He stroked my head as I hugged him fiercely. I liked the feeling of his fingers in my hair and his warm chest against my body. I could smell his sweet aroma; it was more powerful than the honeysuckle scent that permeated the air around us in the garden. I never wanted the scent of him to go away.
“That’s a good fantasy you have for us,” Roki said, “but let’s focus on today. Okay? Let’s enjoy our time together.” We stood, and he took me by the hand. “Let’s walk some more.”
We strolled through the gardens of NordHaven for what felt like years, trailing alongside the artificial creek with the backs of our hands touching as if we both wanted to hold hands but were too shy. We walked beneath the artificial apple trees and laughed together, strolled below the canopy of fake leaves and vines, and across the wooden lovers’ bridge. The scents changed as we walked. I realized for the first time how much of my home was fake: the leaves, the low-hanging apples, the shifting scents wafting down from the atmospheric bubble. It was sunny and warm inside the grounds. I wondered if it was raining outside, if people were huddled under awnings in the city and shivering from the cold.
Roki and I walked until our legs got sore. Then we sat on the edge of the big marble pool Papa had built nearly forty years ago, when he had become clan leader of Gaard. There were fish in the pool, little blue ones swimming in circles and big yellow ones with bulging eyes, sucking the film off the bottom.
“So much simpler to be a fish,” I said. “There are no fish heirs, no king or queen ruling over all the other fish, no Aska training or moral code to uphold. Yes, I think I would like to be a fish.”
“Me too,” Roki said. “It never ceases to amaze me how much in sync we are. It’s like we share the same mind.”
“Isn’t that a scary thought!” I told him. “Can you imagine sharing your mind with someone else, someone living inside your brain, inside your skin? I can’t. I prefer you just the way you are, our thoughts intertwined, and our fingers too.”
He squeezed my hand and I squeezed back. It was so nice in the sun, the fish darting around our feet in the water. The Protectors were out of sight. There was no one around.
Still, my thoughts drifted. “Maybe I would be better off training with the Grucken than getting married off to a stranger,” I said. “He is the guardian of Decens-Lenitas, after all, the most respected person aside from the king and queen. Oh, and aside from Lordin. She might be the most respected person in the world. And she trained with the Grucken!”
“The Grucken only accepts one intern per year,” Roki said. “But I know he would select you. I’ve heard all he does is look in an applicant’s eyes. He knows just from their eyes if they are the one to be trained. I’m sure he would take one look at your pretty amber eyes and know immediately. You’d be the next Lordin.”
“I wish,” I said. “She’s not even an heir. I wonder who she’ll marry. Surely someone important. Surely one of the clan heirs will take her for themselves to gain a better position for the seat of power, to be king. Her moral code is higher than anyone’s. Plus she is loved by everyone in Geniverd. They watch every move she makes on their visins. She’s the most popular person on this planet.”
“I know,” he said dryly. “I’ve seen it. They look at the girl like she’s a goddess. But is she really? Be careful who you idolize, Kaelyn. People are different in their souls.”
I frowned at him. “Now you sound like Mama. Soon you’re going to be warning me about the dangers of natural birth, how I need to freeze my eggs at the clinic, how I need to prepare what genes I want edited in my baby, and insisting I get all my vaccines so I don’t die of a superbug. Or worse, soon you’ll be warning me of the dangers of the Gurnots!”
“I’d never,” he said, so seriously I furrowed my brows at him.
“You don’t side with those … those Gurnots, do you?” I asked.
“Eh.” Roki shrugged. “They aren’t that bad.”
“They’re terrorists!” I almost shouted. “They’re fire starters! Haven’t you seen the news reports? They burned down another seaside estate this week. It was lucky the estate had just emptied for the season, or people could have died.”
“Maybe,” Roki said, his tone a little too relaxed for the topic of death. “Or maybe it was intentionally like that. They may seem like terrorists to you, Kaelyn, but to others, they represent change. Change for the people of Geniverd. I know the Nurlie Islanders support them. A lot of people do. Much of the world views Decens-Lenitas as an oppressive moral standard. They want to be rid of it. They are tired of this lopsided rule, these rich families who inherit power and then pass the power along. Nobody even knows where their power and wealth came from anymore!”
“What about the wars?” I asked. I could hardly believe what Roki was saying. “Aside from the Gurnots stirring up trouble, there haven’t been major conflicts in two hundred years, because of our moral standards. Would you see people die?”
“No way.” Roki looked at me, his eyes powerful in a way I hadn’t noticed before. I thought they could make me do anything. He seemed so serious. “Gurnots are against classism, which is promoted by Decens-Lenitas. I hate the idea of hurting people. That’s why I think we need change, so people don’t get hurt. Maybe you’ll be the one to do it once you’re queen.”
I sighed. “Sure, with you as my mistress.”
We laughed. We held hands. We kicked our feet
