For now, it was enough, since it was more than she had had in a long time.
But what do I do when I’m ready for more, when I’m ready for everything life could be?
Chapter 9
Over the next two months, Debra, Sean, and Aidan settled into a comfortable routine that had Jewel and Sean staying through the night at Debra’s home. Aidan had no complaints about sharing his bed with Jewel. In fact, he had scarcely reacted on that first morning when he had seen Sean at breakfast. “Where’s Jewel?” was his only question before he sat down and tackled the scrambled eggs and toast Debra had served for breakfast.
The little town of Havre de Grace hardly seemed to react when news got around that the new fireman had taken up with The Other Woman. The people who had gone to school with Debra and Holly were too busy with their own lives and young children to pay much attention. Patti only smiled. “About time.”
The elderly folks who frequented the café gestured to Debra to lean over so they could whisper in her ear, “He’s a keeper.”
Debra smiled. Apparently, Sean, with his easy-going local-boy attitude, had made a positive impression on the people of Havre de Grace.
His phone continued to ring in the mornings, evenings, and through the weekends—a distinctive tune that he had obviously set to indicate a caller he did not want to pick up. Debra couldn’t tune it out, not when he stiffened each time. Some days, the phone rang more frequently than others. Always, it beeped to indicate it had gone to voicemail.
Sean never picked up the phone, at least not that Debra had seen. If he listened to the voicemail, she wasn’t aware of it either. More than once, she had seen him delete voicemails without playing them. He never spoke about the phone calls. She didn’t ask. She knew she was deliberately turning a blind eye to issues in his past, but as long as they stayed there, as long as they had no bearing on the present, she did not want to disrupt the contentment they had found together.
And there was contentment—the simple pleasure of waking up together and of evenings cuddling on the couch in the living room while Aidan and Jewel dozed in a cozy heap on the carpet. And there was joy—the kind that made Debra break into a smile whenever her thoughts rested, however briefly, on how blessed she was.
Her first catering gig for Patti’s anniversary dinner had been an outstanding success. The large tip that Patti gave her was wonderful; the open praise and recommendations that followed were even better. Business trickled in, and two months after her first project, she had catered two more events and was submitting a bid for a small wedding party of fifty guests.
“Classy and intimate,” she told Sean as she relaxed against his chest late one evening after dinner was over and the kitchen had been cleaned. Their denim-clad legs extended along the length of the couch in a tangle of limbs. “What do you think of roast duck and an herb-crusted sole?”
“No red meat? Seriously? What kind of wedding dinner doesn’t serve red meat?”
“Your country boy mentality is showing,” Debra teased.
“Filet mignon with a red wine reduction.”
She swatted him with the piece of paper she had been using to make notes. “Do you even know what that means?”
“Saw it once on a menu. Tasted great. I’m sure you can figure it out. I’d be happy to sample your cooking and provide feedback.” His grin was wide enough to be a leer.
“I’m sure you would.” Debra glanced at her watch and looked down at her son, snuggling with his now-large puppy on the carpet. “It’s bedtime for you, Aidan.”
“Awww, Mom.” Aidan rolled onto his back. Jewel mirrored his actions. Her accompanying whine was almost a perfect imitation of his. “Just ten more minutes.”
“You said that ten minutes ago.”
“I did?” Aidan arched an eyebrow. His gaze flashed to Sean. “Come on, Sean, please. Just ten more minutes.”
Sean shook his head. “What your mom says goes double for me.”
Aidan grumbled as he climbed to his feet and stomped up the stairs. “Why are you on her side?”
Debra was silent for a moment. “Did you see what he did?”
“Try to pit us against each other? Smart children do that.”
“No, well, yes, but more than that. I mean…” The words tangled on her tongue. Her mind screamed at her to shut up. They were too presumptive, too bold—
“You mean smart children do that to their parents?”
Debra sucked in her breath. “How do you do that mind-reading thing?”
Sean shrugged, but the gesture was stiff. “It’s a gift. Look, it’s a tough topic. I’m not ready to go there. Right now, I’m just enjoying the moment.”
“Right. We’ve just started dating.” She kept her voice even but something in her shriveled. It had been stupid to imagine that he might have been ready for more, that he might have been ready to assume responsibility for a child who wasn’t his.
Sean nodded, apparently reassured by her words. “It’s too soon.”
No, it wasn’t. Not for her. Debra knew it in her heart and in her head. Perhaps it came from being older, from having a longer perspective of life. Perhaps it came from wasting almost a decade of her life floundering from the results of bad decisions and not taking charge of her own direction sooner. Perhaps it came from knowing what she didn’t want—Peter—and what she did want—Sean. Or perhaps it was from watching Aidan laugh in Sean’s company and grow and learn beneath Sean’s watchful gaze. Perhaps it was the pleasure and comfort she took in waking beside Sean each morning and falling asleep beside him each night.
But it was too soon for him.
She fixed a smile on a face. “Do you want a refill on your coffee?”
“No, it’s getting late.”
“I’m getting
