We both watch with big eyes as she leaves the restaurant.
“What the hell was that about?” Jax asks.
“Beats me. She’s been weird, lately. I think maybe her and Eli got into it or somethin’ when they were both in Florida.”
“She’s never said anything?”
I shrug. “Nope. The only thing I know about Florida is she was plannin’ on livin’ there indefinitely, and ended up comin’ home. Other than that, she doesn’t talk about it.”
“Hmm. Who knows.” He takes a bite of his food. “You sure you can’t come tonight? You’re really gonna leave me all alone?”
“You’re a big boy, Jax. I’m sure you’ll find somethin’ to do.”
“I suppose I’ll have to,” he pouts.
I try to pay attention to Jax for the rest of brunch, but my mind is busy replaying Becca’s actions. She’s always been as stubborn as the day is long, so when she doesn’t want to talk about something there’s no changing her mind. But I wish she’d tell me about Florida. I thought she only saw Eli a handful of times, but her reaction makes it seem like more. I make a mental note to ask Eli next time I talk to him.
Enchiladas are on the menu for Saturday night dinner, courtesy of Chase. I haven’t cooked a single thing all week, and I’ve gotten a solid eight hours of sleep each night, so I’m feeling better than I have in a while. Still, this weird family dynamic with Chase and Daddy should have alarm bells sounding in my head. Maybe this fuzzy feeling of comfort is making my ears numb to the ringing.
I’ve just taken my first bite of enchilada when the doorbell rings. I look over at Daddy, furrowing my eyebrows. “You expectin’ someone, Daddy?”
“Who would I be expectin’, Alina?” he barks.
The bell rings again. Chase stands before I can, putting his hand on my shoulder to keep me in place. I sit back down, keeping my ears strained so I can hear who it is.
“What the fuck are you doing here?”
Shoot. I know that voice. My fork drops to the plate and I close my eyes. I should have known this would happen. Before I can think about going to defuse the situation, footsteps come stomping through the hallway and a raging Jax enters the kitchen.
“Can I speak to you for a moment?” he hisses through clenched teeth.
“Sure.” I scoot my chair back, laying my napkin on the table. Chase is standing behind Jax, his fists clenched and hazel eyes stormy as they bounce between the two of us.
Jax knocks into his shoulder as he walks by. I cringe, expecting Chase to react, but he doesn’t. He stands stoic, only the twitching of his jaw letting me know he’s holding himself back. I follow Jax to the front porch where he spins around and faces me with a glare.
“This is why you couldn’t hang out with me tonight?”
“I told you I was gonna be here with Daddy.” My voice is weak. I’ve never seen Jax upset like this.
“And you didn’t think to mention you were playing house with Chase?”
“I’m not playin’ house with him. He’s just been showin’ up. Helpin’ out. It’s not like I invited him over.”
“But you didn’t tell him to leave.”
I look down, the guilt chiseling away at my insides. “No.”
He lets out a disbelieving laugh, his hands on the top of his head. “I can’t believe this, Lee. I mean, what the fuck?”
Guilt morphs into indignation at his tone. I get that he’s upset about Chase, but it isn’t his decision. It isn’t his life. “Listen, you don’t get to be mad at me, Jax. I didn’t tell you because it’s none of your business.”
He rears back. “None of my business? Was it my business when you used my shoulder to cry on every time we’d go visit him?”
“Jax—”
“No.” He cuts his hand through the air. “Let me ask you something, Lee. When he fucked around on you the same night your mom died... who was it that held you? Because it sure as shit wasn’t him. Was it my business, then?”
Tears well in my eyes, the words dying on my tongue. “Jax…” I whisper.
His cheeks are rosy with his anger and he steps in close to me, lowering his voice. “Is it really that easy?”
“Is what that easy?”
“To forgive him? To take him back like nothing happened?”
“I’m not with him, Jax. It’s not like that, I swear. We’ve just been friends and—”
“I’ve waited years for you to give me a chance, Alina. Hoping that he’d loosen his grip on your heart enough to just let you fucking see me.” He beats his chest. “He treated you like shit, and somehow you still choose him over me. Every time. Less than a month he’s been back, and you just open your arms to him.” He raises his face to the sky. “You’ve never even given me your hand.”
I feel like I might throw up. I swallow around the knot in my throat, searching for words to make this okay. To stop from breaking his heart. “Jax, I… you know I love you.”
He blows out a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Just not as much as you love him, right?”
My clammy hands wring together. “Don’t do that. It’s different.”
His fingers tease the chain around his neck as he hangs his head, shaking it slightly. “I’m gonna go.”
He stomps by me and I reach out, grabbing the back of his shirt, trying to anchor him to me. “You’re my best friend.”
“I don’t want to just be your friend.”
I close my eyes, the truth of his words stabbing me. I’ve known it, and I should have put a stop to his feelings long before now. “Do you hate me?” I hiccup.
He spins, reaching up and wiping under my eyes. “I could never hate you, sweetheart. That’s the problem.” With a sigh, he kisses my forehead and walks down the steps of the front porch. I watch helplessly as he peels out
