The cab pulled up outside the gates to the house and Matt threw some bills at the driver, then stood with me still in his arms.
“I c-can walk now. You can put me down.” I told him as we hit the cold night air.
“I’d rather keep you in my arms for now Livy. You’re shaking really badly.” He opened the gates with the code, then headed up the block paved drive. We were barely halfway to the house when the front door opened and Kyle came hurrying out, followed by Grant, and then Keira.
“Matt, what the fuck?” Kyle growled as he ran towards us. He was in sweat pants and a muscle tee, his bare feet padding through the light covering of snow.
“Son? What’s going on?” Grant asked as he fast approached too.
“I’m ok.” I tried to protest, to calm them all, but my throat hurt a lot and the words were little more than a quiet rasp.
“She says those memories are coming back. She got really sick outside the club and she’s been shaking for the last thirty minutes.” Matt explained. Before I knew what was happening, Kyle had taken me from Matt and I found myself pressed against him, surrounded by the smell that could only ever be him.
“Jesus Baby, you’re vibrating.” He gasped.
“I….I’m ok.” I tried again.
“Get her inside Kyle. It’s too cold out here.” Keira ordered as she too appeared before me. Needing no further prompting, Kyle set off rushing up the driveway and into the house. He lay me down on the sofa in the lounge, and started wrapping me in blanket after blanket. My shivering body wasn’t complaining though.
“The memories started resurfacing Honey?” Keira asked as she knelt on the floor before me.
“Yes. I….I remembered him being there, talking to me. I even started to recall the day we…....I escaped.” Matt sat on the sofa beside me, and lifted my feet onto his lap. He removed my heeled boots and started trying to rub heat back into my chilled feet.
“Did something trigger them, or did they just flash up, out of the blue?” I glanced first to Matt, then up to where Kyle and Grant stood over me. I don't know why, but I was ashamed to tell them about the girlfriend, worried they’d blame me too.
“It’s ok Liv, just tell us, Baby.” Kyle said. I dropped my gaze to the mustard coloured blanket that lay on top of all of the others, and focused on a pulled thread near the corner as I spoke.
“I…..I met someone….in the bathroom. She was just there…..waiting for me. She said…..she told me she was Chris’s girlfriend…..said it was my fault that he’d gone. She said it should have been me dead.” I admitted, my voice trembling.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Cariña?” Matt asked.
“I’m sorry. I know I should have. I just….I had to get away from her, then I got sick, then all of the memories started. I just l-lost it, Matt.”
“Ok Honey. No more worrying now. Take some deep breaths. Let’s just all calm down and get back some control, ok?” Keira said calmly, looking from me, to the guys.
“She was right.” I whimpered, unable to hold it in. “He had people who loved him. He sh-should have come back, not me.”
“Enough of that talk now, Olivia. You have people who love and depend on you here too. My boys would be lost if they hadn’t found you. You have become a huge part of this family that I simply will not even contemplate a life without. You can’t talk like that, Honey.
“That boy, Chris, he did what he did, knowing full well how it may end. He did it anyway, to get you out of there, and I’m pretty sure if he was half the boy he seems to have been, he’d be pretty mad to hear you wishing away the life he got you out for.
“His girlfriend is obviously hurting, and unfortunately she took it out on you tonight, but she is not right Olivia, and I don’t want to hear you thinking that again.” Keira said firmly.
“He was so kind to me, Keira. He tried so hard to make me smile, and make things better. He promised we would both get out. I just….I wish he got out too. It’s not fair.” I sobbed.
“Life is never fair, sweet girl. We just have to do the best we can, to manage what we get given. I know remembering all of this must hurt, and it will likely get worse yet, but just remember, you’re not alone. We’re all here to get you through it and above all else, remember you survived for a reason. You survived for these guys, for my boys. You came out of that Hell, to bring them the happiness they could never have found without you. You escaped because you have a wonderful, fulfilled life yet to live.”
“She’s right, baby. We need you and you know it.” Kyle agreed, and Matt nodded along with him.
“Just try to push it all aside for a while now, please Olivia. You need to try and calm down, get some deep breaths in before you hyperventilate.” I knew she was right, so I made myself block out my confusing thoughts, and battling emotions, and tried hard just to focus on the feel of Matt’s hands on my stockinged feet, and Keira's calm breaths beside me. My breaths gradually slowed and the shaking seemed to ease off some, though I still trembled pretty badly.
By the time I came back to myself, feeling a lot calmer, Grant had left the room, and Kyle had moved to sit in an armchair opposite me.
“That’s much better, Honey.” Keira said, with a smile. “How are you feeling now?”
“Calmer. Thank you. I’m
