I’ve been eager all weekend to get back to Sugarlake. Back to Goldi. Now that it’s Monday, I’m tempted to go straight to the studio where the guys are already working, but I need to stop at the office and do a few things first.
I’m rushing around, fumbling through the papers on my desk when Sam walks in. He makes himself comfortable on my office couch, crossing his ankle on his knee.
I give a wave. “Hey.”
“Hey, son. Just checking in. How are things going with Tiny Dancers?”
“Great. We’re ahead of schedule.”
“I saw that. I knew you’d knock it out of the park. The owner giving you any flack?”
“Naw, I don’t really see her too often.” I narrow my eyes at him. Does he know about Goldi working there? “You’ll never guess who the office manager is.”
“Who?”
“Alina.”
He sits forward, uncrossing his legs. “Craig’s daughter, Alina?”
I can feel the happiness on my face as I think about her. Damn, I can’t wait to see her.
Sam watches me, his jaw pinching more with every moment. “Be careful, Chase.”
“What do you mean ‘be careful?’”
“I mean… last time things went south with Alina, you disappeared for eight years. We just got you back. It would break Anna’s heart if you were to leave again.”
My smile drops along with my stomach. I thought it was beyond obvious the downfall of our relationship was on me. The fact he’s insinuating otherwise is fucking crazy. “Are you blaming Alina?”
He watches me carefully. “I blame the circumstances. Anna still has a hard time accepting that Alina ran you out of town.”
“She didn’t run me out of town. With all due respect, Sam, you and Anna have no clue what you’re talking about.”
“Because you’ve never told us,” he points out. “Forgive me for being wary, we were left to make our own assumptions. The heartbreak was written all over your face, Chase.”
I’m sure it was. I remember what it felt like—can’t imagine how it came across to others.
Sam’s eyes soften. “I’ve always loved Alina, you know that. I’m just saying maybe the two of you are better apart than together. Don’t put everything you’ve worked for in jeopardy because of some feelings from back when you were a kid.”
My mind is in a whirlwind. I’m shocked this is even a conversation.
“A lot of things happened, and I know I never opened up to you or Anna. But I’ll say this, and I’ll say it to Anna too… and please, listen close because I really don’t want to have the conversation again. Alina was not the problem. She was damn near perfect. It was all me. I was the fuck-up. So if you’re gonna place blame somewhere, make sure it’s in the right direction.”
Sam rubs the back of his neck as he nods.
“Speaking of Alina, how come you didn’t tell me about Mr. Carson?”
Sam’s face pinches. “What do you mean?”
I need to be cautious in my approach here. I probably shouldn’t have said anything because I have a feeling he doesn’t know, but I can’t help but want to pry a bit.
My chin raises and I squint my eyes. “What do you think I mean?”
“I have no damn clue,” Sam laughs. “The truth is, after you left it was hard for us to stay close with Craig. He was grieving, and being around Alina was hard for us. Especially for Anna. Can’t really look at the girl and not feel the loss of both you and Lily.”
My heart weighs heavy with his words, stomach sinking at the realization of how much my actions affected the way they are with Mr. Carson. With Goldi. “But you still saw Mr. Carson here at work, didn’t you?”
Sam’s head shakes and he purses his lips. “He took personal time after Gail’s funeral and never came back. I’ve thought a million times about reaching out over the years, but I never know what to say. Other than a wave here and there when I see him in the neighborhood, we haven’t really talked.”
I’m surprised as hell they didn’t try harder with Mr. Carson. Honestly, I’m a little disappointed. But this does answer my question.
Sam doesn’t know about his drinking.
Goldi’s avoiding me. Instead of the shy smiles and eye contact that heats my veins, we’re back to cold shoulders and turned heads. I’m willing to bet it’s because of Jax. Once again, I feel like her dirty little secret and the feeling fucking sucks. I don’t want to come between her and Jax, even though the thought of them together makes me fucking crazy. Okay, that’s a lie. I’d love to come between them—make her realize it’s us who are meant to be, but I’m not going to do that. If he makes her happy, I’ll suffer through her friendship for the rest of my life and find a way to be content.
Work is busy, so I don’t push a conversation with Goldi. If she wants to pretend we’re back to being strangers, I’ll let her be. But if she thinks I’m not showing up to her dad’s tonight, she’s in for a shock. As long as I can help, I will.
There isn’t much conversation during dinner. Mr. Carson’s in one of his moods and has learned quickly if he has nothing nice to say to Alina,
