Would he break Aidan’s heart when he finally walked away?
Would he break hers?
“Debra?” Sean’s footsteps sounded behind her.
She swiped the moisture away from her eyes and forced a smile into her voice. “Yes?”
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“You walked away with a catch in your voice. It’s not nothing. It’s the marriage thing, right?”
“No, it’s not the marriage thing. Marriage isn’t a thing. It’s a relationship.”
“It’s a big next step. I’m not ready for it.”
“I know.”
“It’s too soon.”
“You’ve already said that.”
His eyes narrowed. “So why are you freezing me out like I’ve screwed up?”
“I’m not freezing you out. I didn’t want to bother you with what I was feeling, so I left to give you space.”
“That’s the same thing.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Look, it’s been two months. We’ve been happy together, but it’s just the honeymoon period. It doesn’t last.”
“It does if both people brought their authentic selves into the relationship in the first place. I know I did. Did you?”
He tensed. “If this is about the phone calls—”
“This isn’t about the phone calls. It’s about whether you’d walk away some day.”
Sean shook his head sharply. “Men walk away from marriages all the time. A ring isn’t a guarantee of stability.”
“No, it’s not, but it’s a statement of commitment.”
“Until it isn’t.” He grimaced. “What do you want, Debra? A title?”
“I already have one.” The Other Woman. Debra sucked in a deep breath. It’s not about me. “Aidan’s growing attached to you. His father is a flake. I don’t want the other men in his life to be flakes too. I don’t want him growing up thinking that leaving women is the normal thing to do.”
“I haven’t left. I’m right here!”
“But you could.”
Sean rolled his eyes. “Damn it, Debra. Anything could happen if you project far enough into the future. Why are you borrowing trouble that hasn’t happened? Right now, I’m here. Isn’t that enough?”
She stared up at him. It should be. The fact that he was here right now should have been enough.
Why wasn’t it?
“I want more.” Her words escaped in a stricken whisper.
His eyes narrowed, and he turned aside but did not step away.
“It’s not wrong to want more. After nine years of barely scraping by, after eight years of watching my son grow up with practically nothing, I’ve realized that I hadn’t wanted more. I just wanted enough, and enough was what I got. But ‘more’…more is where the laughter rings out, where love becomes so real you can almost touch it, where life really happens.” The steadiness of her voice surprised her, but perhaps it shouldn’t have. The certainty in her heart anchored her. She laid a hand on his arm; his muscles were taut, his shoulders stiff. “I want more for Aidan and for myself. Right now, you are the more that we have, and it’s wonderful, but it’s not wrong for me to ask if ‘more’ is going to be sticking around tomorrow.”
He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. “I’ll be here tomorrow.”
“Figuratively, not literally.”
“I don’t control the future—”
“Stop falling back on the fact that you’re not God. Of course I know you can’t control the future. None of us can promise we’ll wake up tomorrow, but darn it if we aren’t going to try. Trying our best is all we can do—you taught me that.”
A muscle twitched in his cheek. With obvious effort, his lips tugged into a half smile. “I never thought you’d use it against me.”
“I’m not using anything against you. You want to know how I feel? Now, you do. I’m looking for more. I don’t need an answer now. I don’t even need an answer tomorrow—literally. But I’ll need an answer at some point, because enough isn’t enough anymore.”
Chapter 10
The next day, the sun blazed down on Sean’s back. The cool April morning had given way to a hot afternoon, but he worked on, oblivious to the heat and the stain of sweat on his shirt, until Jack’s voice cut into his tangled thoughts. “You keep scrubbing that spot, you’ll take the paint off the truck.”
His head snapped up.
Jack raised an eyebrow.
Sean grunted and threw the brush into the bucket of soapy water. “Sorry, I was thinking.”
“You might want to do that while you’re not working.”
Sean chuckled, but he heard the ring of irony in his own voice. “Sometimes, working is the only thing that makes the thoughts tolerable.”
“What’s bugging you?
“Women.”
“Debra or the other one.”
Sean frowned. He hadn’t thought about Romina for weeks, other than the automatic refusal of her phone calls. “Debra, of course.”
Jack nodded and leaned back against a dry patch on the fire truck. “Marie was saying that Debra’s looking better these days. Doesn’t look nearly as stressed and frazzled as she usually is. She’s smiling and laughing more. She’s pretty again, like she used to be, before Peter.” Jack spread his hands when Sean glared at him. “Hey, I didn’t notice nothing. Marie pointed it out. Blooming. That’s the word Marie used. You didn’t get her pregnant, did you?”
“No!” Sean recoiled. Had he? What else could possibly explain Debra’s demands for something more from their relationship?
No, it couldn’t possibly be. He had been careful, and she was on birth control.
She wouldn’t have lied to him, would she?
Damn it. Not again.
He growled, low and deep in his throat. “I’m going to—”
Jack grabbed his arm. “Whatever you do, be careful. Debra hasn’t been on the best of terms with the folks in town since her one-night stand with Peter, but she’s still one of us. Nobody wants to see her get hurt.”
“I’m not going to hurt her.”
“You always have the best intentions, but can
