He moved into mine, and it was so weird. Right until that moment, I had never lived with a guy. No never. My parents split up when I was young, although I visited my Dad most weekends but not all weekends. And I had a sister, therefore no official men were in the house. Apart from when my Dad would accidently come to drop something off and fall on top of my mother and we would see him the next day sneaking out of the house.
‘Oh, he forgot his watch earlier, when he dropped you off,’ Mum would say. Sis and I would look at each other and say, ‘Please.’
Months later, I discovered that Michelle was right, and I was the one in the wrong. I found out when we went to Michael’s wedding. He was a work colleague of Justin’s — they worked for years at UBS. When Justin left UBS, they still kept in touch. He was Michael’s best man. This is when I heard those faithful words, and decided I am in trouble. Thick, deep, unbelievable trouble.
‘Why you getting married Michael?
Marriage is for losers, and you are certainly not a loser.’ I heard these words as I picked Justin up from the dress rehearsal. He was serious, and he had this look in his eye, like of total disbelief, like why anyone would think about getting married. Michael replied, ‘I want to spend the rest of my life with her, that is why I am getting married, she is absolutely beautiful and I am in love, from head to toe.’
I did not say a word all the way home, or even after I picked Justin up from the dress rehearsal. I was too busy reciting.
Fuck, Fucking idiot, Fuck, Stupid woman, Fuck, Bloody Idiot, over and over again in my head.
‘Why do you keep nodding your head like that? Is something wrong?’ he asked. As I was getting more frustrated I started nodding my head. And shouting a bit, like some crazy person.
Only because I was crazy. What idiot lets a man move in and does not question the motive? Only a fool, and I was beginning to feel that I fit into that category.
I ignored the question, and the next thing I knew he was saying, ‘Should I tell Michael to give Tracey the invitations? She can be responsible for that, seeing as she is so good at it!’ We both laughed. Justin went on. ‘Tracey will never live that down. Can you believe that Naomi is still not talking to her? The only people that were at that church were her husband, children and her parents, because they followed her in the car. Everyone else went to the other church. Including her parents in law. What a muppet! What was she thinking?’
We arrived home. We had said that we would get somewhere else together.
Maybe rent until we are committed to buying another place, which in other words to him meant he wanted a get out clause, while for me, it meant that it would be temporary until we married and got somewhere together to buy.
Wish we had discussed it — for we both assumed two different things and only after we moved in together did we realise what the other person wanted, and what the whole moving in meant to each other. How could we never discuss it? To me, from the first time I asked him what we are doing, it was obvious, there was no need to discuss or think about the situation, we were together and we would move upwards and onwards.
What was there to discuss?
The same with him: he was in a situation and kept taking it that one step further. I mean, I never asked him out, he asked me out. I never asked him to move in. He asked me to move in. OK, the next stage neither one of us was there yet. I just knew that if by the time it was four years we have not
progressed, I would get down on one knee and if he were to say no, then it would be over. Plain and simple.
One night, we were in a club, and this girl walked over to him and they knew each other. Seemed like one of his exes.
I was able to tell by the way they looked at each other. Then the part he whispered in my ears, confirmed it. Why is it men can get over women so quickly? I mean, obviously she still had a thing for him but he was looking straight through her. Or was he looking at her tits?
Can’t tell!
Anyway, I was looking at her, dying to know her side of the story. I mean there are always two sides, but I would have loved to know what she said about the whole situation and if it was as clear-cut for her as it was for him. Who knows?
We never get to know the ex, they just become our rival, or the one that got away. Men are bitter when it comes to their exes, 10 years later, they come back to them expecting them to be sitting waiting to put up with their nonsense once again or think it is the womans fault for the end of the relationship. They never seem to take responsibility for the break-up!
I made attempts to go to the toilet hoping to catch a glimpse of her. I saw her sitting, and snogging a girl. So I decided I could not disturb her. Then I went back from the toilet and reunited with him. ‘I can see you made Angela gay, she is on the couch
