And then I was gone, disappearing into the afternoon setting sun.
Adrian’s POV
A few hours later, my voice hoarse from spending two hours screaming out all my emotions in a sound booth as I tried the new songs before showing them to the band. I had calmed enough to feel guilty about my actions earlier. I sipped a glass of whisky staring into space as Shelly listened to the playback on one of the tracks.
“It has promise,” she commented.
I shrugged, “No more or less than anything else we demo’d. This tour is meant to be a teaser for the new album, and we have barely recorded any full tracks. Lost one member of the band, another is leaving soon that we don’t even have time to replace. Our new material is patchy, and the vibe is pretty much the same as what everyone else is putting out. In short, we are fucked up the ass by a giant cactus without any lube! We are gonna have to postpone the tour. We are not ready.”
Shelly watched him down another three glasses before she spoke. “Okay, so you are stressed about the tour and the music. I get that, but what else is bothering you? Lovers spat with the girl?”
I sighed. “Oh shut up, ye know nothing.”
“Uh huh,” Shelly commented, “other than the fact you are in love with her, you went to see her for lunch, and you came back looking like someone set fire to your favourite leather jacket. And you have been drinking nonstop since you got back, which means A: you two had a fight and B: it was probably your fault.”
“Stop knowing me so fucking well, woman!” I snapped. “Maybe I should fire your ass, so I don’t have to deal with youse anymore!”
“Try it, you couldn’t tie your shoes without me and Rose. Do you even know what tour dates are coming up? Or what cities are on the list for promo spots after London? Do you even know when the awards are that you are singing your new song at, that you haven’t even written yet?” she asked firmly.
“God, I will never have a song ready in time that’s good enough.”
“Does she know that you were friends with her ex yet?”
“I hope she never has to find that out.”
Shelly sighed. “She will find out, and it is better you tell her than someone else.”
“No!” I snapped. “Because then she will have to know everything about it, and I refuse to allow that to happen. To admit my weakness. Not to her, she treats me like I am a person. A real person, not just the half being that’s left.” I ran my hand over my face. “Shit, Shel, I think I’m falling in love with her.”
“Get the fuck out of here and fix whatever you did; you won’t be any good to me until you do,” Shelly said quietly. “And for God’s sake think about telling her the truth before either of you get any more badly hurt.”
I kissed her cheek and belted out of there into a taxi. The ride home seemed like torture, I could have walked it, but it just felt too long to wait. I needed to see Lily again, talk to her about all of this. But the apartment was dark when I got home. “Hello?” I called out, nothing. I poked my head into each of the rooms, she was gone as were her things.
“Fuck.” I sighed, slamming onto the sofa. What could I do now, she could be anywhere? Then I noticed the note on the coffee table. This was not good.
Mr Sparks,
I am not your prostitute to pay off and treat however you like. I did not have sex with you for money, or power or position. I had sex with you because you were a kind man, who treated me right. I see now that was a foolish thing to do. You only wanted me as one of your whores hanging onto your every word. Get that filthy money out of my account and get the hell away from me. I want nothing from you! You are just as bad as him!
Goodbye.
“Fuck,” I muttered again; I completely screwed this up. Yet again, I was losing the person I loved. A huge part of me wanted to just stay there on the sofa and drink myself into oblivion for a few months, but I knew that wasn’t going to do any good. I had to get to her before she or I did anything stupid.
I dug out my phone to ring Brad. “Where is she? Can you find her?”
“Give me an hour.” Brad disconnected the call.
I almost found myself surprised that he didn’t ask who I meant. Seemed everyone around me other than Lily saw how I felt about her. An hour was too long, I had to start looking anyway. Pulling my jacket back on before heading back out into the rain. Instructing the doorman to call me if she came back. The Liffey was where I always found her, so that would be my starting point. Shame there were countless hotels and holiday lets along its length. And that would only help if she checked into one of them, not just jumped town to escape my dumbass bullshit.
Lovers walked by hand in hand; people walking their dogs, people heading out to the bars. The streets were busy. I could assume that there was an event at the arena with the volume of people out and about. This isn’t where she would be. Too many people. She would want to be alone. I stood studying the hotels nearby, the rain soaking through my jacket and into my shirt underneath. One caught my eye; didn’t she make a
