I hurt her.
Punch.
In my dream.
Punch.
A year ago.
Punch.
Just now walking away from her.
Punch.
I’m a fucking asshole.
Punch.
I’m slowly running out of steam as I hit the bag with so much force, it sways hard, but I can’t move out of the way quick enough before it flies back collecting me and knocking me on my ass. I fall to the ground panting for breath, trying to gather my thoughts. Bringing my knees up, I rest my head in my bloodied hands, trying to keep my shit together, but I’m failing.
I’m losing control.
I need to numb the searing pain in my chest.
I care about Prinie too fucking much.
That dream broke something inside of me.
I don’t ever want to experience the pain I felt when I saw her lying there lifeless in place of my mother.
The vision of her body flashes back in my mind as I let out a staggered breath.
What kind of fucking monster am I?
PRINIE
The Next Morning
Trying to sleep last night was useless. I thought Wraith might come back seeing as his cut, shoes, and shirt are all here, but nothing. I haven’t seen him for hours, not since I left him downstairs, then Phantom followed me up to check on me.
He’s a really good guy.
Always seems to be there in the wake of a Wraith storm.
Phantom sat with me until I felt calm enough to go to sleep. I didn’t tell him anything, not about our fight, if that’s what you can call it because I don’t even know if it qualifies. It’s more about Wraith shutting down and pushing me out. Yet again. I certainly wouldn’t tell Phantom anything Wraith told me in confidence. No fucking way. It’s not my story to tell. But it’s safe to say Phantom had gathered Wraith and I had been together. It was glaringly obvious. But he didn’t pry, just kept the topic light and tried to make me laugh.
But in the light of the morning, my head’s telling me everything Wraith and I shared last night wasn’t enough for him. I’m not enough for him to completely open up to me. Something happened. He dreamed about something which scared him, and even after everything he opened up to me about, he still managed to revert back to his old ways and shut down completely.
We were on the right path.
But he doesn’t want to try.
So why should I?
Standing from my bed, I walk over to my closet, ripping open the door with so much force the hinges squeal in disapproval. I reach inside for my bag, open it up and start hurling clothing inside. “Stupid, stubborn asshole. I’ll show him,” I say probably louder than I meant to as I shove in a sweater I don’t even need.
The door to my room creaks open.
I pause, waiting to see who the fuck is coming in without knocking.
Koda pops his head around, his eyes flare as he flings the door open wide and storms in, anger sweeping across his features. “So, shit gets tough, and you’re gonna bail on me, too?”
My chest squeezes in instant regret. Dammit! I didn’t stop to think about Koda in my haste to get out of here.
“You can come with me. In fact, you should. This club is a piece of shit. Everything about it is a shitshow.”
Koda bursts out laughing. “This club is home. You need to embrace it.” I stop packing as he walks to me. “I know you and Wraith have a lot going on. I’m not blind. But running every time shit doesn’t go your way is only going to keep you constantly fucking running.”
“Language, Koda!” I exhale as I reprimand him, then turn and walk over to my bed. I take a seat running my fingers down my thighs as he sits with me. “You’re right… I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore.”
“No one does. It’s called life!”
“When did you get so smart?”
“Watching you and Zero constantly fuck up.”
“You’re really starting to grow up, you know that?”
“I know. Now unpack, then come downstairs and play a game of pool with me. You need to unwind.”
“I’m just gonna kick your ass,” I tease.
“I know, but I will make this sacrifice for you. This time!”
Standing, I grab my bag upending it in the bottom of my closet.
Koda laughs while shaking his head. “And you wonder why we were living week to week in Chicago. You’re so unorganized.”
I scoff, kicking the clothes inside the door, quickly shutting it so I can’t see the mess. “I resent that remark, or maybe it should be I resemble that remark.” We both laugh.
Koda stands, walks with me, and we head for the hall. “C’mon. Everyone will be rising for the day. Let’s get to the pool table before Chains and Luc hog it all day.”
I snicker because it’s true. Those brothers from Chicago do love to play pool.
We head down the stairs, my senses on high alert searching the room for Wraith, but he’s nowhere to be seen. Thankfully.
Koda and I head to the empty pool table. He picks up a cue, hurtling it at me, and I grab it with a giggle. “Trying to put me off, little brother?”
“I gotta try and win somehow,” he quips.
“Rack ‘em up,” I call out.
He grabs the balls and the triangle pulling them all together at the head of the green felt.
Koda’s right, this is relaxing me from whatever the fuck state I was in before he came into my room. He lines up the white ball on the dot,
