“We’re not.”
A smile dances on his lips. “Well then, you obviously have your own shit to work out, brother.”
I can’t even argue with that.
When our hour is up, we stand, and I wrap my arms around Eli in a tight, manly embrace. It’s been way too long since I hugged my brother. And despite our differences, I still love the asshole. “I’ll come back to visit…” I hesitate. “…Soon. Take care of yourself.”
He hugs me back. “You guys, just keep taking care of my kid. That little girl is all I care about.”
The thought of Callie makes my heart go tight. I think about the pain she’s been going through since her family was torn apart. I wonder if my own kid will feel that pain if he has to grow up without a dad. I wonder if Penny will get stuck trying to explain it all while I sit on the sidelines. Fuck.
“Hey now, Kingston!” I hear shouting coming from one of the guards in the corner. “You need some privacy for your little conjugal visit over there? Cut that shit out, man!”
Laughter rings out around us, and I jump back, a little freaked out, to be honest.
Eli just points at me. “Christ, your face is priceless.” He chuckles as he walks back to meet his escort by the door. “You’re not cut out for this life, you big softie. Get out of here. Hurry back to Penny and your kid. Hurry back to your family.”
41
Penny
I’m curled up on the couch with a baby book. It’s one of the many parenting manuals I borrowed from Lexi. I don’t know how I’m going to get through all of these before the baby is born. There is just so much freaking stuff to learn. It makes me a little anxious.
I’m deep into a chapter about decoding your child’s cries—which seems damn near impossible, if you ask me—when Walker comes through the cabin’s front door.
He’s been gone all day, claiming he had some business to take care of out of town. It’s not like him to be away from the farm all day, so I assume whatever it was, it was important. I’m guessing he went to check out some of that new farm equipment he’s been talking about.
Sustainable agriculture means so much to him. So does doing his part to take care of the planet. Most people look at him and see nothing but a hard exterior but he really is a gentle soul.
Diana kept me company in Walker’s absence, though. She came by mid-morning with leftover wedding cake from the guesthouse, baby albums and a box full of adorable onesies her boys wore as infants. We talked and we laughed as we pored over Kingston family memories. Then she fed me into a food coma that resulted in a three-hour nap for me after lunch.
“Hey.” Walker drops down next to me.
“Hey.” My gut twists up like a pretzel with him so near. Close proximity to him still makes me fluttery.
“What you reading?” He grabs my wrist and playfully flips it over to peek at the cover of my paperback.
The gesture says he’s not in the mood for heavy conversation right now. So does the light smile barely curling his mouth. But I see something heavy on his brow. Despite his carefree attitude, something’s bothering him.
“Baby books,” I say. I examine his tense expression. “You good?”
He nods. “I’m good.”
He’s lying his ass off but I decide not to pry. I can tell it’s not the time. He’s trying to unwind, to break free of whatever thoughts have him so tense.
I wish I could help loosen that tension in his broad back. I want to unbutton his shirt, peel off the fabric and knead those wide shoulders with my fingertips until his stress fades away. My mind is spiralling into inappropriate territory. I silently scold myself and hope Walker can’t read my thoughts on my face.
Gosh—I really need to get my own apartment. Because I’m not sure how much longer I can stay here without jumping this man’s bones. Walker promised he would help me find a place, but when I circled a bunch of rental options in the newspaper a few weeks back, he found fault with every single one. Since then, I haven’t heard anything else on the topic. Walker’s a busy guy though. He works more hours than anyone I know. Farming is no joke.
In any case, I’m not exactly in a hurry to leave. Not only do I thoroughly enjoy the man’s company, but I think I’ve fallen in love with the farm, too. It may be wrong, but for the time being, I don’t plan on bringing up the topic unless he does.
He brings his attention back to the parenting guides. He leans forward and snatches a few up from the coffee table. He leafs through a hardback about how fathers can effectively bond with their newborns. “You mind if I borrow this one?”
My heart catches. I want to ask him why he wants to read about parenting but instead, I shrug a shoulder. “Go ahead.”
We sit in silence for a few moments. Walker thumbs through his book and I pretend to still be reading mine but his presence next to me is a distraction. There’s a hint of sweat beneath his natural fragrance and it’s calling out to the primal part of me.
After a while, he drops his book onto the cushion next to him and his attention travels to me. He brushes a lock of hair back from my brow. “I love how invested you are in this.” I glance up right before he says, “You’re gonna be a great mom.”
“I want that so much, Walker.” I can feel my chest pulling tight. I didn’t grow up with an attentive mother so I want to do
