"Manny, please, don't..."
But he moves further away from me. "I told you, Taryn, how important trust was to me." He cringes, looking like he might start crying himself. "I told you, once you lose my trust, it's over."
"Don't leave me," I beg through my sobs. "I don't love Michael, I love you, I want to be with you, please!"
Manny stands very still, gazing into the street. Then he briefly hangs his head and looks at me. "No. You ruined it. It's over. It's done. I'm done. Goodbye, Taryn."
He opens his car and slides behind the wheel and I start for him but suddenly Mom is there and she's holding me back while I cry and plead for him to stay.
Manny guns his engine and tears out of the driveway as I sob in Mom's arms.
◆◆◆
I'm not allowed to sleep in my room because Mom is afraid I might off myself. After Manny left me, I went into further hysterics and Mom finally gave me a sleeping pill and made me a bed on the couch. I don't know what time that was or how powerful the pill is but it must have been pretty strong because when I wake up it's morning. The sun is streaming through the great room windows and Mom is dozing in the easy chair next to me.
For a minute it seems just like a bad dream, but then Ethan comes in with a cup of hot tea and I feel how dry and sore my eyes are and I know it's real. Everyone knows about me and Michael and I've lost Manny and I want to cry some more, but I have no tears left.
I sit up groggily and Ethan hands me the tea and then sits beside me on the couch. He nods at my mother.
"She slept there all night. She was so worried about you."
I glance at Mom who's still sleeping and sip my tea.
"Manny dumped me." I tell Ethan, even though I know he already knows. I guess I just need to say it out loud so I can hear it from my own lips. "I loved him and he left." I look up at my stepfather and give a little shrug and a tear-less sob.
He puts his hand over mine. "I know." For a long moment neither of us speak.
I've never had a "moment" with Ethan. He's always just been my mom's husband, smiling and positive, always cheerful and confident. Now he feels like much more than I ever gave him credit for.
"You know, when I married your mom and you came into my life, I didn't have a clue what to do." He gives me a little smile. "Here I was, this lifelong bachelor playboy and suddenly I'm a husband to a woman with an adorable, spunky little girl. You were so cute. Still are." He squeezes my hand. "And somewhere along the line, when your mom and I weren't looking, you grew up. And we missed it. We missed having important talks with you, explaining how the real world works. I don't know..." Ethan pauses. "Maybe we were just afraid to ask you too much, to find out things we weren't ready to hear about what you were doing. We should have asked, Taryn, we should have paid more attention. I'm sorry."
I put my other hand on top of his. "It's okay, if you had have asked me anything, I probably wouldn't have told you the truth anyway. It's not anyone's fault...but mine. And Michael's. I'm guilty, for sure, but he knew better and he still did it. Even if I asked for it, he was my teacher and he should have told me no. He didn't force me exactly, but it's still not fair."
"You're right, it's not," Ethan agrees. He sighs and looks at Mom and then back at me. "I know I'm not your father, Taryn. I know I could never take his place and I would never try to. But...when you were a little kid, I took you to soccer practice and I came to all of your games and cheered you on. And I read to you before bed, what were those books? The underwear ones?"
I laugh softly. "Captain Underpants."
He nods and chuckles. "Yeah, those. And I remember taking you to Disneyland and you puked on me when we went on Space Mountain."
I'm crying again, I don't know where the tears came from, but they are more happy memory tears than sad ones. I remember those times with Ethan. They were fun - well maybe not the puking - but I remember how sweet he always was, how he didn't yell at me when I barfed on him. Instead he helped clean me up and then at the end of the day he carried me back to the car.
"All those memories, all those times with you." Ethan is tearing up himself now and he takes a deep breath and then lets it out. "I'm not your father, Taryn, but I like to think that since the day I married your mom, I've been your Dad."
I put a hand to my eyes, crying softly for a moment and then I sit up and hug Ethan around the neck. "You are," I tell him, wetting his shirt with my tears. "You are my Dad."
He hugs me back tightly and then releases me and I sit back.
"I love you, kid. I hope you know that." He wipes at his own eyes and gives me another gentle smile.
"I do know that. And I love you too."
Mom snorts in her sleep and Ethan and I crack up. It's hard to believe I can even manage a smile right now, let alone a laugh.
But I do.
◆◆◆
Mom and I are at the mall, shopping. It's been two weeks since that horrible day when the truth came out and Manny broke up with me. Two weeks and I haven't had a word from him. My messages and texts go unanswered and when I go to
