Lots of messages between you and Greg last night. What happened to standing on your own two feet?
Someone wasn’t happy. Letting Maddie know she was aware of their messages, a little like she was pissing on a lamppost outside Maddie’s door, marking her territory.
She shoved her phone back in her bag and headed out the door.
*
Although the sun was shining, Maddie felt some of her excitement wane as soon as she stepped outside with Ben in his pushchair. He’d flashed her a rare smile when she’d collected him from Jade, who had been almost embarrassed at the events of the night before and practically shoved Maddie and Ben out of the flat. As Maddie opened the door to the main building, two women stood back to let her past, then headed inside. Maddie hadn’t seen them about before and assumed they were friends of Luke as they both headed upstairs, chattering away.
Interesting. He seemed so shy and awkward. Or were they friends of Jade’s? Was that why she was so keen to get rid of her and Ben? Maddie felt like she had been shooed away, as though Jade hadn’t wanted her friends to see Maddie for some reason.
Feeling irked at Jade’s rejection, Maddie headed off down the street, but her mood dropped even further as a tickling feeling tripped over her, like she was being watched. She couldn’t quite see around a parked van to determine whether it was Jade watching from her window or not. Maybe it was – checking to make sure they’d crossed the road safely. Maddie knew she would be doing the same thing, not wanting to let Ben out of her sight for a minute, worrying about him until he was returned to her safely. But that contradicted her bundling them out of the door. Maybe she was making sure they had definitely left the building then?
The feeling unnerved her and as she walked further down the street, it followed her, like a spectral breath on the back of her neck. She spun around quickly but there was no one behind her or following her. A car pulled out of the side street she had just passed and for a brief second Maddie thought it looked like Gemma’s Range Rover. Then she dismissed that idea too – Gemma had just texted her, so she surely wasn’t following her around in her car. And what reason would she have to do that anyway? There was nothing about Maddie that Gemma could ever find threatening, surely.
She shrugged it off, told herself she was just on edge because she was alone with Ben and carried on walking, but her pace quickened a little all the same.
The community hall was buzzing with noise and activity by the time she arrived. Little children ran in and around each other, climbing on chairs and crawling under the tables. It immediately made her feel better. However, Ben sat in his pushchair in the doorway with wide eyes as Maddie kneeled down to unclip his safety straps.
‘There we go, Ben. Out you come.’ She offered him her hand and he pulled on it to stand up. ‘Let’s get that coat off you.’ The room was stifling, the central heating notched up too far, and Maddie could feel sweat trickle down her spine underneath her jumper. She unzipped his padded coat and pulled it from his arms.
He stood watching the children zoom around him, not ready to engage with them just yet. Maddie’s heart ached. ‘What would you like to play with?’
He looked at her, then pointed at a table in the corner where there was some paper and crayons.
‘That looks like fun! Would you like me to come with you?’
He nodded and he led her by the hand to the table. He pulled out the miniature plastic chair and sat down very studiously before pulling a piece of paper towards himself and picking up a royal blue crayon.
Maddie stepped to the side and watched him as he pulled the colour across the paper with fervour, then set the blue aside in favour of a yellow crayon.
A little girl ran up, looked curiously at what he was doing and sat down on the chair opposite him. The crayon in Ben’s hand stilled for a second, then he continued to draw a yellow circle on the blue background. Maddie thought it looked like he was drawing a sun.
A woman came to stand next to Maddie. ‘Hi, I’m Chloe. That’s my daughter, Polly.’
‘Hi,’ Maddie replied. ‘I’m Maddie. I’m here with Ar— um,’ she coughed, ‘Ben.’
‘He’s a sweetie, isn’t he? So quiet compared to the other boys here.’
‘Yes, he’s quite sensitive.’
‘Jade not here this week then?’
‘I wanted to bring him today, just wanted to spend some time with him.’
‘That’s so nice, getting to spend time with you. Jade can—’ Whatever she was going to say was cut off by a loud female voice thundering over them, telling them to gather on the carpet as the session was about to begin. Chloe smiled and shrugged as her daughter grabbed her hand and dragged her away.
Maddie couched down next to Ben again and said, ‘Shall we find a place to sit? The music is starting.’
He got to his feet and handed her the picture he had drawn. There was a blue sky and a yellow egg shape for a sun and what looked like two people holding hands. ‘That’s fantastic, Ben! Is that you and Mummy?’
He nodded.
‘You are very good at drawing. She will love it.’
She sat on the carpet with crossed legs and Ben crawled up into her lap and leant against her. Maddie didn’t want to move or breathe in case he pulled away. A glow spread through her.
The woman taking the session had a habit of bursting into song at every opportunity and Ben giggled, sang and clapped his hands along with the other children. He looked happy and relaxed, clearly enjoying every minute.
Afterwards, as she clipped
