It makes my heart hurt. Everything makes my heart hurt these days. One thing in particular—I’m late. My period is officially five days late, and I don’t think it’s because of stress. I mean, that’s a real possibility, but unlikely. I refuse to take a pregnancy test, though. I’m too scared. I thought I would be okay with a co-parent situation. I know Carson will be an amazing father regardless of our relationship status… but co-parenting isn’t what I want. I don’t think it ever was.
I let out another sigh as I watch him wipe his sweaty forehead with his discarded shirt. He’s mowing my lawn again, even though it hardly needs it. He’s been perfect at staying at a distance but never allowing me to forget he’s right here, ready to take care of me.
First, he listened to Prue and gave me the space I asked for—and instantly regretted by the way. He fixed my car without me asking after it wouldn’t start. He unobtrusively did it while I was at work then delivered it back without a word. It runs better than it ever has, of course. He cleaned my gutters and mowed my lawn… he’s been here for the taking without being in my face about it.
I sort of wish he would get so in my face his lips meet mine. I miss our passion. The fire that burns between us anytime we touch.
Letting out a forlorn sigh, I finish getting ready for work, hoping that he will be there, sitting across the room and watching over me. I’m really getting a dose of be careful what you wish for. I wished for space, and now I regret how true that wish has become.
I desperately want him to barge in here and make me listen. Tell me that this house that I love wasn’t just some kind of set up to manipulate me into a relationship. Margo tried to get me to see reason—it worked, of course. She asked me what and why the motivation would be for Carson to manipulate me. I couldn’t come up with a single valid reason. If I didn’t want a relationship, I would have stuck to my guns about our mutual hate and ignored him. That’s not how it happened. After that initial push, I basically fell headlong into a relationship that became everything to me.
Margo finally got me to believe that the only person I should be upset with in this whole scenario is Grandma Ruth. She’s the one who masterminded the whole situation. She saw something I never did. I was so blinded by my hurt at Carson’s meanness that I never once saw my own budding love for him.
But she did.
She’s called me several times, but each time I’ve sent her to voicemail. Her message today said to expect her on my doorstep after my shift at the diner. She even threatened to spank me if I dared to avoid her. For some reason, I believed every word. She never once spanked me as a child, but I also never gave her a reason to.
I thought about staying gone. Maybe sleeping on Prue’s couch to avoid the confrontation. But I hate that I’m not talking to my grandmother. I love her, and I miss her steady strength in my life. She’s been the only one to love me unconditionally since mom died, and even though she went behind my back, even I can admit she did it out of love. The least I can do is hear her out.
My shift flies by as my anticipation grows. Maybe anticipation is the wrong word. Trepidation might be better. Carson doesn’t come in today and I’m disappointed. Can I really blame him? How many days will he really waste away sitting here watching over me?
I’m barely home ten minutes before Grandma Ruth is knocking on my door. I cringe, knowing this conversation could get ugly fast. Based on the look on her face, I’m not far off on my assessment.
“Stubborn as a mule,” she says as she enters my home. “I swear I don’t know where you got that from.”
I raise my brow because we both know exactly where I got my stubbornness from. She’s the most stubborn person on the planet. It’s something I’ve always admired about her, though. She sticks to her guns and never lets anyone walk all over her. Unlike me, she’s not afraid to tell it like it is.
“Don’t you sass me, young lady,” she says, pursing her lips. I can’t help but laugh. It’s the first time I’ve laughed in days. It feels good. “Come here, little bird.”
She pulls me into a hug. Her strong arms wrapping around me in a way that only a parent can do. It’s then that I realize I’m both laughing and crying. My emotions so wildly out of control, I can’t feel just one thing at any given time. I feel them all.
“I’m sorry, Analise. Can you forgive a meddling old lady? I just want you to be happy. I saw how the man looks at you, and I knew there wasn’t a bit of hate in his being when it comes to you. And you, my little bird, you might’ve convinced yourself that you hated him, but you know better now, don’t you?”
I nod my head, tears still streaming down my cheeks. She’s not wrong. “I just… why did you guys go behind my back like that?”
“No, kiddo, that was all me. I bought the house all on my own. Not only was it perfect, but it was made even more so because Carson would always be right there. I’d hoped that you would see him for who he really is.
“Now, the fixed-up version… that was all him. Once he learned I bought the place for you, he
