“Don’t.” I clawed at her hand, my nails clutching her leather gloves. I had to see it with my own eyes, exactly why he blew me off.
She turned to me, and her eyes softened. “Don’t you want to know what he’s doing here, who the girl is?”
“I’m pretty sure I already know, but I want to see it for myself.” I slumped forward in the front seat, sticking my nose as close to the windshield as humanly possible. “Because that girl isn’t his sister. It’s Colleen.”
I watched the scene play out in front of me like a movie scene. Before he got to his car, she tugged on his coat. He stopped and said something to her she didn’t look too happy about.
“What the—?” Shanda screeched, then clapped her hand over her mouth. He flinched, turning in our direction, and we slid down in our seats. “Sorry.”
It didn’t matter, her words barely registered, because all my energy fixated on one thing.
Colleen tugged on his coat again, and the blood pumped through my veins faster and faster with each inch she got closer to him. Then she threw her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. He pulled away, but not fast enough.
Tears beat against my eyelids so hard I didn’t know what hurt worse.
“Was that on the cheek, or did that girl actually kiss your man?” Shanda’s snarl was indignant. “I have half a mind to go up there and punch that floozy.”
Then in a matter of seconds, Bryan tucked Colleen into his car and they drove off.
“Now she’s leaving with him?” Shanda’s eyes were wide in the darkness.
The dam burst, and water gushed down my cheeks. “Let’s just go home.” My words were a sob, shaky and hoarse. “Before I lose it big time.”
“Whatever you need.” Shanda squeezed my hand, turned the car on, and spun out of the parking space. “I could ram his car if you want.”
“Thanks, but I’ve had enough of ramming into things because of stupid boys.” I just shook my head, as if I could shake out the vision of him kissing her. But it was still there, clear as if I saw it five seconds ago.
Just like before.
I couldn’t believe it. Apparently nine months and a thousand miles of distance meant nothing. It’d happened all over again, my guy kissing someone else—and I had to watch.
Bryan wasn’t even my guy, officially. But deep down, it hurt like he was. No technicality like a distance pact could get him out of this one.
Riverdale’s lights were different at slower speeds, like a twinkle of hope in the blackness. Just not enough light to prick its way through the shroud of my present darkness.
Shanda’s hushed tone shattered the silence. “Maybe it’s not what you think.”
“Maybe it is. Maybe he’s just like Jake.” I spit the words out like they were infected.
“This isn’t like him, did you think about that? Maybe it’s all her, maybe she’s the one who wants to get back together with him.” Shanda stopped at a red light and turned to face me. Streetlights cast wavy shadows on her cheekbones. When I finally looked her in the eye, she had her serious face on. “It is possible, you know. Maybe she’s just like Jake.”
“Maybe.” As we got closer to campus, I flipped down the mirror. Splotches covered my face, but I wiped away the teary remnants. Good thing I hadn’t bothered with mascara.
Still, none of it made any sense. “I don’t know what’s going on any more.”
“Don’t say that.” Shanda clucked her tongue at me. “It could all be a misunderstanding. It’s possible. You know it is. Maybe you should trust him, at least give him the benefit of the doubt.”
“Out of all of my friends, I never figured you’d be the one to stick up for Bryan.” I flipped up the mirror as we passed the Montrose Academy sign.
How could two schools a thousand miles apart be so similar? I had hoped this place would be my escape, my sanctuary, but now I was worse off than before. A hollow ache crawled from my throat to my stomach, settling deep inside me.
“That’s before I got to know him.” Shanda swung her tiny car into a parking space. “We should’ve gotten out of the car and asked what was going on. He’s a good guy, Lucy. There has to be an explanation for what just happened.”
“People do stupid things sometimes.” I reached for the door handle, but Shanda stopped me.
“Do you trust him?”
I peered back at her, studying the expectant expression on her face. Slowly, her words sank in. “I thought I did.”
She squeezed my hand. “Then maybe you should trust that this is all a misunderstanding. I bet if we just asked him right now, he’d clear up the whole thing.”
I exhaled enough air to fog up the windshield. “With everything I’ve been through, I just don’t know. I need to think for a while. I’m going for a walk.”
“Fine.” With a huff, Shanda let go of my hand and hopped out of the car. “Don’t stay out too long. It’s getting colder.”
My arms felt like barbells as I opened the door. With every movement, my body hung heavier, like it was weighed down. We trudged in silence back to the dorm.
At the edge of the sidewalk, Shanda hugged me. “You know where I’ll be if you need me.” Then she jogged to the door.
I kept marching, not knowing where my feet would lead me. They trampled a path on the dry grass until I reached the quad. The cold bit into me, and I cinched the scarf tighter around my neck. Out of the corner of my eye, a shadow flitted past. I turned in its direction and saw him.
Not some kind of strange shadow-vision, but the real thing.
I blinked, but my eyes weren’t playing tricks on me. It was Jake. The last person I wanted to run into on a dark campus with no
