“No, I guess not,” Sean said. At that moment, his phone rang a distinctive tune. His hand clenched into a fist. He picked up the phone and pressed a button to send the call straight to voicemail.
“Is that your brother trying to reach you?” Debra asked.
“Not my brother,” Sean said. “Just the mistakes of his past. And mine.” The last two words were muttered under his breath.
Debra reached for her iced tea. “One thing I’ve realized about mistakes is that sometimes they can be remedied by time and perspective. But sometimes, they can’t because there’s nothing wrong with your perspective to begin with.”
“Like Aidan.”
Debra nodded. “The mistake that turned out to be a blessing.”
“And Peter.”
“The mistake that remains a mistake to this day.”
“But they’re related.”
Debra shrugged and laughed. “Life is complicated that way.”
“So which is mine?”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Not on our first date, no.” He managed a tight smile. “I’d rather preserve the illusion that my life is perfectly under control, at least until our second date.”
“Well, you know my life. Control is mostly wishful thinking.”
“You never complain.”
Her eyes widened.
“Aidan tells me things. Other people tell me things. I see things. But you say nothing.”
“Well, if you’re hearing and seeing all these things, then there’s nothing more to say, right?”
“Don’t you ever succumb to self-pity? Others do.”
“I don’t have time. You’ve seen my day. Between the café, my extra hours at the clinic, Aidan, and starting my new business, it’s a good thing breathing is automatic, or I might forget to do it too. Though sometimes, at night, when it’s quiet…” She sucked in a shuddering breath. “Sometimes it’s tough at night when I’m alone with my thoughts.”
“Yeah. I know the feeling,” Sean said. His phone rang again. The same tune. His expression tightened, but he said nothing as he sent the call to voicemail.
“Are you sure you don’t want to pick it up?” Debra asked.
“I haven’t picked up for two months now. I’d like to keep it that way until the phone stops ringing.”
She nodded. “Okay. It’s just that I see you tense every time it rings. If I promise to go out on a second date with you, will you promise to reach out if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone about it?”
He stared at her. “The more I hang out with you, the more unreal you seem.”
“Me?”
“You’re so even-keeled.”
“It was hard-won, and some days are more difficult than others.”
“But you keep trying.”
“Don’t we all?”
“Some don’t. That’s why I’m glad you do. It’s refreshing being with someone who looks forward instead of staying trapped in the past.”
“I think children do that for you. They only look forward. It’s hard not to be swept up in their energy and joy. Even Aidan’s.”
“Aidan’s a great kid. Jewel adores him, of course.”
“I’m grateful for all the time you’re spending with him. He’s practically a different kid since Jewel. Since you. I wish I could tell you just how much difference you’ve made in two weeks.”
Sean swallowed hard. He reached across the table and set his hand over hers. The contact tingled. “You can’t possibly understand how much it means to me to hear that. All I ever wanted was to make a difference. I tried. For years, I tried and failed. I felt like a fool.”
“It’s not your job to fix everything.”
“Maybe.” His lips twisted again into a bittersweet smirk. “But when it’s family, it’s hard to walk away.”
“Yes, it is.” She thought of Aidan and wondered what kept Sean tied to the past.
Sean’s cell phone rang, although this time the tune was different. Sean glanced at the number and accepted the call. “Yeah, Jack?” He listened for a few minutes, and then looked at Debra. “Aidan’s at Jack’s place, playing video games with his three sons. Jack says he’ll give the boys dinner. Okay with you?”
Debra nodded.
“Sure thing,” Sean said into the phone. “We’ll swing by and pick him up on the way home.”
She relaxed into a happy smile as Sean disconnected the call. “Looks like Aidan had his happy birthday after all.”
“I’m glad. His father didn’t come, did he?”
Debra shook her head.
“I’m sorry.”
She shrugged dismissively, although it hurt deep inside. “I’m okay with not meaning anything to him. I just wish Aidan did.” She tossed her head. “This probably isn’t suitable first date conversation either.”
“Probably not.”
“It gave you a chance to save the day, though.”
He shrugged. “All I did was ask folks if we could move the firemen’s annual party over to your house.”
“You may not think it was a big deal, but it was. You’re always finding ways to make things better. I’ve noticed. And I’m grateful.”
“I’m…” He sucked in a deep breath. “I’m glad.” He glanced at his watch as the waitress came up with the check. “I think we’ll have time to take the slow walk around to Jack’s house. Are you up for it?”
“Sure.”
“Great.” Sean left cash to cover the bill and the tip, before reaching for Debra’s hand. The contact jolted through her, but his grip was light, making it easy for her to pull away or keep holding on.
She chose to hold on.
It felt the most natural thing in the world, walking along the pier, wrapped in each other’s company. The age difference that had seemed a big deal to her now seemed trite. It was, in fact, hard to recall why she had not recognized the possibilities of a relationship—other than the fact that she had been closed to them for more than eight years.
The night breeze was cold, but her jacket and the warmth of Sean’s body beside her kept her comfortable. His pace slowed at the edge of the pier, and she stopped beside him, staring at his profile as he looked out on the open sea. He looked relaxed, at peace.
“It must be great growing up here,” he murmured. “To always look out on infinite possibilities.”
Until recently, her possibilities hadn’t seemed infinite, but in the past week, they had grown
