It had helped take my mind off a certain woman.
Camilla has been taking more of my mind than I would have liked her too.
I had made Stacey my Old Lady and that wasn’t something that I took lightly. I hadn’t wanted just anyone to wear my patch and I knew it was an important decision to make. Being an Old Lady and claiming a woman as yours is like marriage to us bikers.
Old Ladies were protected. Respected. I didn’t want to do anything to dishonour the name and title it held.
It was almost like Stacey had fallen into my lap.
I had saved her from an asshole who thought the word “no” meant “try harder.”
I hated assholes like that and everything that they stood for.
The club had gone on lockdown and I didn’t want her to share a room with any other brothers, and I had thoughts of wanting to kill anyone who tried.
I knew that my sister would be in Damien’s room. He was completely protective and possessive of her. I knew that Ella was in good hands and, if I wanted her to fall for anyone, I was glad it was a brother.
I was able to hold her in my arms that first night and it had completely felt right. There is no other way to describe it. She felt like she belonged there.
This life is dangerous. It’s not something to take lightly. Stacey didn’t like bikers at first, but then everything happened with Ella and she saw us in a different light.
I knew it wasn’t easy for her, given how she saw danger every time we were around. Then when she knew that we would protect her, the worst of the fucking worst happened.
I had lost the woman I loved.
She wasn’t just gone or passed away. She was taken from me. It still guts me to think about it.
She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I wish I had the chance again to torture that fucker that laid his hands on my woman. No matter how much pain I inflicted on him, it was still too kind for what he deserved.
I’m sitting in the middle of the hallway leaning against the wall when I clear my thoughts. My face is soaked with tears that I didn’t realize I was shedding.
I decide that I am done for the day and head to the kitchen where I boxed up everything. I knew I had left the alcohol there.
When I get to the box, I hesitate. Fuck. Thinking about Stacey has got me twisted up inside.
I grab a random bottle, open it up, and take a big drink out of whatever it was. I don’t notice anything but the burn.
I decide to sit outside on the back patio and try to forget times when things were easier.
Camilla
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I don’t know who would try to contact me right now.
The women text me often but, considering they are all here right now, I don’t think that it’s any of them.
I wasn’t paying attention to any of the conversation since I kept wondering about Tyson, and only focused enough that they didn’t question what was on my mind.
What would I really say? I’m thinking about a man who I haven’t seen since I left the clubhouse and the only time I did, he took off the second he had seen me?
I must be really foolish to still be thinking about him.
I sigh as I check my phone.
Tyson: I miss seeing those bear pictures. I often wonder what else he has been up to.
I can’t help the catch in my breath. What am I supposed to say to that?
Not a word for three weeks and then, all of a sudden, this?
Tyson: I’m sorry.
I can’t help but hesitate. What can I really say? Is this forming some sort of unhealthy attachment for both of us?
Me: My obvious attempt at forming a friendship didn’t work out. I think it’s best if we just cut our losses while we are ahead.
Tyson: Listen, I’m sorry I was a dick but this hasn’t been easy for me.
Me: Maybe that’s more reason to just stop whatever this was.
Tyson: I don’t want to and I don’t think you do either. Let’s just get to know each other. That’s all I can offer. My head isn’t in the right place for friends or more.
Me: I’ll think about it.
I sigh as I stick my phone back in my pocket and Krista catches my eye.
“Problems?” she asks curiously.
It doesn’t seem like anyone is paying any attention to us, so I talk freely.
“It’s just Tyson,” I say quietly. She moves closer to me and gives me a look of confusion.
“Torch.” I say his road name this time.
This time, I watch as her eyebrows shoot up and she looks surprised.
“Wow, that’s not what I expected you to say. What’s the problem? I didn’t know you guys were talking, honestly,” she says quietly. I think she knows that it’s not something that I want people talking about right at this moment.
I tell her about the bear and me sending him silly pictures, but that he laughed at each one and didn’t give me the impression that they were annoying in any way. Then, how I saw him at the BBQ but he took off as soon as I showed up. Then about how he messages now even though I haven’t sent him anything in three weeks. She listens while making sure that no one else is paying attention to our conversation, which I’m very thankful for.
After I finish telling her
