The sorrows are real
as froth on the wave
as shit on the beach
the cityś disgrace
Who cares what I say
I´m not who I was
I´m paid what I pay
I´m always in love
The summer won´t come
´till I go to bed
The birds will return
when the dog is dead
You can´t say it right
when you touch yourself
But truthś not advice
It is total health
The crap on my back
the piss in my face
but happy at last
in the Holy Place
You can´t go too deep
if you want to swim
where the mermaids weep
out of love for Him
208
Ìm nothing but lust
I´m nothing but pain
I did these mistrust
but Never Again
I say what I want
for I am the Child
of G-d coming home
and His Wife gone wild
I don´t need a thing
I use what I have
a moth-eaten wing
a worm cut in half
With these I invoke
The Name to draw nigh
I´m clamped in a stock
to hold my head high
My animal howls
My angelś upset
And deep in my bowels
the shit of regret
You can´t stop a man
from loving too much
I´m still licking stamps
from trying it once
My pen is too wet
My ink is too black
The Winner won´t get
his foot on the track
But the one like me
with light in her eye
is utterly free
to crawl or to fly
209
And sheĺl know the path
I carved through the pain
my will cut in half
and Freedom between
Iĺl meet her one day
when the time is right
for me to display
my flare in the night
for the space in space
to cough up the Word
that seals our Embrace
unharmed and unheard
And Mercy at last
for one doubled up
and tied to the mast
with the flags of love
And thankś be to you
for helping me out
when Youth had no clue
whatś it all about
Your kindness is kind
your trueness is true
I pray that youĺl find
your Beloved, too
as I have found mine
where I´d never look:
in the threaded spine
of my Longing Book.
210
Roshi At 89
Roshi's very tired
he's lying on his bed
He's been living with the living
and dying with the dead
But now he wants another drink
(will wonders never cease?)
He's making war on war
and he's making war on peace
He's sitting in the throne-room
on his great Original Face
and he's making war on Nothing
that has something in its place
His stomach's very happy
the prunes are working well
There's no one going to Heaven
and there's no one left in Hell
211
Better
better than darkness
is fake darkness
which swindles you
into necking with
your neighborś daughter
better than banks
are false banks
where you put
all your rough money
into legal tender
better than coffee
is blue coffee
which you drink
in your last bath
or sometimes waiting
for your shoes
to be dismantled
better than poetry
is my poetry
which refers
to everything
that is beautiful and
dignified, but is
neither of these itself
better than wild
is secretly wild
as when I am in my car
in the darkness of
a parking space
with a new friend
212
better than art
is repulsive art
which is shunned
by Hashem
and in the ensuing
hullaballoo
I slip
into broadway theaters
and sit undetected
in the Hadassah section
better than greatness
is silly greatness
which stands me
on the shoulders
of my garage
the better to
drop all the eggs
into one basket
better than memory
is tricky memory
which is the juice
of patriotism and
national interest
and the fall of husbands
and all the Sad Show
better than darkness
is darkless
which is inkier, vaster
more profound
and eerily refrigerated -
filled with caves
and blinding tunnels
in which appear
beckoning dead relatives
and other religious
paraphernalia
213
better than love
is rove
which is the Japanese
more refined
smoother
strangely erotic-
tiny serene people
with huge genitalia
but lighter than thought
comfortably installed
on an eyelash of mist
and living grimly
ever after
cooking, gardening
and raising kids
better than my mother
is your mother
who is still alive
while mine is dead
as a doornail
better than me
are you
kinder than me
are you
sweeter smarter faster
you you you
prettier than me
stronger than me
lonelier than me
I want to get to know you
better and better
214
The Drunkard Becomes Gender-Free
This morning I woke up again
I thank my Lord for that
The world is such a pigpen
That I have to wear a hat
I love the Lord I praise the Lord
I do the Lord forgive
I hope I won't be sorry
For allowing Him to live
I know you like to get me drunk
And laugh at what I say
I'm very happy that you do
I'm lonely every day
I'm angry at the angel
Who pinched me on the thigh
And made me fall in love
With every woman passing by
I know they are your sisters
And your daughters and your wives
But even tho' they live at home
They all lead double lives
It's fun to run to heaven
When you're off the beaten track
But God is such a monkey
When you've got Him on your back
God is such a monkey
And He's such a woman too
SHe's such a place of nothing
SHe's such a face of you
May SHe crash into your temple
And look out thru' your eyes
And make you fall in love
With everybody you despise
215
S.O.S.
Take a long time with your anger,
sleepy head.
Don't waste it in riots.
Don't tangle it with ideas.
The Devil won't let me speak,
will only let me hint
that you are a slave,
your misery a deliberate policy
of those in whose thrall you suffer,
and who are sustained
by your misfortune.
The atrocities over there,
the interior paralysis over here--
Pleased with the better deal?
You are clamped down.
You are being bred for pain.
The Devil ties my tongue.
I'm speaking to you,
'friend of my scribbled life'.
You have been conquered by those
who know how to conquer invisibly.
The curtains move so beautifully,
lace curtains of some
sweet old intrigue:
the Devil tempting me
to turn away from alarming you.
So I must say it quickly.
Whoever is in your life,
those who harm you,
those who help you;
those whom you know
and those whom you do not know --
let them off the hook,
help them off the hook.
Recognize the hook.
You are listening to Radio Resistance.
216
Religious Statues
After a while
I started playing with dolls
I loved their peaceful expressions
They all had their places
in a corner of Room 315
I would say to myself:
It doesn´t matter
that you can´t breathe
that you are hopelessly involved
in the panic of the situation -
It is the will of God
I´d light a cigarette
and a stick of Nag Champa
Both would burn too fast
in the draft of the ceiling fan
Then I might say
something like:
Thank You
for the terms of my life
which make it so painfully clear
that I am powerless
to control You
and I´d watch CNN
the rest of the night
from a completely
