“Maybe you’re right.” Her words rang true, tingling straight to my toes. I couldn’t keep my lips from curving. “Maybe I should just follow my heart and see where it leads.”
A great idea in theory, one that still scared me.
“That’s my romantic girl you always tried to hide.” She huddled in as the band took the stage. “What’re you gonna do about it?”
“Isn’t it enough that I said it out loud?” I threw my hands up in the air as everyone else clapped in anticipation. “Now I have to make the first move?”
“It’s hardly the first move.” She tsked her tongue at me, a dissonant note against the band’s tuning noises like we’d just gone back two steps. “If you want him, you have to go for it. Even if you’re scared. Life’s too short to keep pretending.”
“It sounds so easy when you say it like that.” I managed a weak smile. “How much do I owe you?”
“Free of charge.” She bumped up against my shoulder. “Now let’s sing our song.”
“No.” I glanced around the darkening club as everyone crowded to the front. Beside me, she started into the chorus.
“I’m a survivor, I’m gonna make it.” She paused as the band introduced themselves as Canyon Road, waiting for me to finish.
Under my breath I sang, “You’re not gonna stop me, I’m gonna work harder.”
We cracked up at each other as the first soft guitar chords rang out.
“One more time, everyone now.” Shanda stretched her arms around Brooke and Julia, squishing them closer. Her next words were drowned out by the thumping drumbeat of Canyon Road’s folksy rock music.
Chapter 28
The days were colder now, the crisp scent of snow tingeing the air. A lingering chill hovered in the distance Bryan put between us, as December reared its cold, bleak head. I huddled into my soft comforter on my favorite window-perch. No matter how hard I tried to push him out of my mind, he lingered in the corners, waiting for me in my most vulnerable moments. I’d had a fitful night’s sleep, worrying about what I would say to Bryan, how I would approach him.
On this cold Sunday night, I knew I had to call him. We just had to work out some other arrangement, because this was killing me inside. After months of trying not to like this guy and failing, I needed to admit defeat. I couldn’t deny my feelings anymore. And I deserved some kind of resolution—relationship or not.
I dug my cell out of my new winter purse, a peace offering from Mom. Four rings later it went to voicemail, so I worked up the nerve to text him. Whatcha up to tonight? Maybe we could hang out somewhere that no one knows us. Yep, I was getting more than a little desperate.
Tempting, but I’m busy tonight. Maybe another time if I can swing it.
“How could he be busy tonight?” I punched the end button, chucking my cell phone onto the bed. It bounced and floated back to the bedspread with a happy little thud. The nerve of this guy. “He’s just determined to keep this stupid distance pact. Pathetic.”
“Enough of this. You’ve got to snap out of it, girl.” Shanda switched off her desk lamp and grabbed her purse. “Let’s get out of here so maybe you’ll stop moping.”
“I’m not moping, I’m thinking.” I rolled over, only to catch her rolling her eyes. I grabbed my purse, too. “Fine, you’re right. I’m starting to annoy myself now. What’d you have in mind?”
She dabbed on some berry lip gloss. “I’m in the mood for a good mocha. Let’s go to the coffee shop.”
“Coffee sounds good.” I stared at my phone, as if sheer will could make it ring, then dumped it in my purse. “Anything to get me out of this dorm room.”
We bundled up and scuttled downstairs to the lobby where Monica, Laura, and a few other girls played a game of Mafia. I waved to Laura, opening my mouth to invite her, but Shanda clamped a hand on my shoulder.
“Don’t,” she whispered in my ear. “I don’t want Monica tagging along.”
I shut my trap in an instant.
As if she had dog ears, Monica flipped her blonde hair over her shoulder. “You girls headed out?”
I glanced at Shanda, whose lips clenched in a straight line. “Yep, just wanted to get out of the dorm for a little while.”
Monica nodded at me, a strange shadow creeping around her shoulders. Her lips curled up, twitching in an odd little half-smile. “Have fun at the coffeehouse, just be back by curfew.”
“No prob.” I scurried after Shanda.
“Thanks, Mom,” she muttered under her breath.
At the front door, I turned around for one last glance. “Did I accidentally say where we were going?” The dark cloud had congealed into a serpentine mist hovering behind Monica, contrasting against her blonde hair. Almost like the shadows I’d seen around Will.
Shanda shook her head at me.
“Weird.” A chill crept up my spine. Maybe Bryan was wrong, and Nexis had no plans to leave us alone. “I think you’re right about that girl.”
Cold night air blasted me as I opened the door. I zipped my black coat all the way up to the scarf at my neck and followed Shanda to her cute little red Fiat.
“Duh, you don’t have to tell me that.” She hopped in, barely waiting for me to close the door before she zipped out of the parking lot. With a flourish, she zigzagged her way in and out of Riverdale traffic so fast it swirled my stomach into mush. The lights of the city blurred past, a twinkle of dots and sparks. She veered into the coffee shop parking lot in record time.
A familiar shape emerged from the shadows, and there he was, walking out of the coffee shop—with a brassy blonde.
“Is that Bryan?” Shanda gasped. Her arm flew
