“I know.” She nods. “You love her more than you love us.”
My stomach sinks at her words. I fucking hate this. “I love you. You have been the best mom a guy could ask for.”
She gasps. It’s the first time I’ve said the words. The first time I’ve called her mom. I pull her in for a hug and she collapses against my chest. I hold her close, years of my mistakes and her longing culminating as tear stains on my shirt. After a few moments, she sniffles and pulls back.
I hold her by her shoulders. “I’m in love with her. Try to understand, Anna, please. My world was black for so long, you know?”
“And she’s the light?” Anna asks softly.
“She’s every star in the sky.”
Anna nods, wiping her tears and heading to the back patio to let Sam and Goldi know it’s time for dinner. I set the table, my stomach rumbling from the smell of Anna’s cooking. It’s one of the things I’ve missed most over the years. There’s a lot of takeout in my life when she isn’t there to feed me.
For the first half of dinner, we talk about Sam’s retirement party. It’s this Saturday, so Anna is trying to get all the last-minute details sorted. She’s excited, almost bouncing out of her seat when she talks. Sam, on the other hand, isn’t. I know for a fact he would rather not be retiring at all, but he’s doing it to appease Anna. Happy wife, happy life. Goldi and I haven’t even talked about the party, but she doesn’t seem surprised, so I’m assuming her family got the invite. I wonder if Mr. Carson plans on going. No one knows about his drinking, and I’m pretty fucking positive he’s past the point of being able to fake it.
There’s a lull in the conversation, and I know this is my chance. Nausea rages through my gut, and my knee hits the bottom of the table from my jitters. It doesn’t matter, my nerves won’t stop me from this. Now that I know Lily’s in Arizona, I won’t be able to rest until I make sure she’s okay.
“So.” I clear my throat. “Something interesting happened. I want to talk to you guys about it, but I’m not really sure how to bring it up.” I clench my fork, the metal stinging as it presses into my palm.
Anna places her napkin in her lap. “You know you can tell us anything, Chase.”
“Right.” I nod. “I ran into someone who knows Lily.”
The table goes mute. Anna’s smile drops and Sam’s shoulders stiffen.
Goldi reaches over and links our fingers, giving me the strength to continue. “He told me she’s in Arizona. Or at least, that she was a few months back.”
Sam leans forward, his elbows on the table, his attention rapt. “How does he know that? She still talks to him?”
“I don’t know, I wasn’t exactly in the best frame of mind for asking questions.” Even thinking about that motherfucker makes the rage bubble in my veins.
“Hmm.” Sam’s eyes are calculating. Anna is still frozen in her seat, her face drawn.
I look between them. “Do you guys still look for her? Has she ever reached out to you?”
Sam’s eyes droop like he’s disappointed I’d ask. “You really think we wouldn’t tell you that, son?”
“I wasn’t exactly open to hearing about her. Talking about her is hard for me.” I squeeze Goldi’s hand tight, using her to anchor me. “I’ve been thinking about hiring a private investigator.”
Sam leans back in his seat, sighing. “We hired one a few years back. He looked for over a year, but he never found anything.”
Goldi pipes in. “Do you think it would help if he knew she might be in Arizona? You know, somethin’ concrete to go on?”
Sam considers her words. “It’s possible.” He looks to Anna, who is stone still, silent as a lamb. “I think his name was Don something. Based in Nashville. He’s a bit seedy, but apparently, he’s the best. I’ll find his info and give it to you. Maybe you’ll have more luck than we did.”
I nod, my heart rising to my throat with the thought of finding Lily. It doesn’t settle back in my chest—even after I go home, sleep and get ready for work the next day.
After dinner, I thought I’d be able to talk everything through with Goldi. But then Becca called. I could hear her screeching from the driver’s side of the truck, and when Goldi turned her worried look my way, I knew I was losing her to her best friend for the night.
I haven’t seen her yet today. I’m supposed to be taking lunch, but I’m stuck staring at the contact info Sam just forwarded to my phone. Looks like I’m about to call this Don Calhoune guy. Sam warned me again that he’s a bit sketchy. I don’t give a fuck if he’s the slimiest crook in the world as long as he can find my sister.
With shaky fingers, I press call and bring the phone up to my ear.
It rings… once… twice… three times, before it stops.
“Mason.”
I pull the phone away from my ear, squinting at the screen. Mason?
“Yeah, hi. I’m trying to reach a Don Calhoune? I was told this was his contact information.”
“Uh-huh. And what do you want with Don?”
“I’d rather keep that between Don and myself.”
“Well, considering that you called my number, asking me questions—that doesn’t put you in a very good spot to make any demands, now does it?”
Is this guy fucking serious?
I sigh, exasperated already. “I’m calling for business. He did some work for my family in the past, and I’d like to hire him again.”
“Mmhm. You lookin’ to find someone or to get lost?”
The lines between my eyebrows crease. “I need to find someone. Listen, can you just put Don on the phone, or take a fucking
