I respected everything the class was about and finally agreed. The class is in two days and, even though I am anxious, I am a bit excited to be around more people.
My thoughts are broken when I see a couple of SUVs pull up.
I walk over, open the door and smile when I see all the women plus Stitch and Shield come out. They grab a lot of bags from the back and I have to wonder what they decided to bring to a girls’ day.
From the one I experienced when I was still at the clubhouse, I would have to guess that some alcohol is involved.
I hug each of them as they come onto the porch. They all greet me with friendly faces.
“What did you all bring?” I ask eyeing all the bags.
I see Stitch and Shield shake their heads. “Well we brought snacks, booze, and some girls’ night games to make the night more fun,” Lily says smiling.
“Oh okay. Well let’s set everything up but, to be honest, my mom has been making appetizers all morning so we are going to have a lot of food,” I say as we walk into the kitchen.
“I could eat about a thousand pounds of food right now. I’m starving,” Sophie says coming into the kitchen eyeing everything while licking her lips.
“Well go ahead, some of it is still warm,” my mom says hearing Sophie talk about how hungry she is.
Everyone eats and it’s great to see everyone getting along. My Auntie Wendy comes over thirty minutes later with some nail supplies. I had asked my mom to invite her, so we could make it a complete girls, day and night.
I found myself looking forward to it instead of dreading it.
Everyone gets their hair and nails done while having some drinks. I’m pretty sure that the only sober ones by the end of the night are Sophie and Krista, but they are having just as much fun.
The door is open to the living room and I can see Stitch, Shield, my brother, and my dad all talking in the living room. To my surprise, the brothers don’t drink. When my dad asked them why, they said it was because they were on watch.
That definitely showed me how serious these guys took their duty and club.
Every day it seems to get easier to breathe.
I can only hope for the day that I don’t have any flashbacks and I can walk around without looking over my shoulder.
But with these women right here, I can feel a bond forming, and I feel like they are going to be an important part of my life.
Tyson “Torch”
I curse as I hit my hand with the hammer for the third time.
My mind has been a complete mess these last three weeks; ever since I had walked out of that BBQ after seeing Camilla looking completely gorgeous. I could not stand the feeling it gave me as it came with immediate guilt. Instantly, I found her attractive and I found myself looking at her in a way that I shouldn’t. A range of emotions washed over me in seconds.
I didn’t know what to do with it at the time and, to be honest, I still don’t.
That day, I had taken off and found myself at Stacey’s grave. It was almost like I could feel her presence there beside me trying to calm me down.
I didn’t bother to wipe the tears as they fell. I have cried more since she died than I have in my entire life. I couldn’t help the guilt that had overcome me.
It’s too soon to look at another woman and think that she’s gorgeous.
I shouldn’t want to look forward to her silly photos but, once they stopped, I realized how much I did.
So many times I had picked up my phone ready to text her and ask her why she had stopped sending them, but I didn’t know what kind of message that was sending to her.
I don’t want to lead her on in any way because she has already been through too much when I’m unsure of everything. My heart still feels like it is completely shattered and I know that I’m not ready for more.
The memories of Stacey come as they always do. I still save the drinking for the night; especially because in the afternoons a few times a week I have been spending time with my niece and nephews. I had made a promise to myself and I intended to keep it.
The kitchen is done now because I have been working very hard on it as long as I can. I do not want to sit down in my house because any time I relax, I feel myself slipping deeper into my mind. I fixated on making sure that everything was perfect before I moved onto the next room.
I stand back and look at my work. The top-of-the-line stove and stainless steel fridge matching with the dark cupboards make the kitchen look pretty good.
I had created an island in the middle of the kitchen for more counter space. I don’t know what I need the counter space for, but it looks like it would be helpful to have that much room.
I bought a six seater wooden table and leather chairs. It was a set that I liked, and I knew that I couldn’t get away with buying a small table because I have a lot of family that visits with their kids, and brothers who used to come over before I turned into a grumpy ass. The place looks pretty good for mostly me doing the work.
I plan to paint this weekend in the hallway and living room. I picked the colours out and got everything that I will need. There
