Logan opened his mouth to protest again, but the words got stuck in his throat. There was an honesty to Cam’s words that hurt. He was right about Logan never wanting to play football again. He hadn’t seen the point if he couldn’t be the best. And the best was what he’d become in the restaurant world. He’d made damn sure of that.
But with Courtney? He had no control. And it scared him.
“You gotta learn to let go of the outcome,” Cam said softly. “Which I know sounds crazy coming from someone like me. But if you keep trying to control people they’re gonna let you down, because nobody wants to be your puppet.”
“Is that what you think I was doing? Trying to control Courtney?” Logan asked, his chest tighter than ever. Had asking her to choose been controlling?
“Yeah, I do. I don’t think you needed to ask her to come here tonight. You told us earlier that she had a hell of a day. She needs to relax, take care of herself and the baby, not travel here to see you being the big man on campus.”
Logan swallowed hard, thinking about the baby. Damn, he hoped Courtney was resting right now. “I feel like I’m competing with a dead man,” he whispered, to himself as much as his twin.
“Dead people can’t compete. They’re dead.” Cam shook his head. “You can’t make everything in life a competition. You gotta trust in your gut. Trust in the people you love to treat you right. Don’t keep pushing them, because you’ll always be disappointed. Courtney and the baby are the best things that have ever happened to you. Everybody says so. Gray, Maddie, Tanner, and especially Becca.” He chuckled. “You’ve smiled more in the past few months than you have in years. And when the two of you are together, you just work. She calms you. Makes you a better man. And I’m telling you now, that if I ever find someone who makes me smile like that I’m gonna cling onto them and never let go.” He nudged Logan’s shoulder with his own. “Hell, maybe I should talk to Courtney. See if she likes NFL players.”
“Fuck you. Leave her alone,” Logan growled.
This time, Cam laughed loudly. “You need to pull your head out of your ass before you lose her. She’s everything and she loves you.”
Logan blinked. “You think she still loves me after this?”
“Why don’t you ask her that?”
“Because she wants space, remember?”
Cam slowly nodded his head. “Yeah, I remember. And it’s right that you give her some time if she’s asked for it. But eventually one of you will have to make the first move.” The corner of his lips quirked up. “And as controlling as it sounds, I think it should be you.”
“You think she’ll want me to?” Logan felt hope surge through his body.
“I don’t know,” Cam admitted. “And neither do you. And I understand that scares the shit out of you. But what I do know is that the two of you are having a baby, one that deserves to have two parents who are at least civil to each other. Hopefully more.” He nudged his brother once again. “And if you aren’t, then this uncle’s gonna bash your head in.”
“I’d like to see you try.”
The kitchen door opened, light spilling onto the dark concrete. Tanner and Gray walked out. “Everything okay?” Gray asked, as the two of them made their way outside.
Logan’s eyes met Cam’s. “Yeah,” he said, pulling his gaze back to his older brother. It wasn’t exactly a lie. “I just needed a breath of air.”
“Well if you two are done having your twin moment, you should come back in,” Tanner said, grinning at them both. “Becca’s drunk, Maddie’s half-asleep, and Van is talking about us all going clubbing. So I suggest we have one last drink and head back to our hotel.” He clapped Logan’s shoulder. “I want to raise a glass to my big brother.”
“I’m your big brother, too,” Cam pointed out. “And so is Gray.”
“Then I’ll raise a glass to you all. It’s not often we get the chance to spend time together like this.”
“Especially without kids,” Gray pointed out. “And there’ll be another little Hartson very soon.”
Logan’s mouth felt dry at the thought. He would be a dad in five month’s time. Totally responsible for another life, when he didn’t even have his own sorted. Weird how that thought hit him like a bolt from the blue when he’d seen the baby on the ultrasound screen, ran his hand over Courtney’s soft bump. Gray had told him before how hard he’d found it to connect with the twins during Maddie’s pregnancy, at least until he could feel them move and kick and squirm against his hand. And then when they’d been born, he’d felt a love so fierce it had taken his breath away.
Would Logan be the same? He was pretty sure he would be. And the thought scared him because if he thought he was out of control at the moment, that feeling would be tenfold once he was a father.
He had a lot to think about. But for now, he was going to go inside the restaurant and spend time with his family. The ones he was born with – not the family he intended to make with the only woman who’d ever stolen his heart.
“Come on, I’ll buy you all a drink,” he muttered, inclining his head at the kitchen door.
Cam slapped him on the back. “Sounds good to me.”
“Tonight was amazing,” Paris said when all the guests had gone and they’d finished shutting the restaurant down. It was almost two a.m. and Logan was beat. “I still can’t believe that you’re leaving this all behind.” She said as she pulled on her coat and they walked to the door. “This is who you are, Logan. It’s what you excel at.” She waved her hand at the
