“She doesn’t.” I shake my head. “Answer the question.”
“God, what are you, my father?” she snaps.
I lean back and raise both my eyebrows, because what the fuck.
“Yes, okay?” she continues, rolling her eyes. “I was at Becca’s with Lee last night. We stole some wine coolers from her mom’s hidden stash, and my head is pounding, so just lay off a little.”
She’s avoiding my stare, her eyes bouncing around the room like she can’t decide where to focus.
I lean forward, resting my elbows on the table. “You’re lying.”
Her body stills. “I’m not.”
“You’re telling me if I walk over to Goldi’s right now, and ask her about last night, she’ll have the same story?”
“Obviously.”
I rub my chin. “And they both were drinking, too?”
“Mmhm.” She nods. “You gonna go over there and give them the third degree, too?”
I’m pretty sure she’s full of shit, but I won’t push her anymore. I reassure myself that if something serious was going on, she would confide in me. We’ve been one another’s source of support our entire lives, no way that will change.
Sighing, I stand up. “Whatever you say, Lil.”
I leave Lily to wallow in her self-imposed misery and grab my keys, heading to the house behind Goldi’s. Time to introduce myself.
It’s a few days later when I realize I might have been a bit preemptive in my assumption that Jackson was a prick. We’ve been hanging out, mainly at his place while he works on restoring the ‘67 Mustang Fastback his dad left him. His mom isn’t around much due to the fact she works twelve-hour days, three times a week as a nurse, and picks up shifts as a bartender at Mac’s Dive here in town.
“How come your mom works so much?” I ask. It’s a hot August afternoon, and we’re sitting on his back deck, sipping beer he charmed one of the housewives in town to buy us.
“So we can live like kings, man.” He spreads his arms wide, looking around, a carefree smile on his face.
“Clearly.”
“She won’t be. Not for much longer. As soon as I convince them to hire me as a mechanic at the shop in town, I’ll do enough to support us both.” His fingers tighten around his beer bottle. “Our healthcare system is fucked, you know? When my dad got sick, it was… aggressive. We spent every dollar to our name doing whatever we could, just to give us one more day.” He shakes his head and drains his beer, grabbing at the chain underneath his shirt. “But cancer’s a business in this country, just like everything else.”
Our conversation is interrupted by loud laughter and a slamming door. I glance toward the noise, my heart beating faster because I just know that’s Goldi out there. I can feel it. I focus on the condensation from my beer bottle dripping onto my fingers to keep myself from doing something insanely stupid, like jumping the fence, apologizing for ignoring her, and shoving my tongue down her throat. I look back up and Jax is watching me, a knowing glint in his eyes.
“What?” I snap, setting my beer on the table.
“Nothing, man.” He raises his hands up in surrender like he wasn’t just staring a hole through me. “It’s just interesting, you know? I could have sworn Miss Alina May said you were her best friend when she pranced her cute little ass over here bringing me baked goods, but you haven’t mentioned her once.”
My body coils tighter with each word he says.
“Honestly, I got the idea in my head that maybe there was something between the two of you. I mean, what sixteen-year-old guy can hang out with a girl like that and not want to get it in, you know?”
Nope, I was right the first time. He’s a fucking prick.
“But I’m happy she’s still up for grabs,” he continues, oblivious to the wrath building inside me. “I’m gonna snatch that up before some other guy has the chance.”
I’m imagining my fist meeting his face in vivid detail. Maybe breaking his legs so he can’t go anywhere near her when he throws his head back and laughs. “You should see the look on your face.”
I grimace, unclenching my hands from where they had a bruising grip on the arms of my chair. They tingle as the blood rushes back into them, and I take deep breaths to calm back down.
“I should fuck you up,” I say, running a hand through my hair.
He’s still laughing when he stands, pausing by my chair and clapping a hand on my shoulder. “I’m just messing with you, bro. But you should figure your shit out and either lock that down or move the hell on because believe me when I say, a girl like that? She won’t stay single for long. You want another beer?”
I nod stiffly, his words running through my mind on a loop. He’s not wrong. It’s unrealistic to think there won’t be a guy. I groan, throwing my head back. The thought of having to watch someone else touch her makes me sick to my stomach. But I’m no good. I’ll hold on too tight and suffocate her with my need to stay close. To never leave.
She deserves more than that—more than me. She deserves the soft and sweet kind of love. So, even though it fucking kills me, I’ll stand back and let someone be that for her.
I drain the rest of my beer, the jealousy rising up my throat like acid.
I’ve been staying strong, keeping away from Goldi. For three weeks, anytime I’ve seen her, I turn and walk the other way. But it doesn’t stop my heart from reaching out for hers, trying to match its rhythm.
Tonight though, I’m too weak to resist. It’s been a shit day with shit memories, and I’m suffocating without her.
As I open her window and climb inside, I tell myself that tomorrow I’ll throw my feelings in a box and lock it up tight.
Tomorrow, I’ll be
