"The other two girls got threatening texts from Hayes. Right after he got kicked out of the building yesterday, when one of the girls came clean to Mr. Hill. We've been advised to take your phone in case he does the same to you. So we can use it as evidence to obtain a restraining order."
He looks away and I sit back in my seat while Mom hands him my phone. I edge away from Mom and stare out the window, silently. My step father can't even look at me now.
I lean my head against the cool window, full of shame.
◆◆◆
I really want to go to my room. I want to bury myself in my bed, under my covers and smell Manny. I want to talk to him. I have to talk to him. But Mom still won't let me have my damn phone.
She's called my dad finally and they had a huge screaming match on the phone. Then Ethan called his attorney and told Mom that because I was eighteen and it was a consensual relationship, we couldn't press charges. Technically, I was an adult.
I haven't heard from Michael which gives me this strange sense of relief combined with sadness. He contacted the other two girls, but not me. That's how fucked up I am. I'm actually feeling slightly jealous that he got in touch with the others and not me.
I walk slowly in and out of the kitchen, mostly being ignored. I can hear my phone buzzing occasionally but Mom and Ethan kept checking it and so far it's just Ryan texting, asking me if the rumors are true. So that means it's already out and chances are Manny knows that I lied to him by now.
Ethan still won't really look at me and finally retreats to his den, leaving me and Mom alone. I hover near her as she sits with a bottle of white wine, filling and refilling her glass.
"Mom, please. Give me my phone."
She's stopped crying finally. Now she just sits silently, her makeup blotchy, biting her lips and sighing while staring off into space. "No, Taryn."
I start crying, holding my stomach which hurts so bad from my nerves. "I have to text Manny, Mom, please, you don't understand!"
She looks up at me, her eyes blazing. "What I don't understand, Taryn, is how you let this happen! I raised you better than that, didn't I?" Mom shakes her head, looking baffled. "I just...I don't understand! When did I ever give you the impression that sex with your teacher was okay?"
"It's not your fault, Mom." I rub my sore, red eyes. "Please, I'll give you the phone right back after I text him. Please!"
Then the doorbell rings and Mom jumps up and we head for the foyer at the same time Ethan comes out of his den. He holds a hand up to both of us and peers out the peep hole.
"It's Manny."
I start to laugh, and there's nothing funny about it. I dissolve into tears, my shoulders shaking.
"Tell him to go away," Mom tells Ethan. "She's not up to this right now."
"No." I take a shuddering breath and wipe my eyes. "I'll go out and talk to him. I should have told him the truth ages ago. You guys stay in here, please."
Mom and Ethan wait while I open the door and step outside.
Manny has moved away from the door and is standing by his car at the end of the driveway. His arms are folded and his eyes look almost black, that's how mad he is. I can feel his anger as I approach. What can I even say to make this better? I can't think of any words at all.
"Don't talk." He looks away from me, his lips so thinned they almost disappear. "I asked you...three times..." He raises his eyes to mine, holding me still with his glare. "Three fucking times, Taryn! And every time you assured me, that nothing happened between you and Hayes! And then today, I find out the truth, from...fucking stupid Linda Songer of all people!"
I shake my head slightly. "Linda? How did Linda know? Did Pam tell her?"
Manny's makes a helpless gesture with his hand. "Pam? How is Pam messed up in this? Linda was in the fucking office when you were being questioned by Hill, Taryn! The bitch eavesdropped while the secretary was away from her desk. And then she ran out and blabbed all of it to the entire school." He raises both eyebrows at me. "And, sweetheart, you'll be happy to know, that Jay-fucking-Pat have already put it online, on a new website. So, how's that? See what happens when you lie, Taryn?"
I'm hugging myself, trying not to cry. He has every right to be pissed. But he has to still love me, doesn't he? I need him now, I need him to take me into his arms and tell me everything will be alright, that he'll protect me.
"You have nothing to say?"
I struggle to speak. "I'm sorry, Manny."
He starts pacing in front of his car, his hands in fists on his hips. "Yeah me too." He stops suddenly and looks at me, smiling bitterly. "So, when I asked you if you'd done this before - sex - and you said Patrick was your first... that was a lie too, wasn't it? It wasn't Patrick. It was Hayes. Oh my God!" Manny puts his hands in his hair and pulls at it angrily. "I'm so fucking stupid!"
I force myself forward and reach for him. "Manny, no, please, listen to me." I start crying again, grabbing his arm tightly. "I wanted to tell you, but I was scared. I thought if you knew you'd dump me. Please, Manny, I'm sorry! Please forgive me, please, I love you!"
He pushes me away, and points a finger in my face. "No! You don't get to keep the truth from me and then say you love me! You lied to me,
