I tug on her hair, whisper her name through clenched teeth, and she knows it’s time to stop if she wants to keep this going any longer.
Her body is pressed against mine again, she whispers in my ear, I hear the words “pill,” I hear the word “clean,” I’m nodding and saying “yes, fuck yes.” Because yes. Fuck yes. This woman is just full of great ideas, and I like her so much.
She places one hand flat on my chest for leverage and wraps the other around my rock-hard cock, lowering herself carefully and slowly. We’re both holding our breaths, because that’s what you do when you know your life is about to change. That’s not an exaggeration. I mean, I really wanted that bike when I was eight, but I have never wanted anything more than I’ve wanted to come inside Maddie Cooper.
When she’s finally lowered herself down onto me and wriggled around a tiny bit to make herself comfortable, and drive me just a little bit crazier, we both exhale. She leans back, resting her hands on my thighs, tits swollen and silently begging for me. She rocks her hips, nice and slow. I reach up to cup her breasts, because no man on earth could resist them, but I’m the only one who gets to touch them now.
Finally, because I’m still me, I break the silence with: “I thought we said no Christmas presents.”
“Shhh. Don’t talk. Just let me do this.”
“Not even dirty talk?”
She thinks about it for a hot second and then shakes her head and covers my mouth with her hand.
“Roger that,” I mumble. She doesn’t want me to talk right now because everything I say makes her like me more. So I will save the dirty talk for later. For now, I let her do this. I let her do that. I’ll let her do whatever she wants. There are a million things I want to say to her, but I have to tell her this one thing right now. “You are so fucking beautiful, Maddie.” I wrap one hand around the back of her neck and pull her down for a kiss. Hard and fast, and then I let her go.
It sets her on fire, and she bears down on me. Nice and slow becomes swift and feverish. Back and forth, round and round, up and down. She’s unhinged, stunning, and I wish there were more light so I could really see her right now because I bet she’s radiant.
God, I want to come, but I would rather die than come before she does.
So I’m mentally reciting the employee dating policy in the Sentinel human resources handbook and wondering if I’m too big of an ass to be able to maintain a good relationship with my assistant while we’re working together. I know the answer, and I don’t like it. But it just makes me want to give her all I’ve got to give right now.
Shhh. Don’t talk, Maddie reminds me in my head. Just let me do this. If that’s all I ever have to do—keep my mouth shut and let her do whatever she needs to do—then I might actually be able to make this work.
She slows and sways, and I force my eyes open so I can watch in awe as the waves of orgasm take over her body. My name escapes her lips, mingles with some fucks, a few Oh Gods, and when she reaches a crescendo, that’s when it’s time for me to take over her body.
I get her on her back, lift one leg to rest it on my shoulder, and drive into her.
Thrusting and grunting like I’m trying to save both of our lives, and maybe I am.
She screams my name, and only my name, and that’s more like it.
Tight and wet and mine. Mine to infuriate, mine to please, and mine to empty myself into until all that’s left is a groan and her name on my lips and a silent prayer to one day tell her how I really feel. Out loud. Fearlessly. Because it already feels like a lie of omission.
But what’s true and good and real right now is this sweet release and the way she holds me tight, cooing and encouraging me to come for her.
And I do.
I come for her.
I come for me.
I come for the man I want to be for her and the us that I always saw us becoming.
The dark, quiet stillness that follows the blast is sweet relief and instant regret at the same time.
Because I can’t ask her to stay here with me instead of spending Christmas with her family.
And I can’t tell her just how lonely I’ll be at the office without her.
And I can’t ask her to invite me to her family dinner.
So I say nothing.
She says nothing.
We catch our breaths.
We’ll catch our separate flights back to New York.
And I’ll keep pretending that it’s my brother’s wedding that I need Maddie for and not every damn thing that makes my life worth living.
Chapter Twenty-Six
MADDIE: You asshole!!! We said no Christmas presents!
DECLAN: You said no exchanging of Christmas presents. We aren’t exchanging gifts. I ordered you something last week, and you did not get anything for me. Who’s the asshole now?
MADDIE: <woman facepalming emoji> I didn’t want you to feel obligated to get me anything. Did you have Mrs. Pavlovsky put this in here?
DECLAN: Yes. I mean, I had her let the delivery guys in and tell them where to put it. I didn’t make an old lady move and set up a punching bag. I’m not that big of an asshole.
MADDIE: Is that why you were looking around my apartment when you came over? To see if I
