I blow out a breath and my whole body is shaking.
There is only one other woman that I have ever told me to call me Tyson. I tell myself that I just don’t like her calling me Torch because she’s not part of the club life.
Maybe if I repeat it to myself enough times, I will start to believe it.
I can only hope so because, if not, this guilt will eat away at me.
Camilla
When I pulled up to my house last week, my brother was standing outside. The vehicle pulled up and he pulled open the door before I could have a chance to.
My parents were right behind him and I was yanked out of the vehicle and into my family’s arms.
I breathed in the scent of all of them. I didn’t think that I would ever be in their presence again.
My dad smells like tobacco and firewood. He always smells like that even though I don’t remember the last time he actually had a fire. My mother has her usual smell of vanilla. I know it’s from all the baking she does, but it’s like she splashes it all over herself. I realize that my brother hasn’t ever gotten over bathing himself in cheap cologne. I used to hate it and I made fun of him all of the time, and he always laughed it off. I never thought that I would miss these smells but, as I breathe them in, the scents trigger feelings of happiness and protection.
A throat clears, and I suddenly remember that Derek and Lily came with me. They wanted to make sure that I was home safe. I know that it’s because they are now protective of me.
My dad’s eyes widen slightly at seeing Derek.
I’m not going to lie, Derek is a big man. He’s got muscles that’s for sure, and the whole silver fox thing going on. You can tell that he’s been through some shit and wouldn’t hesitate to protect his family.
“You must be Camilla’s family. Name’s Derek, and this is my woman, Lily,” he says lifting his chin to them in greeting.
My dad nods his head “Yes, I’m her father, Anthony, and this is her mother, Crystal, and that’s her brother, Xavier. Are you the ones who found my Camilla?” he asks.
“Yes we did,” Derek says with a nod, but doesn’t say any more than that.
I already know what I shouldn’t say to my family. I don’t want to let them in on most of what I have been through. I know that they would already be feeling helpless. They didn’t have much to help them try and find me even though I know that they did everything they could. My family would have never given up on me.
“Thank you,” my mother says holding back a sob.
I look at my family seeing all of them with tears down their faces. I know that my disappearance had destroyed them.
Then I turn my head back to Derek and Lily who both smile softly at me.
I give them both a tight hug. “Thank you so much,” I whisper to them.
“Don’t worry about it, kid. You call if you need anything, you hear?” he says, and I nod my head.
I smile when I think about that day.
The day I came home.
I was never happier than that day because I finally got to see my family again.
The last week has been a challenge. I didn’t leave my home. My brother had chosen to stay in his old room in our parents’ house. My room was right beside his, but when I started screaming, he would come running.
I told him about the nightmares and how they happen all the time, and he suggested that he sleeps in my room. He has been sleeping on the little couch in my room. It’s not very big, but he doesn’t want to leave me alone even though he’s probably uncomfortable. I still don’t get much sleep, but it could partially be due to the fact that my brother snores. Some nights, I find myself lying awake because of how loud he is; but, as annoying as it is, it’s also comforting because I know that I’m not in that place anymore.
I just wasn’t ready to be alone and my family understood that, but I couldn’t help but wonder why Torch was the one to chase away the nightmares.
I had taken the chance to send him a text and I was relieved to hear back from him.
I wondered how he was doing. Was he still working on the pain in his eyes?
Those eyes haunted me in the day time. It was all I could think about when I was alone.
I decided to send messages to other people. I wasn’t going back to work and my family wasn’t going to let me out of their sights any time soon. I might as well see if I can make friends because the women from the Vicious Snakes seemed like they were being genuine when they said that I could message them any time, and that I had friends in them.
Me: Hey, it’s Camilla. Just wanted to see how it’s going with the baby?
Ella: Hey Cami! It’s so good to hear from you! It’s going great. My kids have barely let me out of their sight because of how long they went without seeing me. I love it though, and it’s not something that I will take for granted again.
Me: That’s good. I’m glad that you all are enjoying your time together.
Ella: Thank you. How is it being home?
Me: It’s great. I missed my family, but I’m getting kind of bored. My mother suggested that I should talk to someone. They hear my nightmares at night and it scares them.
Ella: I think that might be
