It has been one week since Camilla left to go back with her family. Really, I should be thrilled. That woman was doing all sorts of messed up things with my head and I couldn’t handle it anymore.
I watched as she took a bullet for my father, while she bled on our laps in the back of the SUV we went to the hospital in, and also when she came out of surgery and into recovery.
She opened her eyes and I felt like she could fucking see right through me. I stood there in that room still as a fucking statue when her eyes found mine. She didn’t look away until my dad and mom were right beside her bed with my mom gently hugging her and thanking her for saving my father.
I was fucking thankful. I don’t know what I would have done if I lost my old man too.
When I sat down in the chair beside her bed, I didn’t think anything of it. I grabbed her hand in a gentle squeeze so that she would know without words that I was glad she was okay.
What she did surprised me. She held onto my fucking hand in the tightest grip she could manage, which wasn’t a lot, but I knew what she was trying to do.
I decided to wait until she fell asleep so that I could slip my hand out and leave to drown myself in alcohol.
That didn’t work out as planned at all.
As soon as I slipped my hand out of hers and was walking toward the door, she starting screaming.
There were times when she would cry in her sleep. That was the fucking worst. I don’t know everything this woman has been through, but I had seen the scars and all the fresh marks on her body.
I didn’t know how someone could do that to such an innocent woman. Sure, I like to fuck people up with my torch, but those are assholes who deserve it. I would never touch someone in such a harmful and cruel way if they didn’t deserve it.
This woman had been through more than I could wrap my head around. When I got my hands on Cutter last week, I fucking smiled at him. I pictured every scar that ran along Camilla’s body as I brought my torch to his. He fucking screamed like the little bitch he is and I can’t say that I’m sorry for it.
Not only was what he did to Camilla unacceptable, but he had also kidnapped my sister and betrayed the club. He had also put Krista in harm’s way and, though I’m not as close to her as I am with the other women in the club, I sure as fuck have her back.
I could tell that Camilla was strong. She had the fight in her whenever I looked into her eyes. What she went through didn’t break her, but I could tell that it almost did.
She had admitted to me that when she jumped in front of the bullet and was shot, she didn’t think she was going to make it. She had told me that she was tired of living in pain and the last few months were nothing but pain, screams, and tears. She was ready to give up. She said that the only reason she was holding on was because the women had started to be brought in.
She fucking wanted to be able to protect them. She felt as though if she had given up that they would have moved onto someone else for a ‘toy,’ and she didn’t want anyone one to suffer through what she had.
Fucking heart of gold.
That’s what has been going through my head since she walked out of the club and back home.
I know that she made it home and is with her family but, fuck, by spending most of my days with her, I haven’t spent much time thinking about anything else. Every time I took a break helping Camilla, my mind would wander back to thoughts of Stacey.
I feel guilty as fuck for thinking of Camilla even if it’s just thoughts regarding her wellbeing and nothing more. I think about how she’s doing and if she’s having nightmares without me around.
My phone buzzes while I’m lost in my thoughts.
Camilla: Thank you for everything, Torch. I just needed to let you know that I’m grateful that you stayed in the hospital with me so that I could sleep and not dream about them. I know that you didn’t want to be there, but I’m glad that you were.
Me: No thanks necessary. You saved my dad. I owe you a hell of a lot more than just sitting beside you so that you can sleep.
Camilla: You don’t owe me anything. I would do it all over again.
Me: That’s why I owe you. Because you wouldn’t think twice about doing it again.
Me: Are you sleeping now that you are home?
Camilla: …
Me: Camilla, don’t lie to me.
Camilla: Well not really. I have been laying in my bed and my brother sleeps on the couch in my room because I kept screaming and he hated that he couldn’t be there for me when I was in the hospital. Unfortunately, he doesn’t take the dreams away, but it’s still good to know that he’s there.
Me: What do you need me to do?
Camilla: Nothing, this helps.
Me: Fuck. If it gets to be too much, you tell me. You hear?
Camilla: …
Me: Camilla, no lies.
Camilla: No lies. I will tell you, Torch.
My hands shake as I type out my next text. I’m glad she reached out so that now I won’t hesitate to contact her. I won’t feel like I’m overwhelming her by checking up on her.
Me: Call me Tyson.
Camilla: Okay. Talk to you
