centuricmobile to take them to whichever location they need to go for whichever job they picked.
Diane pushes her way through to me. “This is so crazy,” she murmurs.
“You’re telling me.” I eye my blond, blue-haired friend. She hasn’t had much luck at all with the Novans, and she was more upfront with them from the beginning. She never let one of them touch her because she wanted to make sure that when the time came, it would be to legit try to have a baby. She wanted love. When she came here, she knew that was required, and she made it a requirement for herself. Honestly, I think more women should have been that way from the start.
“Have you decided yet?” she asks.
I lift onto my toes, trying to see when the crowd will thin so we can fall in line behind the others. There must be a traffic jam at the stairs from the higher floors because the women are hardly moving.
“Well?” Diane prompts.
“I have.” I eye her. “You still want to learn how to fly a ship?”
“If they’ll let me. If not… I don’t have a backup plan yet. What did you pick?”
I grin. “I want to see Kuria. What better way to do that than to be a driver?”
“Plus, you’ll be alone at times.” She tilts her head to the side. “But you’ll also be stuck with someone or multiple someones all alone. Can you handle that?”
“You act as if I’m allergic to people.” I force myself to laugh.
“I know you. You’re quiet. There’s nothing wrong with that, but I just don’t want you to feel uncomfortable.”
“I won’t,” I assure her. “I’ve learned how to make small talk. It’s painful, but I can do it. Besides, I think a lot of people just want to hear their own voice. They don’t necessarily need someone to talk back to them. And they also can sometimes realize that silence is golden so…” I shrug. “It’s all good.”
“People.” Diane snorts. “It does go for Novans and… Earthlings.” She shakes her head. “It’s still so weird to have to refer to ourselves that way.”
“I know, but it’s true. We’re from Earth.”
“Yes, and Kuria is now our home. For better or for worse.”
I lift my eyebrows. “You don’t regret coming here, do you?”
“No,” she murmurs. “I just would’ve thought I would be pregnant long before now.”
“It’ll happen. You’re easy to love.”
“Ah.” Diane gives me a one-armed hug, and we laugh.
We make our way to the stairs, and soon, Diane’s off in one of the last centuricmobiles. I wait until the rest of the women have been taken care of, and a driver approaches me.
“Hi, I’m Fynn.” He pauses. “I think I might’ve driven you before. I’m sorry. I can’t remember your name.”
I smile shyly. “You did drive me before, but I don’t think I told you my name.”
“So I’m forgiven. Good.” He grins. “Where can I take you…”
“Callie, and maybe you don’t have to take me far.”
“What do you mean, Callie?”
“I want to be a driver,” I explain. “I need to first learn how to drive. I mean, I have a license to drive cars back on Earth, but that’s not… I need to learn how to drive a centuricmobile. Can you teach me? Or are you busy, and you need to—”
“I can teach you, Callie. That’s the first step. Then, you’ll need your own centuricmobile. Once you have your own—”
“When will that be?” I ask eagerly.
He chuckles. “I’m not sure. I’ve been asking for more to be built. You’re the only female to want to join our ranks, but I’m hoping that you’ll be reason enough that the overlord will grant us another one at the very least.”
“Why won’t he make more?”
“It’s not easy. We have limited material, and we’re also spread a little thin.”
“Well, you have us women to help now.” I spread out my hands.
“True enough and about time. So, you’ll get yours, whenever that is, and—”
“I’ll need a map,” I say slowly.
“Yes. You’ll have to learn where everything is so that you can drive your passengers wherever they want to go.”
“And when we aren’t active?”
“Then, you can do what you want.”
“And go where I want?”
Fynn grins. “Is that why you want to be a driver?”
“Freedom.”
“All right. Why don’t you climb on in, and I’ll show you the controls.”
“Great!”
Driving a centuricmobile is not like driving a car. Not really. It’s similar, but the handling is different. The gears are
