“Fuck, I’m sorry. I just needed a night to myself, after everything,” I say as I hang my head in guilt.
“I know, son. That’s why you are going to clean yourself up. You’re on watch for the rest of the day. You know better than to ignore orders in a lockdown,” he says angrily.
“Fuck, where do you want me?” I ask. There’s no point in arguing. I knew that he was pissed. Putting me on watch while hung over will be brutal as fuck, especially since it’s going to be a hot day today.
I know better than to question him. He may be my father, but he’s also the president of the Vicious Snakes MC. There are times that the club has seen him get emotional; like when Ella showed up after he searched for my long lost sister for years, and when she had a baby. He also got emotional when Stacey was killed. She was my old lady and like a second daughter to him.
There were so many days that he would come over for supper and ask her when she was going to give him grandbabies. She just wasn’t ready and he knew that but, being my father, he still had to ask.
No one would mistake those times he cried for weakness. He would probably kill anyone who would call him weak.
Something he always told us at Church was that showing your brothers that you care and love your women, men, and children doesn’t make you weak. It takes a strong person to have anyone see that side of him. If you lost your mother, father, wife, sister, brother or kid today, then anyone would be an idiot if they thought you were weak. We are a family. We do not hide.
My dad is the man that I have always looked up to. Yeah, I’m drowning in grief, but I know that I can’t show him disrespect. Ignoring the lockdown was stupid and selfish.
“Let’s go. Before Sophie gives away all the muffins,” he says rushing me.
I head into the shower knowing that he means business.
I make sure that I have what I need even though I keep lots of extras at the club. You never know when you’re going to need them.
Once I’m outside, I feel better. My dad had a cup of coffee ready for me so that I can get ready. By the time I’m ready and feeling human enough to ride, we head out.
I glance at the box before shutting and locking my door.
I blow out a big breath.
One minute at a time.
Camilla
Hours pass by until I hear voices coming closer to my door.
“She’s still in there?” I hear, and I know automatically that it’s Torch.
I know his voice anywhere. It’s a deep growl that’s filled with pain. I find myself wanting to find out what’s hurting him, and make him smile.
These thoughts are ridiculous. I need to concentrate on making myself better instead of thinking about Torch.
The kindness that he showed me by staying in the hospital so that I wouldn’t have nightmares makes me feel like there’s a hidden gentleness that hasn’t been brought out in a long time.
He stayed with me. Even when the doctors examined me, I didn’t want him to leave. I didn’t feel safe without him there.
He has seen some the injuries I have and the deep scars that were inflicted on parts of my body, but he would turn away when I had to lift my hospital gown. I felt his anger radiate around the room each time he saw another mark on me revealing what had been done.
The door to my room opens and Torch walks in. “You need to get out. You can’t stay in here all day.”
I shrug and don’t look at him.
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“I’m just not ready,” I say quietly.
He lets out a sigh. “I know that you have been through a lot, but the women were going to head to Ella’s room for a girls’ night. Might be good for you.”
I don’t say anything but, when Lily and Sasha come in behind him, they are both looking quite determined.
“Just the girls, enough junk food that we will all be regretting tomorrow, and some booze. All of you girls need this. They really want you to be there,” Lily says looking at me with a hopeful expression.
“Look, there’s going to be no men and, if you want to hear some hilarious stories only the Old Ladies know about these bikers; now’s your chance. They may look tough and scary, but wait until you hear some of the ways they got their biker names. You would think that they are named from something tough that they did, but usually they are named on behalf of stupid things that they have done,” Sasha says with an excited expression.
I think about it, and there’s something in their gaze telling me that they won’t try to make me talk about anything that I don’t want to.
“Okay I’ll go. Just let me shower,” I say, wincing as I get up.
Lily comes into the room more, “Let me help you, dear. You can’t be too long because of your wounds, so it will be faster.”
I reluctantly nod. As much as I don’t want her to help me, I know she’s right, and it’s better her than anyone else helping me.
At least I’m not on heavy pain killers. I didn’t want to take anything that made me tired or loopy. After everything I have been through, Doc, Krista, and Olivia reluctantly agreed. Sure, I’m still in pain,
