I don’t reply to his text messages. I wouldn’t know what to say anyway. What I really need to do is just put Logan completely out of my head and my life. Whatever I thought was going on with us, I got it totally wrong.
Tomorrow is a new day, a fresh start.
Another one.
Chris picked me up for school the next morning and the weeks that followed fell into a sort of routine. He would give me lifts to school. I would go to my classes, eat lunch with Amber and the rest of the guys. Meet Chris after school for my lift home. Sometimes we would go out for dinner or a movie. Sometimes just the two of us and other times a group of us would go. Game nights I would go and cheer him on, but I would find myself watching someone else on the team instead. I had a few more lessons in the truck with Chris and was ready to go out by myself. Now I just needed to work up the courage to do it.
I know people assumed we were together, and it probably looked like we were. We were constantly together outside of our classes, and we arrived and left school together. Aunt Sara didn’t say anything, she would just raise her eyebrows and smile at us when we were at home together. He would try to hold my hand sometimes and I would let him, but he never tried anything else, although I knew he wanted too.
I would avoid Logan at school, he was in some of my lessons and they were the worst because it became impossible to concentrate with him sat behind me. I asked someone to switch with me so it put more distance between us, but it didn’t help. He would text me every other day just to say hello, ask how I was doing, if I would meet with him. I never replied to him.
I still got the notes and flowers, at least once a week and I just threw them away. I’ve even stopped reading them. They were all the same.
I was his.
No one else could have me.
Chris is getting too close; I should stay away from him.
He would have me soon.
Instead of scaring me now though, they got me more and more angry, and even more determined to stay away from him and to not reply to his texts.
A guy from my class asked me out once, but I turned him down politely and he was fine with it. The next day he had a black eye and a split lip, I could take a guess at where he got it. I went to ask him but he literally took one look at me and turned the other way. After that no guys apart from Chris and the guys in our small group even attempted to talk to me. To be honest I was completely fine with that, I had never liked the attention I received anyway.
However what I wasn’t fine with was the times I would see him outside school or at the coffee shop with her. It hurt me inside more than I wanted it too. Even as the weeks passed, the hurt didn’t get any less. It just got more intense.
My nights don’t get any better either. They are filled more than ever with dreams. Dreams of memories of my parents before they died. My usual nightmares about the crash; and now I have new dreams. Ones where instead of my mum and dad in the inferno its aunt Sara, Amber, Chris, sometimes Logan.
Dreams that are of wolves. Grey ones and Black ones. Friendly ones and terrifying beastly ones.
What are worse than all of those though are the other ones of Logan. Ones where he is surrounded by white flowers and grey wolves that remind me of the time I woke up to the flowers on my balcony. Another one with him in is where we are just sat by the lake or driving in his car and we are just... happy together. I feel it through all of my body. Happiness and completeness.
But then I wake up and all I feel is emptiness.
The only time that the emptiness goes away are the nights when I’m sat out on the porch and my black wolf comes. He just sits in the yard. He doesn’t come as close as he did before, not close enough for me to touch, but I know he is there and that seems to bring a calm my body. I look forward to those times and find myself sitting out there more and more just to see if he will come.
◆◆◆
Logan’s POV
Rejection isn’t something that I’ve generally had to deal with in my life; because of my wolf side I’ve always been great at sport, so I was always picked first for school sport teams. Getting girls has never been an issue for me either, although since I met Alexia there’s no one that I have even wanted to go near. I haven’t been out on a date with anyone in weeks and Tara is starting to really annoy me with her constant flirting and wont take hints. Having Caitlyn here helps to tame Tara a little though. I used to be able to handle it. I didn’t mind getting the attention from her; she is hot after all, but now I just see her as another obstacle that’s stopping me from being with
