Yet even if he proposed, would she consent to have him? It went counter to the historical view of her ancestors. Yet despite their teachings, she thought, for him, she might agree. If she could have him as her husband, matrimony might be worth it.
“You keep reminding me that the engagement isn’t official,” she said. “Could you postpone it so you can contemplate your path?”
“I can’t imagine doing that. Roxanne traveled from Italy, due to my promise. It would be callous of me to demand a delay.”
Joanna frowned. “Could we not talk about this? I understand you need a confidante on the topic, but it can’t be me. I’m very fond of you, and I can’t bear to discuss your betrothal or your marriage. It’s painful for me.”
He snorted with disgust. “Gad, I’m an ass, aren’t I? I was so anxious to vent my frustrations that I never considered how difficult it might be for you to listen. I’m sorry.”
He snuggled her down, and she rested against his chest, soothed by the sound of his heart beating under his ribs. It was such a splendid interval, and she must have dozed off because, next she knew, he was whispering, “Joanna! Wake up.”
She flinched and glanced about, requiring a moment to figure out why she wasn’t in her bed. Then she exhaled a nervous breath and sank down.
“Was I sleeping? I didn’t mean to.”
“The rain has stopped and dawn is upon us. I should go.”
She sat up and ran a hand through her disheveled hair. “Am I a mess?”
“Yes, but you’re an adorable mess.”
He drew her in and kissed her, and they both sighed with pleasure.
“I will be very greedy,” she said, “and ask when I’ll see you again.”
“I’m not certain when it will be.”
Panic surged, but she tamped it down. “That can’t be your response. You’re like a bad habit. You can’t simply avoid me. I’d miss you too much.”
“I’m off to London for a few days. I have business to conduct.”
“I’m glad you told me. If I hadn’t been apprised, I’d have been glued to my window, staring out to discover if you were strolling up my walk. I’m growing that used to having you around.”
“Can I tell you of a task I’ve scheduled?”
“Of course.”
“It’s a tad shocking, and no one in my family likes to admit it, but did you ever hear that I have two half-brothers? Their names are Caleb and Blake.”
“Yes, I have heard that.”
“When my mother was alive, I wasn’t able to be friends with them, but I can make my own choices now. I’ve been thinking I should establish a relationship with them. While I’m in town, I intend to visit Caleb and invite him to Ralston Place.”
“What a pretty idea.”
“Really? Everyone else believes it’s an insane notion.”
“I’m all alone in the world—except for Clara—so it’s lovely that you’d want to expand your family. You absolutely should befriend them.”
“The minute I’m back, I’ll call on you to report how it went.”
“Are you leaving tomorrow?”
“Yes, so I’ll be home next Sunday.”
“Will you be at church this morning? I could grin at you from the rear pews.”
“No. I’m a dedicated heathen.”
“I am not, so I’ll be there with bells on.”
She always attended services. She would never let others suppose she wasn’t a Christian. It was a warning passed down by her female kin.
He shifted her off his lap and stood her on her feet. She helped him up too, then she assisted him as he donned his coat and boots. He was gazing down at her with such a serious expression on his face. She braced for him to offer a profound comment, but in the end, he didn’t.
He dipped down and kissed her again, then he practically yanked himself away.
“I have to get going,” he said. “You entice me so thoroughly that I feel as if you’ve attached fetters to prevent my escape.”
“I have no fetters to ensnare you, but I will declare myself ecstatic that you spent part of the night with me.”
“I’ll miss you every second while I’m away.”
“I will very brashly confess that I will miss you too.”
“The ground is too wet,” he said, “so stay in here.”
“All right, I will.”
“But watch out the window as I depart. Will you? I’ll wave goodbye.”
“I must inform you that you’re very close to spouting poetry. You must flee before you completely embarrass yourself.”
“I’ll see you in a week.”
“I can’t wait.”
He left, and Mutt scooted out with him.
“Can he come outside?” he asked.
“Yes. He can even follow you to the manor if he wishes. He knows the way back.”
Jacob nodded, then hurried out. She tarried until he appeared on his horse that he must have hobbled in the shed behind the cottage. He trotted past the front, and Mutt was loping along with him.
Just when he would have been swallowed up by the trees, he reined in. She waved enthusiastically, and it made her feel as if he was hers, that he lived with her, that he was merely off on an errand and would return shortly.
It was a thrilling thought, and she let it sink in so it would keep her smiling all day.
“If it isn’t Roxanne, the new mistress of Ralston Place.”
“Sod off, Kit.”
Roxanne glared at Kit, but it was impossible to shame him. When she’d agreed to betroth herself to Jacob, she hadn’t realized he was Jacob’s land agent, but she should have realized it. After all, he’d been raised at the estate and had been too lazy to ever leave. It had been a huge shock to show up and bump into him.
Jacob’s mother, Esther, had written to her about the engagement, and it would have been nice if Kit had written too. He could have warned her of his presence before she accepted, but he was too much of a prig to consider anyone but himself.
She had to get rid of him, but she wasn’t sure how.
